Nest of the Snake
by RabidOrochimaruOtaku
Summary: Dimension Warps? No problem. Killer Snake? Again, okay. Becoming a Ninja? Deal me in with whatever you want. Romancing Orochimaru? Sure. Wait, what? How in the world is that supposed to happen?
1. Accidental Encounters

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's. Yes, I was writing this because I wanted an escape from my class problem.

* * *

"Sarah, you need to do your homework so you don't fail," my older brother reprimanded, and I glared at him until he shrugged and went off to the very class he was talking about.

I sighed in exasperation at my horribly hopeless and death-inducing predicament. I was failing my Western Civilizations class with no way out of it whatsoever. And I was about to lose my college scholarship. Screw. My. Life.

How much worse could this get? So, I hefted up my backpacks and left the classroom that held the dreaded course that would ruin my schooling career. One very large, and a dull brown like a tree trunk, held all my textbooks in it, and the other, a bright cerulean, held my laptop, flash drives, and any other electronics that I valued in it. I had even packed a few volumes of Naruto in it – mainly with Orochimaru in them – as well as my spare binder of everything anime related I had. The binder concealed numerous photos of a certain snake-ninja, a couple of his right hand medic, and a complete guide to the ninja hand signs.

I sighed once more as I sat up in a random chair in the lobby, flipping out my Nintendo DS to play Pokémon: Black Version, and sighed once more as I booted up the game. Just as the game began to play, leaving me in Nimbasa City at the Gym where I'd left off out of boredom, the lights flickered off and on a few times. I closed my eyes, the flickering on and off hurting them. I didn't want to open them until the flickering had stopped. I didn't want it getting worse since my eyes were already screwed up enough because my left eye was extremely near-sighted and my right eye extremely far sided.

I open my eyes once more to find myself in a forest. My cerulean backpack was on me, but my muddy brown one wasn't. I felt like whooping for joy, except for the fact that I had no freaking clue where I was. Ecstatic, I was looking around. I heard voices, and immediately fled the vicinity of where I was to hide in fear. I was now crouched in an alleyway, and behind some bushes.

"So, Ero-Sennin, who are we looking for?" I heard an unmistakable voice say – that was Naruto himself! But if that was Naruto, and I was able to hear his voice and see Jiraiya's white top, then that meant that I was in the ninja world! Yay!

"I told you not to call me that! Hm?" Jiraiya yelled in exasperation, and then turned in my direction in interest.

I, of course, cringed for fear of being raped.

"Well, well, look what we have here!" he crowed as he peeked around the corner to look at me. I was now curled up in the fetal position, guarding my backpack – and more importantly, virginity – with my life if needs be. "Hey, no need to be like that. Just relax and tell Uncle Jiraiya what happened."

"Um…Konnichi wa?" I said confused, bringing out what little Japanese I knew.

"Huh? Whoa, Ero-Sennin, who's she?" Naruto asked quickly as he spotted me, and he began drooling.

"No idea. Come on, kid. I've got a medical friend I'm looking for. Maybe she can help you out, huh?" Jiraiya suggested, and my ears pricked.

Jiraiya was looking for Tsunade still. That meant that Orochimaru was still in pain after he killed the Third Hokage. That meant I could stop the Sannin showdown. Or better yet – stop Sasuke. If I was lucky, and given a few years of miracles one after another, I could seduce one of the Otonin into marrying me.

"Um…am I in trouble?" I asked, terrified like a five year old.

"Don't mind him! He's just a dunce/pervert!" Jiraiya and Naruto said in unison.

"I…" I began, but had no idea how or where to begin. I looked down, terrified, and bit my lower lip.

"Come on. Let's get you to Tsunade," Jiraiya said softly as he lifted me up. Apparently they'd already had the run-in with the Akatsuki.

"Hey, um… what is red clouds a symbol of?" I asked, trying (and probably failing) at faking innocence.

"Uh…Well…" Jiraiya stammered, taken off-guard at the question. "There's a criminal organization that has them on their black trench coats."

"Like the ones that attacked me! They're thugs, and they try to kill people without a second thought!" Naruto butt in. Ah, so they _had _run into the Akatsuki. That cleared up that little shindig - meaning that I was in about Volume seventeen or eighteen.

"You'll want to avoid them at all costs," Jiraiya nodded.

"Oh. Um…Okay. Thanks for the warning," I murmured shyly, careful of these two. They were known perverts, and I intended on saving my V-card for a snake-master who could pleasure me with his very presence.

Yes, I'm a rabid Orochimaru fan girl, in case you hadn't noticed by my username on – which, ironically, was RabidOrochimaruOtaku. If Orochimaru became unavailable, I would resort to Kabuto if necessary. A third backup? Forget it, not happening. Okay, okay – Kimimaro, if only to help him restore his clan. Poor guy needed some help – bad.

Two days later, I finally got to meet the legendary Tsunade. It wasn't exactly on the best of terms either. She had barged into her room, and Shizune was with her, with their pig TonTon. I was scared shizless (I refuse to cuss unless under extreme stress, and will go with similar substitutes) and wanted to vanish without a trace. Jiraiya had been teaching Naruto and me the Rasengan, while Naruto had been teaching me doppelgangers. It seemed like a fair trade to me.

At the time.

Turns out, they wanted me to practice 24/7. Ugh. Five in the morning never was a humane hour to me.

"So, how'd you show up here?" Naruto asked at last one day while we were eating, and I immediately felt hot tears coming out and a dam breaking inside of me.

"I was playing a game on my game device when the power went out at my school. It flickered on and off a few times, and the next thing I know, my school things are gone, I'm left with nothing but my entertainment, and no food, water, shelter or any way of how to get home. You guys were the first ones I ran into," I sobbed, then gasped as I finished everything in one severely ragged breath.

"Okay. Let me see your arm," Jiraiya said, brining up my right arm to him. It was just then that I noticed that it had kanji on it. Although, for what, I had no idea.

"What does it mean?" I asked, terrified.

"Black void," he murmured. "Do you have any notions as to what it could mean? Can you summon?"

Summon? Of course! I had been playing Pokémon black when it happened! I was about to fiddle around with the Gym leader and re-challenge him and then go re-challenge the Elite Four!

"I…no…not that I can think of…" I murmured, but I plotted ahead in my mind. If I could get alone for a few hours, I could try to figure things out later. "I don't even know the hand signs for it. I don't even know how to make hand signs properly!"

"Alright. Get some rest. You'll need it."

Finally, things were getting good. I knew where they was headed, and how to stop it. For now. I knew that they were close to finding Tsunade, I could feel it, and where we found Tsunade, we'd find Orochimaru a week or so later.

* * *

I started writing this fanfic for an outlet, and it escalated. I wrote this because I was bored and lonely, and tired of living life alone with my parents and oldest of two brothers. My oldest brother, sadly, hates my obsession with Orochimaru, calling it "borderline insanity" and "unhealthy". True as both may be, I still love the both of them. My other brother still has no idea since he's been gone for two years almost.

But, I love my life and wouldn't change anything. I've updated this chapter, since a few of my kind readers have pointed out the flaws in what it had been before. Yes, that is truly why I wear glasses, and I gave that to her for that reason just because I can.

Don't worry about the summoning part, it becomes a major part in the sequel to this, and I know the whole thing is completely overrated, but I give it an interesting twist in the sequel, _Caduceus_.


	2. Sannin Showdown

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

I looked around me at the empty alleyway. The only other person (aside from Tsunade) nearby was the infamous Orochimaru, and I could feel his snake gaze on me. Oh, sweet mercy sakes, I thought I would melt from fear.

"And who, pray tell, is this, Tsunade?" Orochimaru growled as he glared at me.

"Someone Jiraiya picked up. Don't look at me – he's been keeping her on a short leash. She wanted to explore. Now hold out your arms so I can heal them," she ordered.

"Ah…Um…Tsunade-sama, who is this?" I asked as I gently tugged her shoulder, hesitantly glancing at Orochimaru.

"An old colleague of mine," she answered bluntly.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked as I went to hide behind Tsunade to smile. Oops – hadn't meant for that to slip out. Oopsie – I just messed up big-time. He would kill me for sure now.

There was an awkward silence that followed, broken by the snake himself.

"What did you just call me, _girl_?" he growled, and I cowered behind Tsunade.

"I- I'm sorry! I-What-I-!" I stammered, but he didn't hear me, as his rage grew more.

"Orochimaru," Tsunade growled, glaring at him. "This is Jiraiya's. Not mine. Harm one hair on her head, and he'll throw a fit. Besides – she already apologized for her mistake."

"S-sorry," I whimpered out once more, my knees giving out from under me.

Frick.

I put my head down in shame, and almost began sobbing in shame and humiliation. The one person who looked like he was almost perfect, and he had to be a sadistic (but freaking amazing and sexy) maniac.

"Very well. We shall see just how sorry she is," Orochimaru growled, and I felt my legs receive strength once more just from the sound of his voice. His voice, his smell, his sight – it was too intoxicating. I needed it, like a drug. And no, I'm not a drug addict. I hate drugs.

But this was one heck of an exception to make.

"I-I'm sorry," I whimpered as I approached him, and glanced hesitantly at his purple and useless arms, which were covered in pure white bandages, with a drop of red on one from where he'd bitten his finger to scare Tsunade.

"You'd better be," he growled, and put his foot on my stomach as if to kick me. Sadly, my breathing hitched up a few notches at being in such close proximity with him, and I almost started hyperventilating.

"Sarah, come here," Tsunade said firmly, but I barely heard her. I was too transfixed on the angelic demon before me with his foot on my gut.

"You should do as you're told," Orochimaru sneered.

"Only for you," I murmured quietly, and even I barely heard myself. But Orochimaru had as well. Thank heavens Tsunade didn't.

"Foolish girl. You don't even have the courage to take my foot off of you," he mocked, and I smiled.

Hesitantly, I took one hand, then the other to the ankle he had close to me. I held it in place as I stepped back, and raced over to Tsunade. I was now terrified, but wildly loving my adrenaline rush. I had just touched the king of snakes! And lived! I would have done a happy dance…

But Tsunade had walked forward to heal Orochimaru's arms. I knew what was coming and ran off towards the field that Orochimaru and Kabuto would flee to.

I followed Orochimaru as quickly as I could. Finally, I caught up to him, just after being able to stall Tsunade for a small amount of time.

"She'll nearly kill you! You need to get out of here! She'll become Hokage, and Naruto will get in the way again!" I blurted out, not realizing I could create a paradox of some sort.

"Prove it," Orochimaru scoffed.

"I promise – Naruto will use the Rasengan in the upcoming battle, you used the five prong seal on him in the forest of death right before giving Sasuke Uchiha the heaven curse mark, gave Mitarashi Anko one when she was a kid as a final lab rat, and wanted to kill the three orphans in Amegakure that will end up being the near destruction of Konoha," I rattled off, thinking of scenes with him in it. "You freed Yakushi Kabuto from Sasori no Akasuna's puppet jutsu, are a former Akatsuki member, one of the three Sannin – the most powerful by far, I can assure you – and are a wanted criminal with who knows how many aliases."

"As curious as I am to find out how you know this, that will have to wait. If she'll nearly kill me, then I'll just have to flee before it gets too bad, or ensure that she doesn't get her hands on me," Orochimaru growled, and I stared in shock. He'd listened? Holy cow! He'd listened! "Well? What on earth do you think you'll be doing in this time since it's obvious you can't fight?"

"Um… I don't know! You're the genius; I'm the one failing Western Civilization…Stupid Battershell…wait until I get my hands on that useless…" I growled, frustrated at my teacher's laziness.

"Battershell?" Kabuto asked worriedly as he joined us. "Who the hell is she?"

"Psychic of some sort. What's in the bag?" Orochimaru asked, glancing at my cerulean backpack.

"Um… my hygiene kit, entertainment, and clothes," I said, feeling awkward at the situation at hand. "Should we flee? I'm not the best fighter… although that title would have a 99% chance of going to Orochimaru-sama," I stammered.

"Quit trying to rub up to him. He's not going to fall in love anytime soon," Kabuto glared.

"I'm just trying to find a place to fit in! Good snakes, what is wrong with you, you dirty minded medic! Get your brain out of the gutters and out of your crotch!" I exclaimed, and then suddenly regretted it.

"She makes a point," Orochimaru murmured. "We're outnumbered two to one, not including the fact that brownie here can't fight."

"I can make up jutsu on the fly!" I suggested hopefully, and both otonin glared at me. "Okay, sorry, that was a bad idea…sorry…"

"Prove it," Kabuto retorted, and Orochimaru narrowed his eyes.

"We'll see just how well she can invent jutsu later, Kabuto. In the meantime, Sarah, was it?" Orochimaru piqued, and I nodded, honored that he was addressing me. Me! A failure! "Find somewhere safe – if you can."

"Yes, sir!" I saluted with my left arm and I suddenly realized. "Oh! Oh, I'm a dunce! I forgot! Hang on; what are the signs to summon?" I asked, and Kabuto stared at me in shock.

"You'll need to make these hand signs – in this order - Boar, Dog, Rooster, Monkey, Sheep," Orochimaru instructed as I followed his example of what to do with my fingers.

"Okay, boar, dog, rooster, monkey, sheep – got it. Ow!" I yelled in shock, tripping over something and causing a searing pain in my left ankle that I knew all too well. "I'll catch up!" I promised, and the two otonin didn't even glance back at me as I crawled into the underbrush.

As soon as I was sure that everyone had passed me by, I performed the required hand signs.

"Kuchiyose! The art of summoning!" I yelled excitedly, hoping and praying it would work.

_**! **_

I dropped to the ground immediately, not knowing what I'd done.

Suddenly, heat radiated above me, and I felt myself being lifted by a large, yet gentle, claw. Now the heat was below me. What in the-? I dared to take a peek and gasped.

Reshiram. My precious Reshi was below me. Holy crap. It worked.

"Wow," I murmured, then winced at my ankle. "Okay, I need to keep a low profile till the Sasuke retrieval arc shows up. Then I can thwart Orochimaru-sama's plans and have him all to myself. Okay, Reshi-chan, let's go! Uaah!"

Reshiram took flight, heading off in a direction that I had no idea where to go. We got near the clouds, and I winced in fear. I watched the Sannin showdown unfold from above, having already seen it in the Anime. As soon as Orochimaru disappeared, I panicked, and Reshi flew off once more, but not before Shizune took note of her. A few hours later, she (technically, Reshi was genderless, but I always called it a female) flew lower down to a couple of familiar – and addicting – forms.

"What'd I miss?" I asked, and Orochimaru and Kabuto's eyes widened in shock at the large white dragon beneath me. "What? Reshi-chan? Oh, I trained her myself. Took about twenty hours, too – and it took about three more to catch her."

_**GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**_

"Oh, what? It may have been three minutes to you, but it felt like hours, Reshi! I had to keep turning that off and on till I finally caved in and used a master ball on you! Pity I didn't get Zekrom as well… I could make Sasuke's chidori look like child's play, then…" I rambled.

"Wait, what?" Orochimaru leered, suddenly interested.

"Um…Zekrom can make Sasuke's chidori look like child's play?" I asked confused. "Oh. I don't have one of those. Reshi here is a fire and dragon. Fire attacks, she's game for it. Otherwise? Nah, probably not."

"There are more of these…things?" Kabuto asked, pointing at Reshiram.

"There're 649 to be exact. I've only got six in my arsenal right now. Here, I think you'll like the next one… boar, dog, rooster, monkey, sheep… Kuchiyose no Jutsu! Orochi!" I yelled, hoping that specifying would get me the Pokémon I wanted. Sure enough, it did, as a large serpent that was light green, with dark green out on the perimeter, and gold markings on its back and ears appeared.

_**SHREEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIKKKAH!**_

"Whoa, easy, boy! Easy, Orochi! It's me, mama! I got you in Nuvema Town, remember? Shh, big guy," I comforted him, gently putting my hand on his large nose, which was above me. Ah, how I loved my Serperior. I'd named him after a certain Sannin in front of me… but I wasn't about to tell either of them that.

"Orochi?" Orochimaru asked amused, and I blushed crimson.

"He's a giant snake and it means giant snake… it was the only thing I could think of that fit him," I murmured embarrassedly. "Besides, he's much more mean that he looks, aren't you?"

"The day that happens is the day you're allowed into Otogakure," Kabuto scoffed unbeleivingly.

"I believe that's Orochimaru-sama's decision, but suit yourself. Okay, Orochi, Leer, Leaf Tornado, Leaf Blade, and Slam, in that order!" I rattled off, and the giant snake immediately went to work on Kabuto. He glared at Kabuto (whose pants suddenly became darker in the front), paralyzing The Sound Five (who had just approached to protect Orochimaru), and causing Orochimaru to flinch slightly and lick his lips in delight.

"Welcome to Otogakure, my dear. I look forward to meeting your other…_pets_," Orochimaru smirked.

"Thank you for permitting me to stay, Orochimaru-sama. It's an honor," I told him truthfully as I bowed lowly, then switched to kneeling out of respect. "Thanks, Reshi-chan, Orochi-kun. You two can go home now," I told my Pokémon, and they glared at Kabuto before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Suddenly exhausted of chakra, I felt the ground rush up to meet me the rest of the way.

* * *

Pokemon in the fanfic are as follows in order:

Name: Reshi Species: Reshiram Level 78 Met at Level 50, N's castle Moves: Slash, Dragon Breath, Extrasensory, Fusion Flare Ability: Turbo blaze- moves used regardless of ability

Name: Orochi Species: Serperior Level: 36 Met at Level 5, Nuvema Town, gift from Pro. Juniper Moves: Leer, Leaf Tornado, Leaf Blade, and Slam Ability: Overgrow – ups grass moves a pinch


	3. Otogakure

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

I awoke in a large bed, a pulse monitor attached to one arm, and a drink with medicines off to my right on a nightstand. Wow – nice hospitality.

"Nice to see you awake again, shit-bag," Tayuya grinned. Yay, a cussing roommate – just what I always needed.

"Thanks. You must be Tayuya – I've heard of you from…"I swallowed, not wanting to give away my secret.

"Jackass four-eyes? Or Orochimaru-sama?" she asked.

"Four eyes," I croaked out, my throat parched. I yanked the glass and put it down again. "Meds?"

"Already in the tea," Tayuya retorted as she left.

"But I can't drink tea. Oh, well. Mom will kill me, but who cares!" I said as I glugged down the tea. "Blegh! I guess I shouldn't complain since the best medicines are always the most bitter."

"Well, now, I've heard that phrase somewhere before," Kabuto said walking in with a smirk plastered on his face. "Used up all your chakra, I daresay. Orochimaru-sama ended up giving you a bit of his to keep you alive. You should feel honored."

"Every minute in Otogakure is an honor, Kabuto-san," I said with a nod of respect. I admit, I kind liked him, and I needed to stay on his good side since he was backup number one. "Is Orochimaru-sama alright? Has he made the transfer?"

"You know about that? How?" Kabuto growled his knife immediately at my throat.

"Kabuto," Orochimaru growled as he walked in, shutting the door behind him. "That's enough. I do believe it's _far past _the time you gave us an explanation."

The only prompting I needed was his words, but the bloodlust in his chakra worked quite well just as an addition. So, without further prompting, I explained everything and anything I knew. I even explained how their lives were an Anime, but it was based around Naruto, so I got away with not knowing most of their lives. I even explained the Manga volumes, the electronics in my backpack, and the relation between my electronic game and my summoning.

"Well, this makes perfect sense," Orochimaru murmured in interest.

"Really? I can't make heads or tails of it," Kabuto murmured.

"I can't either," I admitted sheepishly. "I'm a dunce, though. Probably not much use in a fight outside of my summonings."

"Kabuto, you are not to harm her. Sarah, you have five seconds to give me one good excuse to let you stay in Otogakure – aside from your summoning pacts," Orochimaru growled.

"Um…" I stammered, not expecting to deal with something like this. "I can tell what's going to happen in some instances. Like with Sasuke – I know what'll happen in the end, and it's not pretty. _At all_. Um, I know what'll happen to Kabuto if that happens, and I know what'll happen to you as well. Unless we can change the course of time, then create some sort of paradox to stop all this crap from happening," I rambled, desperate to stall for time. "And I know a way to get the Sharingan without having to steal Sasuke's body – I've got a better route to take. One that has only five percent chance of backfiring on you and more chances for more Sharingan."

"What's all this about an alternate route to the Sharingan? I'm curious," Orochimaru purred in my ear.

"Easy – we - I mean you – I mean Kabuto, or um… get some random chick with no kekke genkai pregnant with Sasuke's kid, then raise it as an otonin. If we keep it away from Sasuke, it'll grow up to be loyal, and won't question your motives when you go to take over its body. Or you can get multiple females pregnant and have multiple Uchiha to use as backups and more hosts," I suggested, terrified of his lips on my jaw.

"How interesting. Kabuto, I think Sarah makes a good point. The more Uchiha clan members we have, the more Sharingan we have. Hm…I've decided to let you stay. Now the question rises of what to do with you?" He smirked.

"Ah! I'll do anything, as long as it doesn't involve becoming an experiment! I'll clean the hideout and morgue! I'll help Kabuto with the patients! I'll –!"

"Shut it!" Kabuto snapped, and I clammed up. Ooh, I was scared. I'd never felt such radiating bloodlust in the room – or anywhere else, for that matter.

"Hm…An interesting choice of words," Orochimaru commented, "You will become my apprentice."

"S-sir?" Kabuto stammered shocked at what was going on. Truth be told, my ears heard it, but my brain hadn't processed it yet.

"Silence, Kabuto. You promised anything, and I'll give you anything. You are to be my apprentice and… a spy. You'll be spying on Naruto-kun for a while," Orochimaru purred. "After I train you a bit more, however. Come by the dojo once you're finished in here. And you are forbidden to touch her where a bathing suit would cover her," he growled at Kabuto.

I stared in shock. Apprentice and spy for Orochimaru? Oh, this was perfect! Life was perfect! But who would I apprentice aside from the Snake Sannin himself? Jiraiya, maybe.

"I'm going to need that 'laptop', as you called it," Kabuto said, blushing beet red.

"B-but... it's all I have my stories on..." I whined, thinking of the three novels, two unfinished crossovers, and four fanfics on my flash drive. "Besides, it has to stay plugged in or it'll shut down randomly."

"I'll keep that in mind. Anything else you'd like me to know?" Kabuto said, putting a hand on one hip.

"Um... there are storage devices you can use... but I've only got two with me," I said pulling out two flash drives. "The red one has my stories; the black one has my music."

"I'll be sure to figure this out. Now, is there anything ELSE you'd like to tell me? Like how you got that summoning?"

"I already told you that one. Now if you'll excuse me, Orochimaru-sama told me to go to the dojo as soon as I gave you that," I said as I booted up my laptop and typed in the password for him.

"Chibi then the number two? What the hell?"

"It's a nickname a friend of mine gave me," I retorted, flitting off to join the Sannin. After analyzing a few things that the other two Sannin, Naruto, and Shizune had all done, I would be able to recreate their jutsu, with some luck. I guess that's why Orochimaru wanted me as his apprentice.

"Welcome to the dojo. I assume you've learned doppelgangers and tree climbing, yes?" he asked, and I nodded bashfully. Holy cow, he was hot. I would probably never get over it. Ever.

"Sorry – Kabuto didn't want to let me go. What am I to learn, Orochimaru-sama?" I asked.

"What you saw Jiraiya perform. You're going to walk me through it, and then once I perfect it, you are to regurgitate the procedure until you also perfect it," he said simply, and I froze, my instinct right on the mark.

"I-I'm not sure how he did it, sir. I remember Naruto breaking a water balloon with his chakra, but it got all lumpy and spiky first. He called it 'The Fourth's Legacy Jutsu'. The enemy Jiraiya used it on went flying in a spiral motion," I recalled, looking back on when Jiraiya had used the Rasengan to protect Naruto and their budgets.

"I see," he huffed, clearly not impressed. I couldn't just tell him that I knew every jutsu Naruto would learn, that just wasn't fair and would throw things so out of proportion I'd create an alternate reality, and I _really _wanted to keep things as on-track as possible.

"Um…the balloon got all spiky, and I think he was spinning the chakra in all directions, but I'm not sure."

"Is there a photo in one of those blasted books of yours?" Orochimaru asked, and I suddenly snapped alert.

"I – I think he said something else about agitating your chakra and keeping a steady flow… I asked him what the three stages were, and he told me. Water balloon, rubber ball, and then performing it, but I 'm not sure what he meant," I said, and Orochimaru smiled.

"Well, I think I know what he's talking about now. Let's see… ah, here it is," Orochimaru smiled as he pulled a head out of a scroll. He smirked as he used his chakra network to cause it to pop like Jiraiya had the balloon.

'That's so wrong,' I thought as I stared at the remains in his hand and on him. "Eyew," I said with a shake. I couldn't help it – that was so wrong.

"I'm surprised you aren't vomiting," Kabuto grinned as he walked in.

"Go out and get us some water balloons and rubber balls, Kabuto. Go on - Out," Orochimaru ordered, and Kabuto obeyed. "This lesson is between you, and me, Sarah. Now, do you see what I did?"

"Swirled it in multiple directions, right? But I can't even walk on water yet!" I protested, and he smirked.

"Then you'd best get started, neh?"

"Yes, sir," I sighed, and created an army of doppelgangers. I sent some off to work on the water technique, and others to work on the Rasengan with me.

"You have three days for the first stage, five for the second, and a week for the third. That should be more than enough time," Orochimaru sneered nastily, and I now realized why everyone hated him. "Now get to work."

For three hours we trained in silence, and I thought back at what I'd seen in volume seventeen. I began using my other hand to get it done, and at the end of the third hour, I heard Orochimaru call me out.

"We have an escaped prisoner. Perhaps a little demonstration would suffice, no?" he grinned as the escapee turned the corner. I stood and watched in horror as Orochimaru pushed a full-fledged Rasengan out on the man.

"W-wow…" I murmured, more disgusted than anything. I guess I'd still have to get used to it. "Have you ever – never mind."

"Killed a man in cold blood? I just did," Orochimaru smirked.

"No, not that. I've done something you haven't," I grinned, and he leered, his right hand twitching, creating another rasengan. "My brother almost killed me when he took the SUV off the road at one hundred miles an hour. I think that's like… one hundred sixty kilometers in an hour."

"Really? And how, pray tell, did you survive?" Orochimaru piqued, honestly interested in the story. I led him back to the dojo and told him the entire thing as I focused on destroying the one balloon I had.

"I actually ended up cussing and screaming at him and having a nervous breakdown," I laughed. "But, it was worth it. He'd almost killed me; I'd almost got him arrested. Truth be told, I walked away with more damage than he did, and I'd crawled over him in my attempt to get out!"

"Broken arm, eh? I'm not surprised," Orochimaru smirked.

"Actually, no. all I had was two cuts on my left hand," I corrected, and his eyes widened. "Seat belts hold you into the seat in times like that. Besides, I was gripping mine so hard it bruised my gut! But it kept me safe, so I'm just happy to be alive!"

"Now you've got me curious… what's your favorite day of the year?" he grinned, and I blushed.

"Halloween," I admitted shyly. "I love dressing up like one of the anime characters or like a dunce so nobody will recognize me! That and I am a chocoholic."

"Remind me to never give you sugar," he murmured. "Speaking of which… what are your plans for the future? Surely you've got some reason for living?"

"Ah! Um…that's kind of embarrassing…" I laughed, not wanting to admit I was obsessed with him.

"Orochimaru-sama! A word," Kabuto called out. Orochimaru joined his medic, and I realized I'd left my entire backpack with Kabuto. Oh well - he'd figure it out anyways.

"What did you find?" Orochimaru asked, and Kabuto beckoned him away. As Oro went inside, I sighed in defeat. Three days to master the walk on water technique and the Rasengan, but I'd managed to get the tree climbing technique down while Naruto worked on his Rasengan.

"Sarah," Orochimaru growled from behind me as I continued to try the Rasengan.

"Yes, sir? Can I help? Is something wrong? Is my chakra level off?" I rattled, terrified of his wrath.

"You failed to mention the little orange books with that Kyuubi brat's name on it. And why would you have a number of...interesting documents in your flash drive."

Oh crap. Oh shiz. I was dead now.

"I...didn't want you to get mad at me…" I murmured, facing the floor.

"Hm…I think you're afraid of me. Or…" Orochimaru yanked my jaw upwards, and bit down – _hard_.

I couldn't help but let out a cry of pain and shock. He'd just given me a hickey! The man I admired most just bit me! If I'd died and gone to heaven, don't try to revive me!

"You're mine," he growled, and I curled up in a ball as best I could. I could barely breathe, but something wasn't right. I was warm, too warm. And wet. Uh-oh.

"Can't-breathe!" I choked out, and he let go, dragging me by my hair to his bedroom. Slapping me, he loomed over me, almost like a rapist.

Although my friends would argue that it's not rape if you're willing – which was going to be partially true if it happened now – I was still scared out of my mind.

"You are to stay in here until I summon you. Do you understand?" he growled, and I nodded silently. "kukuku…good. And for the record…" he cut off, shoving his tongue down my throat. I gasped and sputtered, panicking like a fish out of water. "You're mine," he purred into my ear, and I began breathing heavily, my hormones rising by the minute. "I suggest you get control of your hormones _before_ someone decided to rape you," he suggested as he walked out.

"Not my fault you're a sexy-as-heck snake-nin," I retorted once he'd left. I vaguely heard the shower turn on, and was extremely tempted to go sneak a peek, but I shook my head in disgust at my own behavior.

I heard fighting as I explored Orochimaru's room, my gaze lingering on his Akatsuki ring. Right as I finished exploring, I vaguely heard a door opening somewhere, and another voice yelling angrily, and then screaming in terror.

The war amongst the inmates must have just concluded. I raced to the bed to sit down where he'd been before, and he walked in. He looked entirely different, but my heart suddenly decided to make a race between it and a hummingbird's wings.

"Ugh…" he sighed, laying on the bed next to me. "Sarah…"

"Sir? Would you like water? Medicine? Another blanket?" I fretted, hoping he didn't ask for the one thing I was scared of.

"You," he murmured. He reached out, and yanked me to lie on top of him.

Oh yeah. Mom was gonna kill me.

"Orochimaru-sama," I panicked, but he held me down.

"You're mine," he reminded me wearily, and I took my glasses off and put them on his nightstand so I could lay my head on his chest. "Kukuku…how easily you are swayed, child…"

"Only for you," I murmured, and he was suddenly on top of me.

"Your body wants it, but your mind and heart do not," he murmured, and I realized he was talking intimately.

"I-no. I can't do this," I gasped, wanting, yet despising, his masculinity. "M-My mother would kill me – literally!"

"Then stay here where you are safe," he retorted, and I realized what was going on and how I could get home.

"Wait…Space Rift…that's it!" I crowed, realizing that maybe my Palkia could help me get home. Not that I wanted to.

"You aren't going back to your room until you spend the night with me," he growled.

"I…alright, but…will you promise me something?" I asked, knowing he might just break it.

"What?"

"I…can't lose my virginity until I get married. That's the laws of my country – our parents are free to kill us if we disobey it. Please, please, don't…" I begged, and he licked my throat.

"I think that you're the one with your mind in the gutters, now, Sarah-_chan_. Given the circumstances, though, it is quite…pleasing…to hear your heartbeat and begging," he smirked, and I arched my back as I felt his blood racing through his veins.

"Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto said with a knock.

"Damn. You'll be sharing a bedroom with me from now on, little one. Remember that," he purred, and squeezed me tightly against his large body. I bit down on my lip to keep from whimpering.

I nodded silently in terror and tried to keep the tears from coming to my eyes, and he licked my throat. It was terrifying, intoxicating, and sickening all at once.

"Kabuto can wait," he purred as if sensing a thought that was just barely forming in my head.

"Sir, please," I pled, desperate to not yet lose my virginity.

"Please what?" he whispered, and I cringed. I wanted so desperately to say a number of things, but I didn't quite want to say what I was about to.

"K-kabuto wouldn't interrupt you unless it was important," I pled, my hormones raging. Oh, crapadoodle. I was now officially screwed over.

"We shall see, Sarah," he whispered as I felt my world go black from when he pushed a pressure point in my neck.

.

.

.

I rolled over, more than comfortable in this bed. I could feel someone next to me, so I hesitantly opened my eyes. And received the shock of a lifetime.

I had slept in Orochimaru's bed with him and hadn't lost my virginity.

"Welcome to the waking world," Kabuto glared, and I turned over onto my back to face him. "You didn't lose your virginity last night, although I dare say he wanted to very badly. Be careful with your hormones – his new body doesn't have good control over his."

"I'll keep that in mind," I murmured, and Orochimaru's eyes snapped open as he assaulted me relentlessly with his mouth on my neck.

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said as he stepped forward. The Snake Sannin growled menacingly, clutching me closer to him, his tongue once again in the darkest recesses of my mouth. "Sir, your hormones…"

"Fine," he spat, and got out of bed. I lay there, too stunned to move, until he yanked me out to join him.

"Ah!" I said, blushing terrified of going into the same shower as him.

"Ugh…another law in your country?" Orochimaru sighed, and I nodded bashfully. "I relented on the first one, but not this one, damn it! Kabuto!"

"S-sir?" Kabuto said confused.

"You're going to perform a wedding," Orochimaru sneered, and I gulped in fear.

* * *

Yay! Wedding bells!


	4. Writing on the Walls

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

Orochimaru had put all training on hold until the wedding was over for who-else-knew why. I, of course, disobeyed and continued working on the second stage of the Rasengan training. It had now been four months since he'd done so, and quite a few of the Sound Shinobi were commenting that he was more short-tempered than ever and was acting quite oddly, as though he constantly had a sour taste in his mouth. I already knew for a fact that it was because of the position that he and I had put each other in.

"Sarah, honestly, if Orochimaru-sama wanted to put your training on hold, he wouldn't have done so!" Guren spat. Orochimaru had called her out of hiding to protect me, and I was busy with the Rasengan, so I didn't care. "It's bad enough that he decided to let you get married. Although, I'm curious as to who the unlucky bastard is. I pity him."

"Him," I retorted, finally creating the full-fledged Rasengan. "Yes! Finally!"

"What about – oh, no… you can't honestly mean that Orochimaru-sama would honestly choose _you_ to be his wife? Hah! Don't make me laugh," she mocked, and I flinched at her cruel words. "He's only using you for the jutsus and the sex!"

I walked off to work on the water-walking technique while trying to hold back tears, but I didn't care about anything like that anymore. I channeled my chakra into my feet, and hesitantly stepped out onto the water. Out of nowhere, a large crystal appeared and then created large waves. I couldn't keep my balance, and fell into the hot waters of the natural hot springs I'd discovered a few days before. The surface became pink crystal, and I panicked, unable to breathe. I knew it was Guren, angry at the revelation I'd given her, but I didn't care anymore – well, almost. The one reason I had for living had just been questioned down to my core, and I didn't like it at all.

"No…" I gurgled out, and closed my eyes to prepare for death, picturing the man who'd spared my life and saved it. The one I was hopelessly obsessed with and going to marry in a few days' time. The one who I was in love with even though he terrified the crap out of me.

"Breathe," I heard him order trhough the darkness. "Breathe!"

"She can't," I heard Guren say, right as yellow dots went into my vision that were the exact color of Orochimaru's eyes.

"Leave! If it weren't for your kekke genkai, I'd be killing you for that!" I heard Orochimaru yell angrily, and I heard Guren's footsteps recede as she began cursing me out. Could it be...?

"She's sucked in a lot of water, Orochimaru-sama. She'll live, if we can get her breathing," I heard Kabuto say. So much for me dying.

"Damn it, Sarah, breathe!" I heard Orochimaru order as he pushed down cruelly on my chest. I didn't want to, but I coughed up the offending water, and began breathing once more.

"Oro…chi…"I croaked in realization that this was real, and he ran his hand through my wet hair. I dimly realized that we were both soaking wet.

"Hush, pet. Kabuto, get us some dry clothes. Now," he ordered, and Kabuto also vanished. "What were you thinking? You could have died!" he growled.

"I wanted to train some more on the walk on water technique since you put the Rasengan training on hold. I wanted to get away from Guren since she…she…" I croaked, then became silent as tears began to flow down my face.

"Do not cry, it's a sign of weakness," he snapped, but this only made my crying turn into sobbing and worsen.

He remained still, not being used to being put on the spot like this. After a few minutes, he began petting my back hesitantly, then more steadily and it became rubbing as he grew accustomed to helping me.

"But I don't understand! Why would you care about me?" I asked in desperation, loneliness and sorrow through the sobs.

"But I need you to be more careful next time. I already lost one woman to a talentless idiot. You're the only other one to have captured my heart. Even Anko couldn't," he smirked. "She was worthless to me, nothing. Tsunade was Tsunade – I loved her, until she went with Dan. When he died, I knew she would never recover. But you – you're pure, innocent, and a natural genius like me. All you have to do is stay by me, and I'll make sure you never die," he soothed, although his words pierced like a sword through my chest.

"Is that all I am to you? A tool for sex and jutsus?" I asked hurt, looking him in the eyes.

"No," he growled, clenching a fist in anger. "Is that what Guren said to you?"

I nodded, my throat hurting more than ever.

"Sarah, I wouldn't have agreed to marry you if I didn't love you," he murmured into my ear, and I began wailing onto his chest. I needed to vent, and this was the quickest way. "I love you, and I will never, let anything happen to you, you little prodigy."

Prodigy? Did he just call me a prodigy? Holy cow, I think I just died and went to heaven in that water. Well, I could still smell him and hear his heartbeat, so I guessed I'd fainted.

"Well? How is she?" I heard Orochimaru ask.

"She'll be alright. She's just tired. Give her a few hours, she'll be fine, I can assure you. I got some medicine into her bloodstream – a relaxant for stress, and some herbs for sore muscles and water damage," Kabuto reported. "Truth be told, I wouldn't be surprised if she can hear you right now."

"Good. Make sure that Guren never comes near her again, will you?" I heard my monster, my savior, command. I heard receding footsteps once more. I could feel him lift me up gently, and feel his warm, firm hands peeling my wet clothing off of me. I could tell he was behind me as he changed me, but it felt strangely good.

He snaked his tongue up my legs, but stopped at about the halfway point between my hips and knees. Yikes. At least he had self control now. That was a plus. I lay there, as still as could be, his every touch bringing pure ecstasy into my dark void. I dared to open my eyes and instantly regretted it almost.

So much for my innocence.

"Nnng…" I murmured, trying not to vomit at what I'd seen. He was more than amazing – he was everything I could have dreamt of and better! I heard him dress quickly and race to my side.

"Sarah," he said gently, and my vision came in and out of focus onto his face and golden orbs.

"Sexy," I moaned out, meaning to say 'snakes'.

"You saw," he said.

"Perfect," I murmured, nuzzling his hand with my cheek.

"You saw, didn't you?" he growled, and I hesitantly nodded.

"Not all of it – only a blur," I said truthfully. But, alas, I could still make out the outlines on him, so I knew what was what.

"Well, then, you've managed to keep your innocence after all, you naughty girl," he crooned, and my breathing hitched up again.

I was just about to reply when I fell victim to some syndromes that almost every ninja is terrified of. Dreams of memories. Memories unwanted – very unwanted. My head felt like it was on fire, so I let myself fall asleep once more.

My brothers were at a gravesite, my parents and cousins alongside them, and quite a few of my friends were there. Even Zoe and Jazmin were there, their friendship rekindled by my death, which I never thought possible. I flinched, and found a person who stood out from the others, murmuring things that most others wouldn't. One of my college classmates had come to pay respects, and even quite a few of my old teachers from high school and such had. I was, in a way, attending my own funeral.

I watched as my classmates completed my eulogy, and a few of my church leaders also gave their own versions. I vaguely heard someone make lyrics to the Song of Storms from legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, then morph it into the Nocturne of Shadows from the same game, and finally into River Flows in You from Twilight. At the burial, as the clan was gathered around the casket, I heard them sing a different song, one that I'd sung frequently throughout my childhood.

My Heavenly Father Loves Me. That song, in its entire simplicity, was what I needed to hear in that moment. It calmed my aching heart, and warmed me to the core. I knew I was missed, but I couldn't go back. Not now that I'd finally gotten what I'd never been able to in their world.

I could barely hear Kabuto and Orochimaru talking about me, but I shoved it away as I watched them bury an empty casket. I watched my mother sobbing, and my teachers were all in mourning. Heck, the school had even set up a shrine dedicated to me. My friends from the Fayetteville Public library were also sobbing their hearts out, the librarians and youth alike, and there was one in particular that I noticed was missing: Josh, my phsyco stalker. No surprise there. Then I realized where he was – hiding in the back, a knife in hand.

I looked around once more, and branched out to find what someone else was doing. Hotspur, the only male librarian, was manning the Children's Desk at the library, and I gently typed something up on his computer.

_I'm alive. In the Naruto world. Getting married soon. Miss you all lots. - Renate/Sarah_

"Oh my god," I heard him murmur, and he instantly texted Shay and Kena, who were at my funeral. I'd tell them later at Anime club. They'd figure it out.

I dimly realized it was the second Monday, and everyone was at Anime Club to mourn my passing after the funeral was over. Nobody was behind the pulpit, and I cracked my knuckles to get ready to type. Kaitlyn and Jennifer screamed as I began typing the message that I'd given Hotspur.

_I'm alive. In the Naruto world. Marrying Orochimaru soon. Sasuke's in the Sound, but he won't be killing anyone anytime soon. I'm glad nobody came with me – I'm a mess! I was right – Snake is the one for me, and holy crap is he protective of me! Miss you all lots. I'll visit when I can, I promise. He'll probably let me once I've mastered the Rasengan. Yes, I stole some jutsus from Jiraiya and have been using my knowledge of the Naruto-verse to my advantage. Keep up your amazing lives, my totally amazing (and hyperactive) friends! - Renate/Sarah PS. Don't let Might Guy get under your skin. He's gay._

The club stared in horror as I typed my message with flying fingers. I'd always been a fast typer, but now that I was weaving hand signs like crazy and working on my finger speed, I'd typed the message in a minute flat. They all stared, and Kena spoke up first.

"Sarah? You're- here?" she asked hesitantly, and I typed a '_yes, in spirit. I'm asleep, so I can travel, apparently. I can summon my Pokémon team from Black version! Orochimaru fell in love with my Serperior and Reshiram. They're the only reason I'm still alive right now, and probably what swayed him into marrying me...'_

"Are you okay?" Zoe asked protectively. _Fine, just wore out. One otonin tried to kill me via drowning, but Orochimaru-sama dove in and rescued me. He even resuscitated me! His lips are strangely warm, his hands firm, but holy snakes, he knows how to save a girl's life!_

"He – gave you mouth to mouth?" Jazmin stammered out. _Yup. Felt great! He even went to _– I hit backspace, not wanting to corrupt the preteens' innocence. _He even had Kabuto get me some dry clothes to change into, and stayed by my side the whole time._

"Wow, how…romantic…for a villain…" Katlynn stammered. _I know some of you don't know who I'm talking about, but trust me – he's worth staying in this world for. I miss you all a lot, but it's better than going back and failing my college classes. There's no way I'm coming back till summer!_

"What jutsus have you learned?" Makayla asked. _Doppelgangers, tree climbing – no hands! – and I almost got the walk on water, till Guren screwed me up with her attempted murder. Let's see, I got summoning down, I can perform a few basic snake ones, courtesy of Orochimaru, who has so graciously taken me on as an apprentice, and I managed to learn the one that allows you to shed your skin without dying to heal yourself. I haven't mastered that one, though. Sensei says to give it a few more years to let my chakra mature some more._

"So, Orochimaru's really your Sensei? How'd you pull that off?" Josh scoffed, and I glared at him. _Go to Manda. See if I care. But, to answer your question, he made the transfer, I explained all my circumstances about finding him, and showed him Reshiram. He took me on saying that he could make me more powerful than him, on the condition that I never turn on him. I obviously swore on my life that I wouldn't, and he sealed the deal by biting me on my neck. _

"He gave you a hickey?" half the club gawked. _Yes. What of it? He's a virgin, I see nothing wrong with it._

"Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong? He could have been using that to give you a curse mark!" Zoe objected. Suddenly, a second screen came up in the internet browser, translating from Japanese to English. Oh, oh. I knew what was coming. _He's gotten into my head. He'll be using Google translate to communicate with you guys. It's not very good though._

_What, my translation skills? Or your friends' translation skills? Speaking of which, one of them has a knife in his sleeve. Bronze hair and glasses. The one you nicknamed "Phsyco Stalker" in your Sophomore year, if I'm correct._

_Joshua Spann, I'm going to hit you with a Rasengan if you don't drop that knife. Don't test me – I will. Wait, how did you know about that?_

_I would listen to her if I were you, boy. She's already killed a man. You explained why you were afraid of boys to Kabuto, remember? I was listening behind the door. _

_One of these days….Ah, forget it. Besides that, the man was trying to rape me! What was I supposed to do, let him?_

_Scream out for me to help would have worked. Your Rasengan was horribly performed, might I add. Your kerei kurai has already been pushed to enough limits. That is part of why I make our wedding plans currently and put your training on hold._

_I love you. You know that, right?_

_And I, you. As for the love bite – that was in no way intended to be a curse mark. Sarah is one of the few people I refuse to give one to. I'm not going to corrupt that little ball of… energy. Has an almost endless supply, too – until she's half dead. then she's depleted. Which reminds me, you need to wake up. We've things to do today, young lady._

"Wait, did you just say that you _love_ her?" Zoe, Jazmin, Mykayla, Arron, Bradley and Kena gawked in disbelief.

_Yes. Why else would I agree to marry her?_

_For the sex,_ I typed while Zoe said it aloud.

_Why did you have to listen to Guren, Sarah-chan? And for the love of snakes, get your mind out of the gutters! I don't care if you look like a Tsunade miniature with black hair; get it out of the bloody gutters!_

_She's the one who toughened me up to the level I was at when you found me, you know._

…_We're leaving. Come, Sarah. We've got training to do._

_Bye guys! See you next summer!_

I opened my eyes to find Orochimaru's fingers on my forehead, peering into my mind.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" I asked, and he smirked.

"Interesting choice of company that you kept. As long as you don't shower or bathe, you'll look like you wandered to Konoha. Now get going, and don't forget to work on the Rasengan," he teased, and I nodded an affirmative.

* * *

Dimension Transfer will come in later on, I promise.


	5. Operation Infiltrate

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

I smiled as I got the Rasengan right at last, in front of Orochimaru, who always seemed to make me so nervous that I screwed up at almost anything and everything. Still, I decided to be like Naruto and just laugh it off. Orochimaru had accompanied me, and I smiled as I performed it a second, then third time. I'd managed to get it faster than Naruto! I'd mastered it in a little over a week, from the beginning of stage one, to the end of stage three. It had taken Naruto a couple weeks to do so!

Maybe I was a prodigy after all.

"How much longer?" I frowned as my stomach growled loudly in complaint.

"A few more hours and you'll reach the border of the Konoha ANBU areas. Be careful – if they send in Morino Ibiki, sing like a bird, with the exception of your meeting me. If they send in Inoichi Yamanaka, turn his jutsu on himself like I taught you. If they send in Anko…well, all you'll have to do is taunt her about being my student, and you'll be fine," he smirked. He knew Anko hated his name with a passion.

"Right. Anything else, sir?" I asked excited, and his smirk became a crooked smile that would have melted my legs if I hadn't gotten somewhat used to it.

"Don't die," he murmured, and pressed his lips against mine. They were extremely warm, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his silky hair. "Don't disappoint me. I'll meet you at Tanzaku in three weeks' time, pet."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama," I said, and raced off towards Konoha. Right as I saw the gates, three ANBU appeared to take me prisoner. "Afternoon, gents. I came here on orders from Jiraiya-sama. Something about alerting Lord Third Hokage to Orochimaru's activities."

"He's dead," one said, and I flinched. I should have known that lie wasn't going to work. Oh well. "We have a new Hokage. State your message and get lost."

"I'm afraid that that's for the Hokage's ears only," I stated with a snort. One led me to the Hokage office, and I wasn't at all shocked to find Tsunade behind the desk – I just acted like it.

"Where have you been? Do you realize that I was about to send Jiraiya to hunt you down?" she glared.

"What's today's date?" I asked, and she looked at me skeptically. "Sasuke's going to try to join Orochimaru. We need to keep an eye on him."

"Thanks for the warning," Tsunade said, and nodded towards the ANBU to track Sasuke down. I knew he was probably already on the way, but I could still put a wrench in Orochimaru's plans, if only for his benefit.

"No problem. It's the least I can do. Speaking of which, did Naruto-san win that bet?" I asked, pointing at where her necklace had been before, already knowing everything up until Shippuden episode 117 – where I'd quit watching because of school life being too hectic. Among other things.

"Yes," she moaned. "and speaking of which, you never answered my question."

"I tried to find you guys, but you must have gone on ahead. I found Tanzaku a few days ago, and headed straight here as fast as I could while getting lost. Is everything okay?" I asked, and two Chunin burst in.

"Lady Hokage! Uchiha Sasuke is gone!" they blurted, and I flinched in fear. Gone – I was too late. That made everything ten times worse. At least I'd had the forewarning to alert Orochimaru to the Sound Five's untimely demise – if he'd heeded it.

"You're a little too late, Sarah. Sorry, but we'll have to send you off to the interrogation squad. Anko!" she called, and a jonin came in. One that held the same position as me as a student of Orochimaru, and I grinned in excitement. Ooh, this was going to be fun racking her brains.

"You called?" she asked, and I put my hand on her wrist to stop her from taking the dango on Tsunade's plate. "What the-?"

"The one you're supposed to be interrogating. Sarah, answer any questions Anko has, understand?" she said, and I nodded. I gathered I was supposed to do as was told. I'd infiltrated just fine – it was the jutsus that would be hard to get now. I knew Anko knew ones from Orochimaru, and also that Kakashi had been taught by the Fourth Hokage, so the latter was a better bet for new Jutsus.

"So, Anko-san, is Orochimaru-sama doing well?" I asked, making good conversation on our way down the main strip.

I immediately found myself against a wall.

"If you so much as breathe that name again, I'll kill you," she growled, bloodlust radiating in her chakra.

"Anko!" a blonde approached us, Ino-pig by his side. "So, this is the newcomer, eh? Let's get her into interrogation, then." Apparently we were at the Yamanaka Flower shop.

"You won't have to go into my mind. I'll tell you anything you need to know," I told them, only halfway telling the truth.

"Alright, then. What's the color of my bra?" Anko asked as we got into the station, and I grinned.

"You're not wearing one, and you don't wear panties either. Oh, and you have a relationship with Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi, and Yakushi Kabuto," I retorted, and felt myself get thrown into the cell.

"Anko, knock it off!" Inoichi said roughly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I'd like to see you make me," she snarled, and I curled up in a ball to hide. I was a ninja now, yes, but I was still terrified. The only temper tantrums I wasn't scared of as of late was Kabuto and Orochimaru-sama's. "This kid is one wrong word away from dying."

"Jiraiya-sama said to tell you hi," I piped up, hoping it would save me.

"Don't lie to me!" she said as she backhanded me. I lay still, then curled up in a ball facing the corner to hide my tears. Orochimaru had always told me to hide my weaknesses. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Boar, Dog, Rooster, Monkey, Sheep – Kuchiyose no Jutsu! Lucifer!" I said, and in a puff of smoke, a human-like, purple with spikes on its back, Pokémon appeared. "Now, Lucifer! Hex!" within seconds, Anko was down on the floor, her curse mark throbbing and glowing, its marks proceeding onto her face.

"H-how?" she growled, and Lucifer let out a low warning growl. Epic-ness of a Gengar, right in front of me.

_**GRRUUUUUAAAAAUUUUR! **_

Translation: Don't touch my owner or I'll kill you!

"Thanks for the save, Lu," I said petting him on the head. "For the record, I was around with Naruto when he asked Tsunade-sama to be the Hokage. We were running from some pale guy, and I sprained my ankle and tripped. I was found by Jiraiya-sama a few days later and was told to come to Konoha. I've had this summoning for as long as I can remember. He's the only friend I've got aside from Jiraiya-sama and Naruto-san."

"Prove it," Inoichi said, putting his hand on my mind. I could feel him invading, but I quickly performed the task that Orochimaru-sama had taught me, reversing the jutsu on the Yamanaka clan member, and causing him to collapse.

"Well, I'm screwed," I said once Anko helped Inoichi outside. "Thanks again, Lucifer. You can go now."

_**GGrrrrrgggggg….**_ He whined, frowning for once. He put a paw up on my forehead, and invaded my mind. I saw things from his point of view – Inoichi trying to pry, Anko being violent, and me being complient.

"Thank you for worrying, but I've got this now," I said gently, and he nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, that's mommy's big boy," I crooned as Ibiki walked in. Oh, I was in trouble now. "On second thought, Lucifer, stay with me. I don't want to be left alone with Scarhead here."

"Alright, you. Who do you think you are?" he asked, and I screwed up my face.

"Messenger for Jiraiya-sama? Why?" I asked, scared.

"Uh-huh. And yet you show up _after _your message is null and void," he growled.

"I got sick on the way. You don't believe me, ask Lucifer here – he took care of me the whole time, didn't you, buddy?" I asked him, and the ghost Pokémon nodded an affirmation.

"Why should I believe something that can't even talk?" Ibiki asked, and I grinned.

"Lucifer, can you give me a Dark Rift, please?" I asked sweetly, and he nodded as he performed his attack.

"How interesting. I'm impressed. What else can he do?" Ibiki asked, and I grinned.

"Nothing much except protect me when I need him to. I guess you could say he's my helper against stronger ninja," I shrugged.

"Yet you saw fit to knock out one of my Yamanaka, and my best kunoichi interrogator. Who. Are. You?" he growled, and I grinned.

"I told you – Sarah, messenger of Jiraiya-sama. Best friend of Lucifer the Gengar," I told him. "The one in front of you."

"I can tell, kid. I'm no blowhard," he retorted.

"Really? I thought you were," I said nonchalantly. "Actually, I thought you were someone who gave blowjobs and was a pervert."

"Why you little-!" he growled, and grabbed the front of my shirt.

"_**!**_" Lucifer growled angrily. Translation: Let her go before I tear you limb from limb.

"Lucifer doesn't like it when I'm threatened," I told Ibiki. "I'm practically his mom. I raised him from level five to fifty-six. It gets hard to train them when they get to a certain level. It takes longer each time you level them up, you know."

"Why you little-! If you weren't under Lady Hokage's protection, I'd be beating you within an inch of your life. What did you do to Anko?" he growled.

"I didn't do anything. Lucifer sent out a genjutsu of sorts to scare her into stopping her tantrum," I told him truthfully. That was pretty much what the move Hex was, right?

"_Don't _leave this room," Ibiki growled. After about an hour's wait – which I slept during most of – he walked back in. I snapped awake, confused, and Lucifer glared daggers at them.

Still, it had been fun to play patty-cakes with Lucifer while I'd been awake.

"Fine, come with me," Ibiki said as he led me back to the Hokage's office. When I got there, I saw a team I didn't think I'd meet – Team Kurenai.

"Hey," Kiba said eagerly, and Akamaru whined miserably.

"N-n-nice t-to m-meet y-you," Hinata stammered, while Shino watched in silence.

"Sarah, you'll be staying with Kurenai until we can find you an apartment," Tsunade said, and I nodded eagerly. Oh boy – triple trouble was coming now! All I had to do was send Lucifer away so I could summon my Zorua, Phantasm.

"Yes, ma'am," I said with a bow. I looked over at the preteens, and stared at each one of them. Akamaru was still whining and hiding in Kiba's jacket, Kiba was trying to figure out what was wrong, Shino's bugs weren't too happy either, and Hinata looked around scared.

We headed out of the office and towards their favorite training grounds, so I followed them. Once there, though, the fidgeting of the trio got worse by the minute. Lucifer was having way too much fun scaring them invisibly.

"What on earth?" Shino piqued, and I realized what was going on.

"Huh? Oh! Lucifer, knock it off!" I laughed, and Gengar appeared out of nowhere beside me. "Gah! Lucifer!"

He let out a low growl that sounded eerily like laughter… oh well. If he wanted to have some fun, then I'd let him – _after _nightfall.

We were soon getting past all the introductions, and while on the way to the training grounds, we met up with Teams Asuma, Guy, and Kakashi, not all at once. Lee had been ecstatic, of course, and I couldn't help but humor him and egg him into doing something insane for training after a game of rock-paper-siccors. TenTen had sighed and shook her head, and I gave her a look that said "yeah, I know what you mean" before turning to find Neji glaring at me and trying to size me up. Team Asuma had just stood and gaped, but what worried me was how Ino would react now that Sasuke was gone. It was relaxing to find that the three were calm and morose, although Asuma's flirting with Kurenai wasn't too bad to watch. I vaguely thought about telling him that she became pregnant with his kid within three years' time, but I had to bang my head against a tree to resist. Thankfully the two Jonin had mistranslated my deed and instead seperated and led their teams off. Team Kurenai was looking at me gratefully, while Team Asuma was glaring at me with annoyance, except for Shikamaru who was yawning. Kakashi and Sakura weren't impressed by my showing up, but Naruto was literally beside himself with glee. I couldn't help but cringe at all his doppelgangers, trying to prove that I wasn't a threat. I'd worked hard to get to the point that Sakura was at now, but I was still _far _from Chunin material.

I shrieked as a large tarantula showing up nearby. I leapt atop Kurenai, petrified, the medicine bottle closed in my hand tightly.

"Arachnophobia, huh? Nice," Kiba grinned, and Gengar frowned and sighed.

_**GGrrrrrrggg. Grrrggh, Greeearrrgh. Rr. RRGGeeeeaaah. Grreaarg.**_ I watched as Lucifer conversed with the spider – at least, that's what I think he was doing. He then floated over to me, and rehearsed what I was to do – sort of. It was in code, and nobody was getting it. Not even me.

Lucifer face palmed.

_**. Greeeeaaaarrrrr.**_He spun around a few times, and pointed down with one arm, to the right with the other. It suddenly made sense as though something had clicked in my brain.

"Oh! Oh. Okay. Thanks, Lucifer," I said while stepping down still slightly unnerved. The tarantula was nowhere to be seen now. Apparently just a messenger. "Sorry, Kurenai-san."

"It's alright. We'll need to get you over that fear, soon," she smiled softly.

"I'd much rather be scared of spiders than snakes," I retorted. "Ugh, they give me the heebie jeebies!" I shuddered. "I've had a few too many run-ins with spiders coming out of nowhere in my house as a kid. Namely, almost one a day up until I was eight. In my preteen house, there were three brown recluses in one day - all in bathrooms when I seriously had to go. Then there's the ones that fell on top of my chest when I was playing with my brothers downstairs. Eeeeegh," I shuddered again. "Need I continue?"

"No, we get it," Kiba growled, and Akamaru began scratching my leg. "What in the?"

"Huh? Oh, you probably smell Phantasm on me!" I smiled at him, recalling my level thirty-four Zorua that was about to evolve. "He's my Zorua! He's so cute – you'd hate him, though."

"Try me," Kiba growled.

"Okay," I said warily. "If you're sure. Lucifer, go over beside – um…" I stammered, not wanting to say his name when nobody had said it yet.

"Oh, sorry. I'm Kurenai Yuhi. This is Kiba and his ninken, Akamaru. Hinata is our Hyuga, and Shino is our Aburame clan member," Kurenai introduced, pointing at each student in turn.

"Right. Thanks. Lucifer, can you go beside Shino-san, please? Thanks, pal," I said as he obeyed orders. "Okay, Boar, Dog, Rooster, Monkey, Sheep – Kuchiyose no Jutsu! Phantasm!"

_**GGGRRRRRRR! **_

Phantasm was a small grey wolf with odd marking above his silver eyes. His fur around his neck was gathered, and was midnight black, with red highlights at the top of his gathered tuft on his head, his paws, and his tail. He was about the size of Akamaru, give or take a little bit. He was way cuter, though.

"That's a Zorua?" Kiba asked, and Akamaru began barking.

_**Grrr. **_I laughed at Phantasm and nodded gently at him. He grinned, and jumped in the air to transform into an Akamaru with a black tail.

Akamaru yipped and ran to Kiba with his tail between his legs.

"Nice one, Phantasm!" I laughed. "But, let's play nice, little buddy."

"So, Kakashi taught you to summon, eh?" Kurenai smiled.

"Actually, no. Phantasm has always come when I summoned him like that. I'm not quite sure why," I shrugged, not telling the full truth. I had a hunch, but it would sound like I was a total nut job to these ninja. Orochimaru and Kabuto had had a hard time swallowing it – they only believed me when I'd revealed a lot of information that I shouldn't have.

"Ah!" Hinata stammered as Phantasm padded up to her. He looked at her for a bit, and morphed into her – still having the tail.

"Still have the tail, Phantasm. You gotta work on that, pup," I told him. And he looked behind him. "Don't worry – you'll get it someday, I know it. Why don't you go show Reshi or Korosu your attempt, neh? I'm sure they'd love to see it!" I suggested, and he nodded before _sunshin_ing out.

"I never want to see that thing again," Kiba growled, and Akamaru barked in agreement.

"Fine – don't blame me when you don't get to see how bad-core he is later once he gets some more training in," I shrugged.

* * *

Name: Lucifer Species: Gengar Level: 56 Level 4, Apparently transferred from Johto (Sprout Tower) Moves: Hex, Shadow Claw, Poison Jab, and Dark Rift Ability: Levitate – gives immunity to ground attacks

Name: Phantasm Species: Zorua Level: 34 Route 3 – hatched Moves: Leer, Taunt, Foul Play, Night Slash Ability: Illusion – comes out disguised as the Pokémon in back


	6. Vegas and the Like

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

After two weeks of training with Team Guy, I was ready for a shinobi mission. A real one. I'd gotten a few jutsu from Kurenai and Asuma, and had meticulously plotted to get some more from them. I'd even sent out doppelgangers to the various Chunin nearby for jutsu help. Again, meticulous plotting and note-taking involved. I'd been here for almost four months, and still no signs of Orochimaru-sama, or a mission for him!

I'd gotten instructions for about thirty to forty jutsu in the first week, and then toned it down later. I didn't want to arouse too much suspicion. I'd learned how to seal things inside scrolls that reacted to my chakra and my chakra alone, so I'd been able to seal all my notes inside scrolls with different chakra natures on them. I had seven basic scrolls: one for each of the five elements, one for special ninjutsu like Kiba's Man Beast Mimicry, and finally, one on forbidden jutsu I'd been able to sneak into with the help from Lucifer. He'd been able to get me each and every scroll, and I'd copied down the instructions meticulously for each jutsu.

I'd used up all my ink, and allowance from Orochimaru-sama, and my scrolls were now full. All I needed now was a way to get it to him. I had one blank scroll left – time to seal the scrolls inside of it. I sealed them inside, and performed the necessary sealing jutsu to make sure nobody peeked inside. All in all, I'd gotten about a hundred different jutsu from Konoha's ninjas. I'd even gotten a good look at Kakashi's Chidori as he fought Might Guy – which nobody else took note of.

I'd also invented a few jutsu of my own, and was quite pleased with the results. I'd performed the hand signs in order once while practicing, and stopped on snake because I'd forgotten the next one in line. It was then that TenTen screamed and pointed at me. Neji looked around, and activated his Byakugan. I looked down to find that I was invisible. I tried it again, ending in different hand signs each time.

Rabbit – speed. Boar – strength. Snake – invisibility. Dragon – Flexibility. That was all instruction Orochimaru would need – I told him that ending in a different one would give different results. I suggested trying with the other hand signs since I'd ran out of chakra that day, and was on bed rest for a couple more afterwards.

At length, the time came for my first mission. I was out with Team Asuma, much to my eagerness, and had just walked into Tanzaku, which was where Lady Hokage had assigned us to nip a problem in the bud. She'd told us that a drug dealer king was here, so we were here to bust him. I took one look at the photo, though, and knew who they were talking about – Orochimaru.

Ino was walking around looking at the clothes, Choji was looking at all the restaurants, and Shikamaru was looking at the hotels. Me – I was looking for my master – excuse me, fiancée. When I finally saw him, I wanted to slip away for a while. I did the only thing I could to get away for a while.

"Hey, guys, I want to go try out one of these Casinos. Who's with me?" I asked, and they looked at me like I was crazy. Orochimaru, on the other hand, had overheard me. "Aw come on! That one with the slots and the poker table looks fun!"

"Sure…go on ahead…if you think he'll be in there…" Ino said warily.

"He's a drug lord, he'll probably be looking for some hopeless sap that just lost all their money to try to get them hooked on drugs and/or enslave them!" I reasoned, and the three stooges simply stared at me.

"Whatever, weirdo," Ino said walking off. Shikamaru headed off to the park, and Choji headed off to a restaurant. I, however, headed into a casino, and was instantly sucked into playing a game of slots. I looked to find a coin on the floor, and looked at the machine. Hesitantly, I stuck it in, and pushed the three buttons at random, not knowing how the crap to stop the wheels.

"Woohoo! All sevens!" I crowed. "Awesome!"

"Impressive," came a silky voice behind me. I froze my hands in front of me ready to weave hand signs in necessary. "Do you recognize me, Sarah?"

"H-Hai, Shishou. Here – It's what I've got so far. If it's alright with you, could you help me rig it so you can read them, too?" I asked, and the snake Sannin laughed.

"No, no. Finish your slots. I want to see how you do," he chuckled. I turned around, and put another coin in at random. Another line of sevens. "Hm…It appears that I've got a reverse Tsunade on my hands."

"I don't much care for gambling," I admitted sheepishly, and he laughed openly. "What?"

"You are the exact opposite of Tsunade. You hate gambling, but excel at it. She's addicted to it, but is horrible at it. Ah, the irony. Keep the money – I don't give a damn about it. Go shopping with the blonde for all I care. Now, let's see those scrolls," he chuckled.

I pulled him into a deserted area, one that I realized the Sound Five was guarding, albeit exhausted and they were all half dead from their fights. I pulled out the scroll, and opened it to reveal the other seven. I channeled my chakra, and they started glowing at the edges.

His hands were a blur as he weaved hand signs. He channeled chakra into all seven scrolls, and they stopped glowing. I sealed them back in, one by one, and he performed the same routine on the outer scroll.

"How many?" he asked as he placed the scroll in a pouch.

"About a hundred give or take a few. I think the others are wary of me, though, so I had to tone it down to invent some jutsu of my own. There's one in there that I think you'll like," I smiled. "Oh, that reminds me – Lucifer! Blast it, where did he go this time?" he appeared atop the table, and I grinned widely.

"Ah, is this another one of your…companions?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Orochimaru-sama, this is Lucifer, my Gengar. Lucifer, this is Orochimaru-sama – he's the one who's been my Shishou for a while now. Be nice, big guy. I know you scared the toxic waste out of Anko, but let's not scare anyone until necessary, here, okay?" I asked, and Lucifer nodded.

"How interesting – a ghost for a companion. Does Tsunade know?"

"Yeah. I told her that he got attached to me and hardly ever left my side, but when he did I could just summon him back with a Kuchiyose whenever I needed him. He scared the pee and crap out of Anko – literally!" I grinned. "She was crying on the floor begging for her mommy."

"Now that is amusing," Orochimaru laughed. He knew firsthand how hard it was to get Anko to cry for her mother, and he'd only seen it done once before. "Well done on your performance, Sarah. The preparations are complete for the day you wish to return."

"As much as I'd love to, Tsunade would skin me alive. She thinks I'm a leaf ninja!" I admitted. "She almost gave me a leaf headband, but I told her I'd rather work for nobody and help whichever village was the most desperate. She didn't like that too much. Naruto said he'd kill me if I went to you. I persuaded him otherwise by bribing him about getting Sasuke back."

"You were right about him – spoiled brat. Unfortunately, he hadn't reached that stage of manhood yet. We'll be ready for him when he does, though, won't we pet?" Orochimaru purred, and I laughed.

"You bet!" I laughed, and then froze as I heard someone calling out to me. "Uh-oh. That's Ino – I'd better go back before they figure out what's going on. See you in three weeks?"

"No, that's too soon. I'll request a mission of Tsunade that will specify for you. You'll know it when you receive it, my dear. Farewell, my love," Orochimaru purred as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

"Bye," I whispered into his ear as he did. I raced off to find Ino, and smiled as I held up my bag full of money. "Check it! I got all sevens seven times in a row!"

"Bitch. Where were you? We're supposed to be hunting a drug lord, not lounging around!" she yelled.

"Hey, relax! It pays to hang around some locals. I heard some of them talking about a wack-job who had reported the false drug lord in a desperate attempt for money. It was a fake job," I said shaking my head.

"Damn it!" Ino screamed and stormed out. I looked over at Orochimaru, but he was long gone. I missed him already…

"What's wrong?" Choji asked and I sighed.

"It's a fake. The informant was insane and desperate for money. There's no drug dealer here," I told them. Ino was still screaming angrily. "Hey, does she have a right to talk about goofing off when she was the one who went to goof off first?"

"No," Shikamaru said simply, and Choji shook his head, his mouth full of food.

"Hey, Ino, I don't think it's legal that you get to lecture me about this mission. Shikamaru's in charge, not you. Besides, you were the one who started goofing off first with your shopping spree," I spat, stepping into her path.

"Get out of my way, traitor," she spat, pushing me aside. I decided to stick with the boys since they knew what was going on better than me.

"She'll get over it. Just give her time," Choji said in between bites. I looked at a rooftop and felt bloodlust that was all too familiar … Orochimaru had seen Ino's performance.

"Hey, if it's okay with you, can I go back there to grab a bite to eat? I'm starving," I frowned. Choji's ears perked up, and Shikamaru shrugged.

"What a drag. We may as well stay as a team for safety. Ino's Ino – she'll get over it eventually," he sighed. We headed back to a buffet, and we began eating hungrily.

"Three separate meal tickets boys," I told them as we broke our chopsticks apart. "I only earned enough money in gambling to keep me going for a few weeks on rent and groceries. Sorry."

"It's fine," Choji said smiling. "It's not your fault. Wait – you're staying with Kurenai-sensei, why do you need to pay rent?"

"I'd be a burden if I didn't. I pay some of the rent, Hinata pays a small amount, and Kurenai-Sensei pays some. Kurenai-Sensei's gone a lot, so she pays me back when she can. Hey – you guys hear that?" I asked, piquing my ears in interest.

"I think you're hearing things, Sarah-san," Choji said with a mouth full of food.

"Probably," I murmured, and then went back to my food. Lucifer was invisible, but keeping watch, and his eyes widened from behind Shikamaru and Choji (who didn't know he existed) as someone walked in about thirty minutes later. I turned around, and stared at Orochimaru walking in.

"You know him?" Shikamaru asked.

"No, but he's a freaking vampire. And a damn sexy one, by the looks of it," I grinned, blushing crimson.

"So, dad, why are we eating out?" I heard Kabuto ask. _Ah, so that's their aliases. _

"Am I not allowed to dote on my adopted son every once in a while?" Orochimaru teased, and the two boys in my team looked at each other in confusion.

"Sorry – it's just – you're gone all the time, and I hardly ever get to see you," Kabuto said blatantly.

"Yes, and I apologize, son, but I've been trying to get more jobs closer to home," Orochimaru said sadly, and I could only tell that he was faking it because I knew him fairly well by now.

"Excuse me, but you haven't seen a blonde girl nearby, have you?" Choji said discreetly to the pair of Otonin. "She stormed off a while ago and hasn't come back since. Bleach blonde hair, sky blue eyes, clothes that show bandages around her midriff?"

"There was one girl down the street, but she was crying onto a man's shoulder. Something about a bitching brunette being a hypocrite. Although, knowing blondes, she's being more of a hypocrite than the brunette," Kabuto said nonchalantly.

"Thanks!" Choji said as Shikamaru left the booth murmuring "what a drag."

"I can't believe that lazy idiot would rattle off like that – she went shopping way before I ever even _started _looking at casinos!" I said in disgust. "Speaking of which, have either of you two gentlemen seen this man?" I asked, holding up a picture of our false drug dealer.

"As a matter of fact, one of my coworkers said he was ambushed by this man," Orochimaru said with a frown. He'd disguised himself extremely well – I was just now only able to tell for sure who he was by his chakra signature. His hair was now a bright, almost natural, red, and his eyes were a hazel instead of their usual golden. "It was somewhere around Snake Mountain, I believe."

"Right. Thanks a million, mister," Choji said just before belching.

"Ugh! At least have the manners to close your mouth and say excuse me!" I said disgusted – I was one to talk, though. I burped all the time – just not in public.

"S-sorry," he murmured, then left his own tab and left the buffet.

"Idiot. Well, alone again. Almost," I grinned.

"Indeed. Here – I sealed them in the same manner you did before," Orochimaru whispered. "You'll find it easier to find new jutsu now that you've helped Konoha a little. I recommend you go find your teammate – I knocked her out, and Lucifer-kun wasn't too happy with her."

"Oh, dear," I squeaked.

"Peace," he said putting up a hand. "I placated him by putting her under my own nightmare jutsu – I gave him the hand signs, he'll show you later. Now, run along and play nice."

"Yes, sir," I said, leaving a small tip. The service here was lousy – but then again, it was almost like Vegas.

I raced down the street, following a very angry Lucifer, and turned to find Ino writhing in garbage. Ooh, looked to me like she'd taken a Tsukuyomi or two. Good riddance, I say. But, alas, she was my teammate, and I was forced to help her up by that fact.

"Let's get back and report to Hokage-sama," I huffed, and the two boys nodded.

On the way out of town, however, a woman raced out to me, clinging to me for dear life.

"Please! Help me! My husband – he's trying to kill me and my baby!" she begged, and I saw the look in her eyes that meant that she was an Otonin trying to help.

"Lead the way," I ordered, and she obeyed. I raced in, glared angrily, and performed doppelgangers to beat the crud out of him. "Next time you hit your spouse, think about the consequences. If I ever get word of you attacking her and the kid again, I'll rip you limb from limb without a second thought. Got it?" I glared.

"Y-yes," he murmured, then lost consciousness.

"Thank you, oh, thank you! How can I ever repay you?" she gushed, and I couldn't help but blush in embarrassment.

"It's nothing. Just try to wean him off the sake, okay? If he's not on it – well, let someone in similar situations as this know that Konoha's got a maverick vigilante on their hands, okay?"

"I will," she promised, and I grinned as I left. My message had been passed to Orochimaru-sama. I was done in town. "Wait!" she said, rushing out to me. "Take this, it's the least I can do!" she begged, and I frowned. "Please?"

"Alright. Take care," I said before racing off to catch up.

I already knew what was in the scroll – instructions for new jutsu and new methods for new jutsu gathering. I had to bite back the urge to hit her, but I had managed to snatch something from Choji while his back was turned – the green pellet that he'd used against Jirobo. I quickly snatched the casing, dumped the pills into a small bag, and smashed the lids to where they would stay ajar.

When we got back to Konoha, Choji took Ino straight to the hospital while Shikamaru and I went to give the mission report. I told Tsunade what Orochimaru had told me about the false coworker being attacked, and she sighed heavily.

"Get some rest, Sarah. You'll be heading out in ten to twenty weeks' time. There's a businessman who requested your assistance specifically. Something about you rescuing his sister from an abusive relationship with a ninja – using nothing but doppelgangers," she sighed, and I nodded.

* * *

I know, she's all Mary-Sue, but keep in mind that she _has _been making a heaping load of mistakes - just not on camera.


	7. Back in the Sound

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

After spending two months gathering jutsu part time, and creating jutsu part time, my scrolls were, once again, full to the brim. I wanted to go back home – bad. I missed Orochimaru dearly, and it showed by my depression. Jonin and Chunin even tried to cheer me up with more jutsu, and it helped for a good two weeks. The mission had been delayed for another two, and I had one more week left. I'd been helping guard the borders of the land of fire, and stealing jutsu from the various shinobi out there.

I now had more than just the scrolls that Orochimaru had given me. I'd had to add another seven scrolls on top of that, so now I had two scrolls to give him. That was two hundred jutsu ready. Whether or not he knew them all was beyond me, though. So, I kept gathering. Ino was still in the hospital for insanity, and I visited her only once. She was screaming hysterically about how I was medusa and that I had summoned a giant snake to attack her. Creepy to the point where I wet myself.

Much to the ANBU's dismay, I'd summoned Phantasm in front of them, so they shrugged it off as Ino's paranoia and insanity problem. I'd gone racing off to get some more taijutsu training in, and had been keeping weights on my legs ever since I'd begun training with Guy and Lee. I wasn't quite there yet, but I was on my way. I was much faster now than when I'd originally been when I'd started training in Konoha, but nowhere near fast enough to be able to escape a Jonin.

"So, Sarah, what are you doing today?" Naruto asked as he raced up beside me.

"I think I'll go to the graveyard after stopping by the flower shop. There are a couple gravestones I want to see. A friend of mine told me he's been too busy on missions to visit them, and he wanted me to put flowers on their graves," I told him.

"Oh. Well, that's nice," Naruto said warily. I stopped by the Yamanaka flower shop and looked around. Blue Lilies – perfect!

"Four Blue Lilies, please," I said, and Inoichi flinched. "Relax; I'm not going to blow something up with it."

"Here," Inoichi said stiffly. "One hundred Ryo," he said, and I handed him the money.

"Thanks," I waved as I headed off to the graveyard. I looked through the gravestones and thought about who was where. I decided to create a bunch of doppelgangers to help me in my search. I'd had Lucifer look up the ninja records and find me the names of Orochimaru-sama's parents.

"Hey, Naruto, can I be alone for a while?" I asked, and he nodded reluctantly and headed off to find Iruka or Kakashi.

When I finally found it, they were covered in moss. I uncovered them, and smiled gently. I knew it was pointless, but I gathered what the hell, I may as well.

"You'd be proud of him if you were here," I told Orochimaru's parents quietly. "He's a powerful ninja now, leader of Otogakure, hiding in the Sound. He took on an apprentice before he left, and she's still in Konoha – but she hates him. He took Sasuke and me on later – about seven and a half months ago. He's horribly strict with his training regimens, but it's completely worth it in the end.

"He's a great man, and an even better leader. He keeps an eye on his subordinates, helps us out when we need it sometimes, but not enough to hinder our growth. He protects us when we need it, too. He even took down someone who was Kage level who was fighting two reanimated corpses of the First and Second Hokage's for fun. I'm glad to have met him – he's the most amazing person I could have ever known. He's a genius, too. He discovered DNA, our genetic makeup. He's been discovering so many jutsu, it's amazing. He's even mastered a few forbidden ones to protect the village with. I wish you guys could see him. He misses you so much – not a day goes by without him thinking of you.

"Some people would call me crazy for talking to you like this, but I think you guys deserve to know. He is your son, after all. Heh, how ironic. Two white snake-skins. He'd found one – and I've found two. I hope I can meet you guys someday if you really have been reborn. I'd like that," I said gently to the graves of Orochimaru's parents. I picked up the two snake skins, and placed the four lilies in their places. "Well, I'll come see you again next time something newsworthy comes up."

I could have sworn I heard someone in the wind saying 'thank you'. As I got home, I put the snake skins in a small box, and taped it shut.

I was now in a bind. I had no way of getting it to him at all. Unless – I had one piece of parchment spare left. I quickly wrote the sealing jutsu on the bottom half of it, and sealed the box inside the paper.

_Shishou, _I wrote. _I found these on your parents' graves when I visited them. I thought you might like it or know what it means since you're the expert. I hope you like it. Sarah_

"Okay, now to get this to him. But how?" I asked, and was startled by a bird tapping on my window.

_Mission will be assigned soon. Send a letter in reply. Shishou_

I grinned at the irony of his timing. I hooked the parchment up to the bird's leg and sent it off to find Orochimaru. I sighed, and began packing my books and studies up into scrolls. I began sealing scrolls within scrolls, and was extremely tempted to grab something from the library.

"Sarah-san," Lee called through the door, and I flinched.

"Give me a minute! I just need to – Ow!" I yelled as I banged my foot on the table harshly. "Flick!" I yelled angrily as I sealed the last of my scrolls into a single one. "Yeah?"

"Hokage-sama wants us on a mission!" he said happily, and I grinned. He was right – it was time to come home.

"You called?" I asked, and flinched as I looked around. Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji, and Lee were all ready to go. "Um…what's the assignment?"

"You are to go to Snake Mountain and protect a businessman there. Otonin and bandits have been lurking there with drug dealers – good luck," Tsunade said, flicking her wrist to dismiss us. "You have twenty minutes to prepare."

I spent my twenty minutes saying my good-byes to the others, knowing there was a likely-hood of not coming back. I reassured them I would try my hardest, but that I had a bad feeling in my gut about this mission. It was somewhat true – I was nervous as to how both sets of comrades would react to each other. Besides that, I'd already grabbed my two scrolls with the other scrolls inside of them before I'd left Kurenai's apartment.

"Ready?" I asked as the boys approached. "What's the formation?"

"Same as last time," Shikamaru said simply. "Sarah, you'll take Naruto's spot as third since you're good with doppelgangers. Lee, you'll be fourth."

When we finally stopped for the night, everything was uneventful. We were at the foot of the mountain, and not a soul was to be seen.

"Guys, let's just get some sleep. Lucifer will wake me up if something goes wrong," I yawned.

"Lucifer?" most of them asked, and Kiba shuddered.

"You don't mean that purple thing that likes you so much, do you?" he asked desperately.

"Yup!" I said happily. "Lu-kun! Where are you now, you silly Gengar?" I teased, and he appeared behind Neji making scary as hell faces.

"Uaah!" Neji yelled in shock while Lucifer laughed. "What is that thing?"

"Lucifer," I chirped, and he floated over to me. "Yeah, that's my big boy! You're so sweet! Can you do mommy a favor and make sure nobody tries to hurt anyone in this clearing right now during the night-time?"

_**GRRIARR! GGGRRRR! **_He roared out, pounding his chest and grinning maniacally. I already knew that that meant.

"Translation: You bet. Leave it to me!" I told the others as Lucifer began floating away and recruiting other ghosts. "Night guys!" I said flopping down my sleeping bag and setting up my own little cozy nest.

I opened my eyes later, when everyone was fast asleep. Lucifer was staring at me, and pointing at something else. Orochimaru.

"Good boy," I murmured, and tiptoed over. I raced off alongside him, and stopped at a river. "What's up?"

"You're with Konoha shinobi and asleep? I taught you better than that," he scolded quietly.

"Lucifer's keeping watch. I told him to protect everyone – including from each other. Speaking of which – how am I supposed to get away from them long enough to marry you?" I asked, and he grinned.

"Remove your protection. The otonin will ensure that they stay put. You said during night-time. As long as we time it just right, we can fake your death. Or, we can put you in a false hostage situation," he smirked.

"I like the latter. Will do – all we have to do is trick the others – but how? Kiba and Akamaru are Inuzuka and ninken – they'll track us down without a hitch," I murmured.

"Do you have a water user in your arsenal?" he asked, and I grinned.

"Yes, I do. You'll see him later, I promise. I'd better go before they notice me missing. I'll see you tomorrow," I promised.

"Today," he smirked before kissing me on the forehead.

I beamed before racing back to the clearing and tiptoeing back into the clearing and waiting in my sleeping bag.

The next morning, I woke everyone up at the crack of dawn. They grumbled and whined, so I let them sleep in.

"Lucifer's not going to be keeping watch since it's daytime now. I'm heading off to take a shower in the river. If you idiots are still asleep when I get back I will personally dump every one of you out onto the ground," I threatened, knowing I probably wasn't going back to that clearing for a while.

"Okay," Kiba yawned. "Later, then."

"Your funerals," I muttered. "Lucifer, go play somewhere. It's daytime, so the nice ninja shouldn't need protecting."

With a low growl of approval, he set off to go scare the pants off of the others. I raced off with Orochimaru, who left a ransom note beside my pair of dirty clothes (I'd changed between the clearing and river). He picked me up on his back, and carried me all the way to the nearest hideout.

"So, I guess this means good-bye till the wedding," I said shyly once we got inside and he set up the protection barriers.

"Indeed. Tayuya will help you with your dress. The rest of the Sound Five are holding your teammates away, and Guren is helping them on my orders. They are to wait until dawn of tomorrow. The base is covered in a large, crystalline dome – with no chances of getting in or out," he assured me.

"Aw, how sweet! You think of everything!" I crooned, and he frowned.

"None of that," he growled as he pushed me into my old bedroom.

"Let's go!" Tayuya said excitedly, and I flinched as she stripped me of my Konohagakure clothes. Finally, after what felt like hours, she was finished with the Kimono, my hair, and even a little makeup.

"Wow, Tayuya. It's beautiful! Thank you," I murmured, but she shook her head.

"You saved our lives, Sarah-sama. If you hadn't warned him of our dying on that Sasuke retrieval, he wouldn't have given us the medicine we needed to survive. It slips us into comas until our bodies can handle the damage done," she explained.

"My pleasure!" I grinned, and we raced down the hallway.

"Nervous?" she asked, and I nodded. "Don't be – you look beautiful. I'm sure Orochimaru-sama will be heartbroken - or rather, furious - that he couldn't have seen this earlier."

"I hope so," I murmured as we opened the door to the dojo that had been converted into a chapel of sorts. The Body Odor smell was now gone and every Otonin in the base were wearing their best clothes. Orochimaru-sama was waiting for me at the altar, with Kabuto as his best man. Amashi, one of Orochimaru's Jonin researchers, was to perform the vows.

"Relax," Tayuya whispered into my ear, and I fidgeted nervously. No flower girls. Two bride's maids – Karin and Tayuya – and me. Wow, I felt insignificant in all of this.

I didn't even pay much attention to the vows. I was just waiting for the question.

"I do," I answered when it finally came. And Orochimaru answered likewise.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride," Amashi announced, and I nervously turned to Orochimaru, who held my face in his hands gently. He brought his lips to mine for the first time ever, and I thought I was going to catch on fire I was burning so hot.

"Beautiful," he whispered as he finished. I stayed close to him, wary, and the otonin were all clapping happily. More than just happily – they were honestly glad I was back!

"What happened while I was gone?" I asked as we walked out.

"It's a long story," Orochimaru smirked. I gave him a look that said 'please don't make me go ask Four-eyes' and he caved. "Fine. It was lonely without you here. Nothing was the same – nothing held the same light. Not even torturing helped. I was forced to resort to terrorizing them for new jutsu."

"How ironic. I felt the same way unless I was helping you by getting more jutsu," I told him.

"Forget the jutsu. I want you," he growled playfully into my ear.

"Oh my," I gasped. "Aren't we supposed to wait for that? And where oh where are we going for our honeymoon?"

"It's a surprise," he grinned. "Besides – your teammates are desperately trying to get in. I've got an idea on how to get out."

"Reshi?" I asked, and he shook his head. "Oh, my water user? I don't know…I think Renate would be a better bet. They'll be scared of her."

"Then by all means, go right on ahead, my dear," he crooned. "Everything's ready to go except for us."

I quickly changed with my back to him. I still wasn't going to have any of that yet. I was way too scared. I began pacing around the room and unloading the fourteen scrolls I had onto his desk, and noticed that there was a lack of paperwork there.

"I assigned two ninja to handle the prisoner and jailing, and the missions' paperwork. The only paperwork left is what's to be done as the village leader. Quite ingenious, don't you think?" he grinned, and pulled me backwards by my waist with his tongue.

"Yes, but I need to summon, dearest. And I'll need a lot of chakra for it, too. You might end up carrying me," I warned.

"Everything we'll need is in a scroll, pet. Well, should we get started?" he grinned as we got outside in the back.

"They're out back!" I heard Neji shout, and I performed the Summoning as quickly as I could.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu! Renate!" I said, and my shiny Tyranitar appeared, angry as ever. She was large, a light tan like the sand, and the diamond-shaped center was purple like Orochimaru's rope. "Renate, make sure they don't follow us!" I ordered before collapsing into Orochimaru's arms.

He yanked me roughly over the shoulder, pretending I was his prisoner, and raced off in another direction. I let sleep overcome me as he ran towards the unknown destination.

* * *

Name: Renate Species: Tyranitar Level: 100 Sinnoh – hatched Moves: Dark Pulse, Thunderbolt, Earthquake, Flamethrower Ability: Sand Veil – summons sandstorm


	8. Honeymoon

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

* * *

"Well, pet?" Orochimaru asked as we reached the destination. We were atop a mountain, and I was looking around at everything. "What do you think? It's the last place to look for this…Palkia, as you call it."

"You actually want me to summon Palkia? No way! I can't!" I protested wearily. "I'm still tired from summoning Renate! Although, I wouldn't object to a quick in and out."

"You're insufferable," he sighed as he collapsed onto the bed beside me. "Sleep, or sex?"

"Sleep," I murmured, and he pulled me closer to him.

"As you wish, my pet," he murmured as I fell asleep once more.

When I awoke once more, I felt refreshed and like I could battle an army. I looked around at my surroundings. It had the same layout as most of the other hideouts, and there were a few more things here that weren't at the last one. Feminine hygiene products, for starters, and then not a single otonin were in sight except Orochimaru and me. I smiled at my good luck. I may have married a monster, but he knows how to pick them and spoil us rotten when he wants to. The door suddenly opened, and I watched as he walked in with a plate of food on each hand.

"I decided to let you recover before training. Have you been perfecting your Rasengan?" he asked, and I nodded, my mouth full of eggs. "Good. Have you learned anything else in Konoha? Or were you perfecting your taijutsu?"

"Taijutsu," I replied between bites. We ate in silence after that, and we put our dishes in the sink. He led me back to the bedroom, and I knew what was coming – sex.

"You've never had a man," he stated simply, and I nodded. "Good girl. I'm the only one, do I make myself clear?"

"I could never look at another man like that. You're the only one I love enough to – you know," I told him, my face flushing from embarrassment.

"I'm glad to hear it," he purred, running his hands up my shirt as we walked. "Now, be a good girl, and get ready."

"Orochimaru-sama… I'm scared," I whimpered, and he looked at me in amusement.

"You have no need to be afraid – you will set the pace for our first few times," he told me. We were at the bedroom door, and I was still nervous.

I breathed a sigh of relief that he would go easy on me since it would be the day that I lost my V-card. Then it hit me. "Wait, you've never done it, either?" I asked, and he chuckled.

"I was saving it for a special … ninja… who wouldn't betray me. You are the one I've chosen," he said simply as he picked me up. "Now, how do you wish to do this? Quick and painless, or slow and agonizing?" he asked, and I thought for a second. I didn't care. "Now, I've a mind on how to remove your pajamas."

"Then by all means, go ahead," I breathed, nervous. "Just – give me time to adjust…that's all I ask."

"As you wish," he murmured.

.

.

.

When I woke up again, I raced to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. My every nerve was still on fire, and everything hurt like heck. I turned on the shower to piping hot, and let it wash over me. I sat on the floor of the shower as the hot water cascaded down, soothing my aching muscles alongside the steam. Without thinking, I began crying. I loved Orochimaru with all my heart, but I missed my family and friends. I wanted them to know the joys and pains I was going through. But, alas, I couldn't.

"Pet?" Orochimaru asked as he walked in and joined me.

"I miss my family," I sobbed, and he held me close. "I want them to know I'm happy, and okay and safe! They think I'm dead! I freaking watched my own funeral when I was asleep in Konoha! I want to at least tell them what's going on in my life! What if my parents become drunkards because of sorrow?"

"All the more power to you, my dear. At least your parents are alive," he reminded me.

"I found their graves," I told him. "Your parents. I told them what you'd become, how you're a great leader and person."

"Indeed. I got your message," he chuckled. "White Snake skins that have been shed symbolize life and rebirth. Perhaps they really have been reborn."

"But would they recognize you?" I asked, and he shook his head. "I still wish I could tell them. I miss them so much…"

"I know, pet. I lost my parents at a young age. I grew up without parents," he reminded me.

"I…I…" I whimpered, but he cut me off with a kiss.

"No more," he ordered, and I nodded sadly. Finding a way through to my parents would have to wait. Out of boredom and loneliness, I began playing with his eyelashes. "Having fun?" he smirked.

I put my hand on his shoulder, and my head on his chest, my ear next to his heart. The familiar sound was soothing, so I let the subject drop. We stayed there in silence for a while, and he finally turned off the water. I didn't care – my muscles were still sore anyways, but they still felt much better then when I'd woken up.

"Pet…" he murmured, and I put a towel around myself to hide.

I didn't like it – I knew I was self conscious about my body, but I had every right to be. Two scars on my stomach, three on my head, and five more in various other places, all from surgeries, is bound to make anyone self-conscious.

"It's the scars, isn't it?" he asked gently, and I nodded. "Surgeries?" I nodded again. "Do you wish to talk about it?" I didn't want to, but I may as well get it over with.

"I was born three months early. My mom was allergic to having kids, and I was her third. I contracted citrobactor in the Infant ICU, and from there developed hydrocephalus. The four ventricles in the head were damaged by the citrobactor, and they ended up putting a shunt in to help relieve the hydrocephalus when I was a year old. When I was fourteen, about to be fifteen, they went in to fix the shunt. I ended up in the hospital a week and a half later leaking Cerebral Spinal Fluid from the first incision site on the back of my head. When they found out, I was admitted to the hospital and was sent into surgery to replace the shunt the next day. I haven't cut my hair since that day when they removed all my hair. It hurts too much to – it reminds me of that day that I lost almost everything dear to me," I said quietly. "That's why I make sure nothing hits my head, especially on the left side. The large bulge on my head is the shunt. I hate it, but I'll die without it."

"You wish to be rid of the shunt while living, yes?" he asked, and I nodded. "We'll continue our little prisoner façade, then when the Konoha ninja rescue you, Tsunade will look at your records and heal you. Tis a simple task, really. Knowing her, she'll make the ventricles as good as new."

"I like that idea. How much longer will we keep up the façade?" I asked, and he grinned.

"From what I'm gathering from the snake messengers, they've sent Hatake Kakashi alongside your companions. I'll need to move hideouts, though. We can't risk you waking up on the way to Konoha, now do we?" he teased, and I shook my head. We raced off, my body still sore, and I stumbled frequently.

After about twelve hours, we reached the hideout that was just outside the Land of Fire. We raced to the bedroom to perform our façade, and I let the world cave around me once more.

* * *

Yes, this is going where you think it is.

Reviews? Please?


	9. Imprisonment

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

I awoke to white sterile walls I knew too well. I hated hospitals. Hated them with my every fiber. Everything hurt like heck, and I looked around. I missed Orochimaru already, but if someone had asked I'd say that I missed my family.

"Yes! You're awake!" Naruto said gleefully, and tackled me. I felt like I was going to die.

"Naruto, knock it off! She's still recovering from surgery!" Sakura scolded, and I looked over at her in confusion. "I'm Haruno, Sakura, teammate of this idiot. Lady Hokage had to go in and take something out of your head and heal something else. Something about hydrocephalus and citrobactor scar tissue…"

I grinned. My life's dreams were to be married to Orochimaru and rid of that blasted shunt, and I'd finally gotten them! Life was perfect now. I could die peacefully without a hitch – well, except Orochimaru pining after me of course.

"What happened?" Choji asked worriedly as he walked in with the others. "You got kidnapped by an otonin, we know that much."

"I – I don't know… one minute I was showering in the river, and then everything went black. The next thing I know, I feel like I'm about to die inside a dungeon of some sort, and everything hurts like hell. They put some sort of medicine into an IV they had in me, and then I woke up here," I said furrowing my brow in confusion.

"Well, the mission was a bust – we got rid of that drug dealer's henchmen, at least," Lee said as he moved to get closer to Sakura.

"Alright, you, everybody out," Tsunade said as she walked in. "I need to check up on my patient. Out." The others filed out, and Tsunade looked at me sadly. "You're the first one he's raped…why do you think that is?"

"Wh-what? Who?" I asked, clutching my gut in pain. "That explains the pain…ow…"

"Orochimaru," she said sternly, and I froze. Crap – I'd forgotten that they kept DNA references on all their ninja, even the ones who went rogue. "Nobody blames you if you want to take a few days off. I won't blame you if you get pregnant and want to destroy the child, either."

"No…I can't do that. It wouldn't be the baby's fault. I can't punish an unborn child for something its father did," I sobbed. I was a good actress – but I missed Orochimaru dearly, now more than ever. "I – I'm sorry… I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough…"

"It's not your fault, kid," Jiraiya said as he walked in. "Orochimaru's done much worse to others. Be happy you got off this lucky. Besides that, if you wanted me to take the kid off your hand if you got pregnant because of it, then I'd be happy to. It's only fair since he's my teammate and you're my apprentice."

"Thanks," I murmured quietly. "But no thanks. If I do get pregnant, I'll need to keep the child. If what I've heard about him from Naruto is true, then Orochimaru's a wild card – we never know what he'll do. I don't want to die because I didn't keep his child."

"Be careful," Tsunade said sternly before leaving me alone with Jiraiya.

"You could have told me you'd gotten lost. I covered for you when Tsunade asked whether or not I'd sent you back, but next time you lie to her, I'll reveal that I didn't send you," Jiraiya warned quietly. Crap – I'd have to be more careful now.

"S-sorry…I was scared…I didn't have any training and the ANBU wouldn't let me in… they were about to kill me…" I defended quietly.

"I can appreciate that," Jiraiya nodded. "Alright. I'll let it slide, then. But don't let it happen again."

"I won't," I promised. "I'm going to have bodyguards, aren't i?"

"Yes, you are. We've assigned two ANBU to make sure you don't get out of line. Ah, here they come now," Jiraiya said as the two walked in. Oh, this was bad. I recognized these two from a video game on the Wii – Komachi and Yugao. "Relax, they're both kunoichi. Sarah, this is Yugao with the purple hair and Komachi with the brown."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely, feeling more like a prisoner than anything else. They stayed silent, and the sense of foreboding was only made worse.

"O…kay, then," Jiraiya said looking between the three of us. "I'll leave you three alone, then."

I felt like a dunce, so I decided to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep. Yet, even in my sleep, my former life haunted me. I watched my parents screaming at the school teachers to drop me from their classes and give me an honorary diploma, but that didn't work. Figures.

Battershell was lecturing, as always, and the other teachers were still crestfallen at my death somewhat. My friends – what few I'd made in half a semester of college– were still wearing pure black. Carl more so than the others, and he would randomly start crying for no reason. I pitied him – he was one of the few males I felt comfortable around one-on-one when it came outside of the family. I raced over to the Fayetteville Public Library, and Shay and Kena were on duty today. Sweetness!

I padded over to Shay's desk and began typing.

_Hallo! I'm alive and well. In the Naruto world. Trying to come back, but am married now. Having fun and am rid of the ventricular shunt now safely. I'm safe and sound. Miss you all lots. Sarah/Renate_

"Kena," Shay said startled, and Kena walked over and gasped at my message.

"Renate? You're married now? To who?"

_Who do you think? The king of snakes of course! _I replied before leaving.

Bored, I headed over to see what my other brother was doing on his mission in Vegas. He was on the phone with mom, and she had just broken the news to him about my supposed death. I watched him break down and cry, something I'd never seen him do before.

"Hey, Elder D, what's wrong?" his companion asked as Joseph put down the phone.

"She's dead…my sister's dead…" he sobbed, and his companion flinched in sympathy. I leapt over to the computer nearby and began typing a message to Joe.

_Joe, I'm alive and well. In the Naruto world. Trying to come back, but am married now. Having fun and am rid of the ventricular shunt now safely. I'm safe and sound – don't worry, Tsunade did the operation. Learning Jutsus quickly and have mastered the Rasengan in a week and a half. I Miss you lots, Aniki. Sarah/Renate_

"Elder, look," his companion said as he saw me typing. Joe read the message, then reread it.

"Sarah? Impossible…How?" he sobbed. _I'm asleep right now and can communicate with typing stuff out on computers. I married the Snake King, FYI. Don't tell mom – she'll try to kill me for real. I'm not coming back until my nineteenth birthday since they can't do anything about it. _

"Whoa, you're a real nutjob, kid," Joe's companion said shocked. _Coming from the person who goes crazy at the mentioning of the word chocolate? Or Reese's. Or Hershey's? _

"Sis, wait," Joe said sadly, and I flinched. "Should I tell mom and dad at Christmas?" _No. it's best to leave them in the dark until I find a way to visit them in person with my new husband. Konoha's not all that bad – I've gotten quite a few perks from it, but I'll need to move on to Sunagakure soon for newer Jutsu._

"Jutsu?" his companion asked. _Attacks in this world. I'm researching as many as I can for my husband. He wants to know as many as he can before he dies._

"Orochimaru," Joe realized. _Ding ding! We have a winner! Yes, that's who I married. Konoha doesn't know, though. I've been out on missions and running into him or his spies every so often to pass along the info that I've been sealing into scrolls and making them react to my and Orochimaru's chakra alone._

"Chakra?" _the ninja's life source here. I'd better go before Komachi and Yugao get suspicious. Love you, bro!_

I left the heat of the desert and headed up to Oregon to see how my grandmother and cousins were taking it. Mimi was distraught, and my cousins were all crying, Marissa more than the others. Apparently she'd looked up to me.

"We didn't even get to meet her," Marissa sobbed. I immediately wanted to type something, but I couldn't find a laptop. I did, however, find an electric piano. Even better. I began playing Orochimaru's theme out of nowhere, and they turned it off confused. I turned it back on and began playing again, this time Bella's Lullaby from Twilight. They turned it off, and I back on once more. I began playing a different song that my grandmother, Mimi, recognized.

"Sarah?" she asked, and I continued playing. I started playing in morse code, and Uncle alex walked in.

"Dad, come here. You've got to see this. You know Morse Code, right?" Marrissa asked, and he nodded. "Can you translate?" I began pressing the keys to translate, and stopped after each choppy sentence.

"Alive and well. Married. in the … N-A-R-U-T-O world. Shunt out. Recovering quickly. Can't come back. Will keep trying. Love, Sarah," he translated, and I sighed in relief. "P.S. Don't tell mom & dad. They'll kill me."

"Oh my gosh, we love you," Mimi sobbed, and I started playing the song that was going at my funeral. I quit playing and headed out to find someone else to talk to.

"How long has she been asleep?" I heard Kakashi ask Komachi and decided to eavesdrop.

"We're not sure. She fell asleep after Jiraiya-sama left, but she's been muttering in her sleep. Something about Chakra and pianos…" Yugao replied. Oh, shiz, had I talked out loud? CRAP!

"Oh my Kami… she was raped?" Kurenai asked shocked.

"Orochimaru," Komachi replied in confirmation.

"It's too early to tell if she's pregnant or not. We just have to wait and see," Asuma replied gently. "But as for what to do with her… for all we know, it was an act and she had sex with him to make it look like she was attacked."

"Asuma's right. She might be a spy," Guy said sternly. "We all remember what happened with Kabuto."

"That's why Lady Hokage has ordered us to keep an eye on her," Komachi said sternly.

"Hurts…no…stop…please…" I moaned quietly, curling into a ball tighter to prove him wrong. "Please…stop…kill me…please…"

"Sarah, wake up," Komachi said shaking my shoulder. I jerked awake with a loud gasp, and began whimpering in false pain. "You shouldn't be hurting – Lady Hokage gave you medicine to stop that…"

"Post Traumatic Stress," Kakashi nodded. "She's probably feeling the pains of being raped again in her nightmares." I curled up in a tighter ball on the bed.

The rest of the month flew by quickly. I'd gathered about a hundred or so more jutsu, and was ready to go home. I was tired of living a lie in Konoha. I was ready to move on to Sunagakure. I'd have to let Tsunade know first, though.

"Enter," she said as she began filling out more paperwork. "Sarah? Is something wrong?"

"I need to go to Sunagakure. I can't stand another minute in Konoha," I said quickly. "Not after…"

"That mission to Snake Mountain?" she asked gently, and I nodded.

"I don't want people to look at me like I'm a wimp who serves Orochimaru. That's all I've been hearing from the Jonin anymore. They think that Orochimaru will attack Konoha to get to me…and to be honest, I believe them. He's a wild card, I don't want to put Konoha in any more danger," I pled, and Tsunade nodded.

"I understand. I'll send a message ahead to Sunagakure. Actually, three of their ninja are here again. I'll send you back with them. Komachi, go get the Sand Trio," Tsunade ordered, and the ANBU left. "You seem positive about this decision. Can I trust you not to reveal any Konoha secrets?"

"My lips are sealed," I promised. "But isn't Sunagakure Konoha's allies?"

"I still don't want our secrets getting out," Tsunade said firmly.

"You have my word," I said equally as firm, crossing my fingers in my pockets. It wasn't my word if my fingers were crossed. I could do as I pleased.

"Can we help?" Temari asked as she and Kankurou walked in. they looked the same as they did in the Sasuke Retrieval Arc. Yikes.

"Sarah here is a nomadic ninja – she helps whatever village she pleases and doesn't spill any secrets. Could you be her escort to Sunagakure?" Tsunade asked, and Gaara nodded. "Well, it's settled. Sarah, go pack what things you want. We'll keep a spot open in the upcoming Chunin exams if that is what you please."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. I am forever in your debt," I said with a low bow. I raced back to grab what few things I'd wanted, and headed to the village gates.

"I'm Temari," she introduced. "These are my brothers Kankurou and Gaara."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Sarah," I grinned. Naruto came racing up behind me. "Whats up, Naruto-san?"

"Do you really have to go?" he asked sadly.

"Yes – I don't want rogue ninjas attacking Konoha to get to me. That's why I'm a nomad – Rogues keep attacking me whenever I get too attached to one place. Don't worry – I'll write as often as I can, I promise!"

"Here – take it," Naruto said, holding out a scroll. "Ero-Sennin gave it to me, but you'll need it more than me."

"Thanks, Naruto-san," I said hugging him. Sakura ran up behind him. "Bye, Sakura-san. Tell the others I said good-bye. Who knows, I might see you guys in the next Chunin exams."

"Yeah," Naruto said sadly. "Hey, Kiba said that Orochimaru attacked you on your last mission. Are you okay?"

"fine – shaken up, but fine. I need a change of scenery, that's all. I need to get out of Konoha so people quit glaring at me like I'm some sort of monster," I told him, and he nodded.

"If you ever need us again, just tell us and we'll come running," Temari teased Shikamaru, who had showed up to see her off.

"Thanks again," he said smiling. "Take care, Sarah-san."

"You, too, Shikamaru-san," I said before turning my back on Konoha. I shuddered, knowing that my cover had almost been blown there by Orochimaru and my marriage and honeymoon. That was too close – _way _too close. I'd have to be more careful in Suna.


	10. Sunagakure

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

I gasped as I walked into Sunagakure for the first time. Gaara, Temari and Kankurou took me to the elders of their village, and I flinched. They glared at me like I'd done something wrong.

"Elders, she's a nomadic ninja. Rogues keep attacking her. She wants to give Konoha a chance to recover before going back to help some more. May she stay here, please?" Gaara asked politely, and I stared at him. He was a Jinchuuriki, like Naruto, and I knew that at any moment he could blow.

"You are to keep an eye on her, Gaara," one of them spoke up. "If only to ensure she doesn't do anything stupid or traitorous."

"Yes, elders. Thank you," he said bowing.

"Thank you very much," I said bowing even lower. I knew these ninja were corrupt, but this was insanity. I realized then that I was going to have a much harder time getting things done here than in Konoha. So much for the spy work.

"So, where do you want to start? Shopping? Training grounds? Other ninja?" Temari asked, eager to have another kunoichi to talk to.

"I was actually thinking about sightseeing first," I said sheepishly. "Would that be okay?"

"Sure," she said, and began leading away. I looked at Gaara, knowing I was his responsibility.

"She's my responsibility, Temari. I'll show her around," Gaara said simply, and began walking in another direction. I hastened to follow him, and gathered the layout of the village. Very much like Konoha – I'd have to draw maps later in invisible ink.

"Hey, whoa, what's that?" I asked, pointing at a large head.

"One of the fallen statues. There are a few more of them," he told me simply. I looked around at the villagers, who were looking at me like I was some sort of monster. I then realized it was because I was with Gaara, and they were probably looking at him that way.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, and he looked at me with sympathy. "Or is it because I'm hanging out with you?"

"You're with me," he said quietly. "I'm the host of the one tailed demon, Shukaku."

"Oh…I never thought that a Jinchuuriki would get treated so badly. It's not fair!" I yelled. "A scroll is completely different from the contents sealed inside of it! Why can't they see that Jinchuuriki are the same way and aren't the demons themselves?"

"I…don't…know," he said quietly, staring at me. Apparently I was the only one who ever stood up for him before. "Why did you do that?"

"Because it's true! You're not a monster – you just keep it from attacking everyone else! That's not your fault it was sealed inside you!" I said indignantly. Gaara was a friend of mine, albeit a very loose meaning of the word.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Nobody has ever said anything that nice before you except Naruto…"

"Hey, you're my friend. I'm not about to let them insult you," I said putting a hand on his shoulder, but meeting up with Sand. "Oops… I guess my tantrum still gets affected by your sand even when I've calmed down…"

"How long are you staying?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"As long as I need to, I guess. I can tell whenever those rogues are getting closer to me – I start having nightmares of being back in their clutches. I don't think they'll attack me while you're near me, though."

After a few more hours, I headed off to "bed". Phantasm was pretending to be me in front of Gaara, while the real me hid and drew out maps of Konoha in urine. I would seal the scrolls of jutsu containment inside of the various scrolls, then inside the single scroll, and the single scroll in this piece of parchment.

I quickly began writing jutsu down with hand signs in a book, and was excited to find that the book had enough pages and lines for each one. One jutsu per two lines (one for title and hand signs, the other for effects), and each one page had twenty lines. Ten jutsu per page, plus one hundred and twenty pages – this book was everything I needed. Well, seven books, actually. I still had the same categories as before.

I'd filled up a few pages in the journal with random jutsu that I'd seen genin perform in this village so far, and was eager to learn more. I quickly performed my invisibility jutsu, and began lurking around different training grounds. I summoned Lucifer, and had him spy on the faster Jonin for more jutsu.

After a few more hours of using invisible doppelgangers for more jutsu, I lurked back into the bathroom to write some more. Each doppelganger had two to five jutsu memorized, and I quickly wrote them down. The doppelgangers had a certain task and category to keep an eye on, and at length, I finished my research for that night. Forty jutsu in one night was exhausting…and I was only getting started. I'd told Gaara and the others that these seven books were training manuals, and in a sense, it was true. I motioned for Phantasm to come back in, and he did when Gaara's back was turned.

I flushed the toilet and walked back out groggily. It was most definitely bedtime, and I was glad Phantasm had gone home after coming back into the bathroom. I collapsed on the bed and let sleep overcome me.

The next few days followed the same routine, and I was getting more and more wore out as the days passed. Gaara vaguely noticed, and Lucifer kept helping me with more jutsu. I'd given Lucifer the order to keep an eye on special jutsu for the seventh book, and he had done his part extremely well. I was constantly writing down jutsu to the point where I'd now have six or seven doppelgangers to help me write all the jutsu down.

At length, the second week passed in a like manner, and nobody had noticed anything. Gaara wasn't paying much attention since he was now helping the new genin train, and Temari and Kankurou were with him. Whenever another Sand ninja saw me writing, they figured it was just for fun since I'd told Temari and Kankurou that I'd wanted to be a novelist. I'd scattered my seven clones out amongst the villagers, and I was gradually earning Baki-sensei's trust. I'd befriended Gaara, who'd asked Baki to help train me in Sunagakure's ninjutsu for protection.

The third and fourth weeks passed uneventfully, and I was learning all too quickly. My seven books were almost full, and I was running out of time to find a way to seal the ninjutsu books inside my scroll and getting it home safely. I'd already sealed them, but was nervous about getting it to Orochimaru. I'd sealed it inside the Sunagakure map made of urine. I'd been writing letters to him and sticking them inside the books, but was reluctant to find his reaction about my urine map, even though I'd explained to him that I was desperate and had no other methods of secrecy at the time.

I headed out on a mission alongside Temari and Kankurou, while Gaara went on a completely separate mission. I was ready to go so I could head out and give my latest reports and findings. I'd created a few more jutsu, but not nearly as many as I had in Konoha. I knew that since I was halfway out of book space, I needed to get home and get the next set of books. I had told Kabuto of my idea, and he had helped me get the scrolls and books ready. Only he and I were able to open the books, and I needed the next set of books.

About the third day, I met up with Orochimaru, who was disguised once more in his red-haired disguise. Kabuto was once again acting as son, but so was Kimimaro, and they both had transformed themselves into having different color hair. I smiled at Orochimaru, who took me into an embrace.

"Long time no see, cousin," Kimimaro greeted, and I went to hug first him and then Kabuto. Kimimaro had chocolate brown hair like mine, and I guessed that it was to help the illusion of the fact that we were cousins.

"You, too," I said. "Still with Ichigo-san and Urahara-Sensei, I see," I grinned, pulling two names out of the hat at random. "Do you have the second set of training books like you promised?"

"Sure do!" he grinned, and handed me a scroll that contained what I knew to be seven blank books. I handed him the old scroll, and grinned widely. "I promised our parents that we'd stay together, and so I will."

"What happened to your parents? Why don't you travel together?" Kankurou asked, and Kabuto looked at him.

"Our parents were attacked by rogue ninja. Kimimaro and I are the only two survivors since our parents hid us in a graveyard and covered us in corpses. When Urahara-Sensei and Ichigo-san found us, we were half-starved. I was only five, but Kimimaro had already begun training to be a ninja. So, we started training as nomads, constantly fleeing from the rogues who attacked us," I explained, making up a very believable lie. It was somewhat true, though – he was the only one left in the clan, and my own was in a separate world.

"Wow. And I thought Gaara had a bloody past," Temari shuddered. "I feel bad for you guys. But why did you separate?"

"We thought it best since they were out to destroy the clan. With us separate, they could only focus on one at a time, giving the other a chance to reproduce," I said, and Temari nodded.

"Nice tactic," Kankurou complimented. "Well, we'd better get going if we're going to finish this mission."

"Right. Bye, Kimimaro! Ichigo-san! Urahara-Sensei!" I called back, and put my scroll in my pouch. Thank goodness they'd been there – I'd have completely run out of space to put all my new jutsu if they hadn't.

When we stumbled back into Sunagakure, things were in chaos. I was forbidden from entering, and ninja were throwing accusations at me from all directions.

"What's going on?" I asked, and Kankurou shrugged.

"Let's go," he said as he walked away from the village. I stayed by his side, and his puppets protected the both of us. "Do you want to go back to Konoha?"

"No – I was thinking about sneaking in a back way," I said, and he shook his head.

"Wait here," he said and he went back into Sunagakure. I waited for a day, practicing a few jutsu that Baki had taught me, and plopped down onto the Sand.

He walked out, beckoning me to join him. I stayed in Sunagakure for all of five hours when a kunoichi came out of nowhere and slapped me.

"What was that for?" I asked, and she glared.

"For killing our Kazekage!" she spat, and Kankurou stared. I watched her storm off, and plotted my great escape. Sunagakure was working out worse than Leaf once I was done jutsu gathering. I kept spying for another week, and overheard the elders talking about how to best kill me.

"We need to convince Gaara that she did it. It's the quickest and cleanest way," I heard them state simply, and I grinned in mirth. I was forewarned and now forearmed and dangerous.

"Thanks for the heads up, _old man_," I sneered quietly before slinking off invisibly.

Sure enough, on the next mission they gave me, Gaara was my only teammate on the A-rank mission of finding and killing the Kazekage's murderer. I knew where to find him, but Gaara was fuming silently, and I didn't want him angrier than ever. We set up camp at nightfall and he walked off without a word.

After about three hours, he came back, floating on sand. I looked at his face, and he was a combination of both happy and sad. I then realized it – this was when they were going to try to kill me.

"Wait!" I said in shock, and he shook his head. He hurled his sand at me, and I dodged it quickly. This was bad – I was on his home turf. "Gaara-san, please! What did I do? Was is something I said?"

"Where's Orochimaru?" he growled, and I dodged another attack. "Where?"

"I don't know! Nobody knows!" I cried out in shock, and had no choice but to flee this fight.

"Liar! He ordered you to kill my father! Where is he?" he yelled, tears coming from his eyes.

"I didn't do it! Orochimaru did!" I screamed in fear as I performed the required hand signs as quickly as I could. I felt the familiar burst of speed as I sped off like a rabbit at inhuman speed. I performed the hand signs once more and made myself invisible. I ran as fast as I could away from him, desperate for escape, more than happy that I'd kept all my things locked away every night and taking it with me on every mission.

I could have sworn I heard him yelling at me in rage to get back there. My spywork was near completion in Sunagakure, but it would have to do for now. Konoha could wait. I never looked back, and I continued on to a different village – Kirigakure, the village hiding in the mist. One day Gaara would understand – maybe.

When I arrived in Kirigakure, it was almost midnight. I collapsed just inside the borders of the land of Mist, exhausted. I knew of a hideout in the Mist, and immediately got up to go there. The islands that Anko had been at when she'd gotten her curse mark – that was my destination now. I got to the water's edge, and collapsed once more.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu. Korosu," I said wearily after performing the hand signs.

_**RRRRRRoooooooaaaa! **_He murmured, nudging me gently with his paw.

I grinned at him, my precious Swampert, one who would rescue me from rain, sleet, or hail. I looked at him and smiled. He was a scaly big fish-cat mixture. He was a pastel purple, with a white underbelly. Dark purple fins were on his head and for his tail, and his face had large orange-gold whiskers on the sides that looked more like spikes to me.

"Korosu, take me to the islands over there," I told him, and he gently put me on his back and started swimming through the warm waters. It was June, I realized. Just a couple more months to figure out how to get back to Arkansas, and then Joe would be coming home this month, too. Oh, well. Mom and dad are probably still mad at me for faking my death, or their still mourning cause they think I'm dead.

As we got to the shore, an otonin appeared out of nowhere. He took one look at me and must have recognized me, because I found myself being carried indoors. I let the darkness close in, and Korosu followed in suit, growling menacingly at the ninja.

"Orochimaru-sama, we found her atop this…thing…on the beach, sir," the ninja said that was carrying me. Ah, home, sweet home. I could finally get to sleep in my own bed for once!

"Set her down. I will deal with her," the Snake Sannin said, and the ninja obeyed and left. "There's no need to keep your eyes closed, pet."

I opened my eyes grudgingly, exhausted by my trip. I looked at him feverishly, and recognized Uchiha Sasuke next to him. Kabuto was also nearby, and Kimimaro was missing. I sighed, and struggled to get up. Korosu ended up helping me in that department since I couldn't stand on my own two feet without toppling over.

"Thanks, Korosu," I said gently, and he rubbed his ear against my cheek. "This is the water-style user, Orochimaru-san."

"I can tell," he chuckled. "Sasuke-kun, this is your fellow apprentice, Sarah. She is also Kabuto's fellow spy. She spies on jutsu and training methods instead of ninjas themselves. She has also been learning numerous jutsu from me. Although, Sarah-chan, I'm impressed – seven hundred jutsu in one month in Sunagakure. How did you do it?"

"Doppelgangers," I said simply. "Used six or seven to keep writing the jutsus down – one for each book – and then the others would disappear when they got two to five jutsus each. It wasn't easy."

"I should hope not!" Orochimaru laughed. "These are the village secrets you're discovering, pet. It's not supposed to be easy."

"Did you like the lie I told the two Suna-nin?" I asked, and he chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I believe that's enough about your mission for now. Go to bed, Sarah-chan. You deserve it," he said as he put his hands behind my shoulders and under my knees. I felt my world get dark, and nestled into his chest for comfort. His heartbeat acted like a lullaby, and I was soon fast asleep.

Name: Korosu Species: Swampert (Shiny) Level: 67 Beginner from Sapphire – gift from Prof. Birch Moves: Surf, Ice Beam, Muddy Water, Hammer Arm Ability: Torrent – raises water moves a pinch


	11. Kirigakure

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

After staying here for a couple of days, I headed off to Kirigakure. I walked into the village, and the Kirigakure ninja all stared at me. Oh, yeah. I'd put my Konoha and Suna clothes in my closet and was now dressed like a street urchin.

I repeated the process of jutsu research in Kirigakure that I had in Suna, and it worked surprisingly well. Nobody suspected a thing, and I was shocked to find a Kaguya clan female in the crowd.

"Hey! Hey, wait!" I called out, and she took off running. I performed my jutsu and caught up to her in ten seconds flat. "You're a –"

"Meet me later. I'd get killed if they knew," she murmured, and I nodded. Kimimaro would be so happy that he wasn't the only one – I'd probably just saved his life and his clan.

"Right. Sorry. My mistake," I said, and the two of us parted. I looked around, headed to an abandoned building, and performed the numerous doppelgangers needed to spy on the village. Right as I was about to ship them off, though, a new voice showed up.

"You've made quite the reputation for yourself," he said angrily. I whirled around to face Pein himself, and I froze. He wasn't supposed to come in until Shippuden! Shiz, man! "Who are you working for? Why did you kill the Kazekage?"

"I didn't! It wasn't me, I swear! I don't even know what she looks like!" I said quickly, and he froze.

"She? Well, this proves that you're innocent. You can't even figure it out on which sex and appearance, then you have issues," he laughed, and disappeared into the mist. Hoo, boy, I just got off really lucky just now. I'd have to keep a lower profile if I'm going to survive here.

"Well, if a rogue is after you, then I'd best take you to Lady Mizukage," a ninja said coming up behind me. Oh, crap, here we go again. It was the same way with the Elders in Suna and with Tsunade. I show the smallest signs of trouble and they want to kill me. Doesn't anyone here believe in the 'wrong place at the wrong time' theorem?

"I didn't do it, honest!" I insisted, but he dragged me back anyways. I was royally doomed now.

"We found a nomad stealing jutsus from us," the ninja said darkly, and I buried my face in the floor. I was so doomed. "This little wench's been using doppelgangers all month!"

"I was trying to find my cousin! He said he'd meet me here!" I protested angrily, and the ninja put his foot on the back of my head.

"Prove it," he spat, and I moved to face the left. "Well? Prove it!"

"You're all the same," I murmured. "This is part of why I'm a nomad – you all think you're so high and mighty because you're in one of the big five villages. I'm sick of all your crap!" I yelled, weaving hand signs angrily. I grabbed his ankle and snapped it in half with my thumb. "You want me to prove it? Fine! I'll prove it! Your third Mizukage went off to join the Akatsuki! He's the one in the orange mask!"

"What?" the fifth Mizukage yelled in shock, and I froze. Shiz. I wasn't supposed to do that. "How do you know?"

"My cousin recognized the chakra signature when he was being held captive there. He also said something about Uchihas, but I think he meant Uchiha Itachi," I said with a shrug, throwing the Chunin across the room and dropping the jutsu. "That's just what I was told, okay?"

"What other sources do you have?" the MIzukage asked, and I looked at her sadly. "None. I thought not. Get out of my office. If we catch you stealing jutsu, we _will_ kill you."

"I have stolen no jutsu, ma'am. I am a nomad – I tinker with jutsus, not steal them. I improve upon them," I corrected as I left. I felt like I was going to puke, and that was not easy. I froze, counting the weeks on my fingers. Three days in Leaf. Five weeks in Sand. Three weeks in Mist. Oh crap. Oh crap oh crap. This was not good.

I raced back out of town, scared, and not wanting to puke, but was forced to do so anyways in an alley. I then met the female Kaguya clan member just outside the village perimeter. She looked at me, and nodded, and we raced to the hideout together. I told her about Kimimaro, but locked my jaw when I started gagging over words. She got the message. I burst in, making a mad dash for the toilet as I put my hair in a low ponytail.

Sasuke was waiting for the bathroom as Kabuto was walking out, and I shoved them aside desperately and slammed the door behind me. I wretched into the basin and felt my knees and legs give out.

"Pet? Sarah?" Orochimaru asked as Sasuke came back angrily from fetching the only one with any authority over me. "Kabuto, go tend to our guest. Find out everything you can."

"Orochi," I moaned out, and he walked in to find me vomiting some more. "No…help…help…sickness…" I gasped between vomiting fits.

"Change of plans. Kabuto, come here! Sasuke-kun, take our guest into Tayuya's chambers. Let her interview our new kunoichi," Orochimaru ordered, and the two ninja hastily obeyed.

Kabuto put his hand on my back, but yanked it away in shock. He put it on there once more, and I put my chin on the rim of the toilet bowl to catch my breath. After a few minutes, I let myself fall to the floor in a crumpled and exhausted heap.

"Pregnant," Kabuto announced, and my blood both froze and boiled at the same time as I lay on the floor panting wearily. I knew my eyes looked feverish, and everything was blurry, but I could still hear him.

"How long?" Orochimaru asked as he flushed the toilet and sent snakes out for who knows what.

"She's about two months along, sir. I think it was during your honeymoon," Kabuto replied as the Sannin lifted me gently off of the floor. "I think it best that she stay on bed rest for a while. We don't know how her body will react. Besides that, she's also got a stomach bug."

"Indeed. Prepare some medicine to ease her nausea," the Sannin growled and I felt him carry me away to the bedroom.

I opened my eyes carefully. I was tired, more so than ever before. I realized that it was because I'd used the speed and strength jutsu, as well as the speed one to get me here so quickly. I put my hand up to his face in an attempt to make sure, but my arm gave out at about halfway. I felt him lower me onto our shared bed, and he put my hand on my desired destination.

"Yes, it's me, pet. How long did you know?" he growled.

"Since Kabuto told you. I'm used to my cycle disappearing for a few months, so I figured this was one of those times," I told him wearily, my voice cracking. "I don't care if it kills me. I want him or her. I can do this. I know it. I can do this. As long as you're near me, I can do this."

"You sound like you're trying to convince both of us," he frowned.

"I am. I know you don't think I can do this, and I'm scared, too, but the power of words is astounding. A man died because he told himself he was freezing to death when he was in a compartment that got no lower than fifty degrees over the course of four hours," I told him. "True story – that was in the news in my world."

"Fine – but if the baby starts to kill you, then Kabuto will be performing an emergency cesarean section," he relented. I couldn't believe it – he was going to let me have his baby! Someone pinch me!

"I won't let you down. Everything will work out fine, I promise. Heck, I might even be able to go to one of the hospitals in my world if we really needed help," I smiled. "I found a female Kaguya clan member, by the way. The one I brought with me."

"Here's the medicine," Kabuto said as he rushed in. "Do you want me to kill it, sir?"

"No. You are to perform an emergency caesarean section on her if it begins to kill her," Orochimaru said shaking his head. For a mass murderer, he knew how to make a woman happy. Especially this one.

"As you wish, my lord," Kabuto said dipping his head. "Here, Sarah-sama. This should help ease your nausea, and it's inside apple juice, not tea. I know how you despise the latter."

"Thanks, Kabuto-san," I said before chugging it down. It tasted like crap, but it was better than nothing. I sent a few doppelgangers out to the Mist, and had them become invisible to spy on the Kirigakure ninja while they trained.

After about a week, the jonin finally started hunting me down. They'd found my vomit, and one of my bunshins alerted me to the danger. I jerked upright in bed, startling Orochimaru somewhat as he was doing paperwork beside me, and making Kabuto jump as he walked into the room.

"We've got company. Kirikagure is trying to track me down. They suspect that I killed the Kazekage," I said quickly.

"Well, let's prove them wrong, shall we? You are in no condition to leave this town, Sarah. We'll stay in a hotel, meet with the Mizukage, and prove your innocence. If they ask about Kabuto, then he's your cousin. That _is _the lie you told them, is it not?"

"Yeah. I told them I was looking for my cousin. As soon as they see Kabuto tending to me, they'll have no choice but to believe me!" I said happily before gritting my teeth in nausea.

"Good. Kabuto, you know what to do," Orochimaru said simply, and Kabuto nodded.

I watched him perform the corpse reanimation jutsu on a male brunette of about twenty, and I grinned as the corpse began taking care of my every need. He'd packed plenty of herbs for nausea, and we headed out atop Korosu to the shore. I was tired – _very _tired. I fell asleep in the hotel, and awoke only to Kabuto's reanimated corpse (christened Nawaki) opening the door for the two jonin and the Mizukage.

"What the hell?" one of the jonin said loudly, and I fidgeted fitfully 'in my sleep'.

"She's ill. She's pregnant, and has a stomach bug as well. Can I help you with anything?" Nawaki asked, and the Mizukage nodded.

"We've got word that she was stealing our jutsus and killed the Kazekage. Does she have a sword?" she asked quietly.

"No. Feel free to go through her things – there's nothing there that won't prove her innocence," Nawaki invited, and I was suddenly glad that Orochimaru had performed a secret jutsu on the books. It hid the real words of my jutsus, and scrambled them up into novel ideas.

"Novel ideas, huh? So that's what she was writing all the time," one of the jonin muttered.

"Not a single sealing jutsu, Mizukage-sama," the other agreed. I felt the room begin to heat up once more, and wasn't sure if it was from the fever or their chakra becoming angry.

"Nnngh," I whined, and Nawaki immediately put his hand on my forehead. He raced over, wet a rag, and put it on my forehead. "Nnnnn…"

"Man, I wouldn't want to be a girl," one of the jonin laughed, and I heard a thumping noise.

"Shut up," the other jonin said. "Can't you see the kid's in pain?"

"What's this?" the Mizukage asked, and I felt my blood freeze. "Artwork?"

"Yeah. She likes to draw when she gets writer's block. She tried to picture one of her characters, and those were her first drafts," Nawaki explained. "She had to change her character, though when she realized he looked like a criminal, though."

"Indeed. Orochimaru," the Mizukage said simply. "And yet – there are a few things different. Ah, these must be the newer editions of the character?"

"Yes, Dan," he said simply, and I was glad to have at least one picture of Tsunade's old lover.

"Well, boys, I see nothing in either of their packs that proves they're the ones who killed the Kazekage. I think it best that we leave and let her recover while we tell Sunagakure that we've found their little nomad and proved her innocent," the Mizukage said with authority, leaving no room for arguments.

"Thank you, Mizukage-sama. If there's anything we can do to help Kirigakure, just let us know," Nawaki said kindly.

"Keep her out of our village until the other four great nations agree with us," the jonin spat in unison before slamming the door behind them.

"That went well," Orochimaru chuckled quietly as he walked in through the wall. "You can open your eyes now, pet."

"Konoha's coming," Kabuto alerted, and Orochimaru nodded before leaving once more.

"Well done," he praised as he left. Sure enough a few moments later Anko, Inoichi, Ibiki, Naruto, and Gaara showed up.

"Where – whoa," Naruto said quietly as he padded in. "What happened?"

"Stomach bug," Nawaki replied.

"Is she pregnant?" Ibiki asked, and Nawaki nodded.

"What? With – oh, no… you mean, when Orochimaru attacked her, he got her _pregnant_?" Naruto screeched.

"Naruto, shut up!" Anko hissed, looking over at me as I turned over onto my side.

"It's alright. I've given her medicine to keep her asleep. It's best to let it run its course," Nawaki told them gently. "Although she will probably still hear you if you yell like that again."

"You never answered my question," Naruto growled, and I sensed the Kyuubi's chakra. The room got suddenly hot again.

"Nnnnnnghh…" I moaned quietly, and Nawaki switched rags for a fresher, wetter one.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the Mizukage – look around, you won't find anything to convict her," Nawaki said quietly. There was the same rummaging of papers, books, scrolls, and equipment, and I vaguely felt sand creep on my bed.

"Gaara, we have to wait till she's convicted," Naruto growled, and the sand receded. I owed the Kyuubi one, by the looks of it. "Can't we get rid of that bastard's bastard spawn?"

"No – he's already found out, and he'll kill her if she does. If it dies in infancy, he won't care. But before then, he'll kill whoever does the murdering, and Sarah as well," Nawaki said defensively.

"Can I look through her mind?" Inoichi asked.

"Sure – do what you want," Nawaki said, and I felt Inoichi come into my memories.

I channeled him through to what I was doing with Tsunade, which was after the Kazekage was killed. I showed him how I'd blacked out, and showed him blackness before meeting Jiraiya, and the memories of making friends in leaf and Sand, Gaara trying to kill me. I kept my mind off of Orochimaru except for the part where he drugged me up and 'raped' me. Finally, I got tired of him being in my mind, so I pushed him out and eventually pushed to reverse the jutsu on him.

He left immediately.

"Well, the kid's innocent. She wasn't even in this world when the Kazekage was killed. She was transported here by some freak accident," Inoichi told them. Great, now they knew about my world. "The first ninja she met in our world were Jiraiya-sama with Naruto as they were trying to find Shizune and Tsunade-sama."

"You got into her mind?" Anko asked incredulously.

"Yes, but her fevered state caused her to skip around a lot. Yes, Naruto, Orochimaru's the father of her baby, but not by her choice," Inoichi told them. "She went to push the jutsu back onto me, so I had to withdraw pretty quickly."

"So – it's not her fault?" Naruto asked, and Inoichi nodded.

"That's what 'rape' is, kid. Unwanted sex for one of the party members," Anko told him, and Nawaki glared.

"Sarah doesn't need any more reminder of what happened that night. As soon as the baby's born, she's getting rid of it, and never looking back at that night," Nawaki declared as he put his arms across his chest.

"You can keep your lousy cousin," Anko spat as she walked out the door. "And tell her that Orochimaru will die at my hands."

"You wish. It'll be my hands," Naruto growled angrily. Gaara looked back, and shoved the sand into a piece of wood nearby.

"Tell her I'm sorry," the Suna-nin said quietly, and Nawaki nodded. Kabuto was losing his grip on it.

"Out, she needs to rest without disturbances, and I need to clean up so she doesn't have a panic attack when she wakes up," Nawaki said quickly, and Inoichi and Ibiki followed in suit quickly. "Thank you, and have a nice day," he said before shutting the door quickly.

I could hear him cleaning up and stacking the books back into the backpacks with doppelgangers, and hurrying to get everything spotless. I wouldn't care, though. He'd just proved me innocent – that was all I cared about.


	12. Reunions

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

I opened my eyes to the bright sun's ray's shining through the window. My fever had broken in the night, and Kabuto had cleaned up Nawaki and sealed him inside a scroll once more. Orochimaru, however, had taken his books back and put a banner in katakana on the wall.

Happy Birthday, pet! Nineteen, and more than able to go back to visit your world, if you so choose. I'll bring the scroll to you later, alongside your other gift. Love, Orochimaru

"Thanks, Snake," I yawned. I chugged down my anti-nausea medicine and got dressed. Four months left in this pregnancy, and I was more than nervous. I had Orochimaru to be at my side, so I told myself I could do this.

"Ready to go?" Orochimaru asked, and I nodded. "Name the town."

"Fayetteville, Arkansas," I said firmly, and we were transported there immediately. To my surprise, we were in the middle of Anime Club – well, in the middle of the announcements, but in the back of the room.

"In other…news…" Kena faded, staring at Orochimaru and me. Mostly at me, I think.

"'In other news' what, Kena?" Jennifer asked, and most of them were back in cosplays.

"She's … pregnant," Kena stared in shock. Orochimaru smirked in amusement and put a hand on my protectively.

"Get ready to see how much these guys are family to me," I whispered. Orochimaru gave me a 'what the hell do you think you're doing' look and I put a hand on his wrist. "Let's just say, they're bound to tackle me to the ground when they find out I'm alive," I murmured quietly below the din of the others' protesting questions. "Just bring their attention to you and see how long it takes them to see me."

"Don't you dare," he whispered back.

"Relax," I murmured, performing my invisibility jutsu. "Just create a diversion so I can get up front."

"It would help you to hear her if you were quiet," Orochimaru said loudly. Heads swerved back, and I smirked as I walked up calmly to the front of the room. I stood beside Kena, and tugged on her shirt playfully.

"My Kami, she wasn't lying," Kena said shocked. "Is she – oh, never mind," Kena laughed as she felt me tug harder on her shirt.

"Kena, how the hell did Orochimaru get in here?" Arron asked loudly.

"Why don't we ask Sarah?" Kena asked, and the others panicked.

"Drop the jutsu, Sarah-chan," Orochimaru laughed, and I dropped it immediately. Screams issued from most of the girls, and the males yelled in shock as some of them saw that I was pregnant.

"What the hell happened to you? You look like a car wreck!" Bradley said shocked and worried. Katlynn raced up to get to me, but I put a stop to it by stepping out from behind the podium.

"Holy – _you're _the one pregnant? How?" Mac yelled in shock.

"Let's not to go into details," Orochimaru said with authority as he appeared behind me, putting a hand on my stomach to prove his point. "All you need to know is that I married her before I impregnated her."

"Holy – Renate, you lucky-! That's not fair," Jennifer cried as she came up to hug me. I pulled away from Orochimaru to give her a side hug, and Katie, Arron, Bradley, and Kena followed in suit.

"Life isn't fair, child," Orochimaru mocked cruelly, pulling me back once more and into a deep kiss.

"How did you get to the front without us seeing you?" Katie asked.

"Isn't that obvious? She used an Invisibility jutsu. Created by her, of course," Orochimaru said, giving credit where credit was due.

"Wait, _you _created jutsu, Renate? Why? How?" Kena asked, and I explained to them how I'd been going through the zodiac signs and got stuck on one, and then discovered that I was invisible.

"Wait, who's on desk duty?" I asked Kena, and she laughed.

"Hotspur," she answered, and I grinned evilly. "Oh, dear. I don't like the look on your face, Renate-chan. What are you thinking?"

"Orochimaru-kun, is there a time limit on your teleportation scroll? Because if not, then I'm going to have some fun before we go home!" I grinned, and he smirked. "Yes, fun, as in the kind you would like, too."

"Good. But perhaps we should answer a few more questions – it seems one of the others looks like she's about to yell at you," he chuckled, and I looked to find that Zoe, Jazmin, and Makayla walked in.

"I ended in the Naruto world on accident, married Orochimaru, and basically became his spy," I summed up for them. "Spy for new jutsu, that is. Not like Kabuto at all."

"No, I've got much better uses for you, pet," he purred loudly, making me shiver. "How often must I tell you that you're never getting a curse mark?"

"Twenty nine times, last I checked," I chirped, and he shook his head.

"Wait, you're carrying Orochimaru's child?" Zoe asked, and I nodded warily.

"I'll bet you two are more than just loving that, aren't you?" Makayla snickered, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Damn – I mean dang – right we do," Orochimaru sneered, correcting his mistake as he caught Kena's and my evil eyes. "Perhaps we should go play that prank, no?"

"Yes," I grinned evilly, and walked off to find Hotspur. I performed the invisibility jutsu once more, and walked out of the club to find Hotspur at the children's desk with Shay.

"I miss Renate," Shay said sadly.

"Yeah, I do too. I wish she were here so we could sing happy birthday," Hotspur agreed. I began typing behind him in a blur, and he chuckled. "Speak of the devil – I think she's visiting in her sleep again."

"Think again," I grinned, and the two practically jumped out of their skins.

"Sarah? Renate? Where are you? How – how?" Hotspur stammered, while Shay kept looking around wide eyed.

"Even I can't see her," Orochimaru soothed, but this only made Hotspur all the more scared. "Hm… I think it's time to drop the jutsu, Sarah-chan. We don't want any harm coming, neh?"

"Hai, Orochimaru-kun," I laughed, and released the jutsu (Orochimaru figured out how to do that). "Hey, guys. Told you I'd be back."

"You're alive!" they breathed and took me into side hugs.

"Whoa, easy, guys," I murmured, stumbling backwards.

"Careful," they laughed as they reached out to catch me, but Orochimaru beat them to it. "Who are you?"

"Orochimaru of the Sannin, off of the show you would call _Naruto_, and husband of Sarah-chan, here," he introduced swiftly. "And father of her unborn child."

"Wow! Congratulations," they said eagerly. "How much longer?"

"About Christmas, somewhere in there," I grinned sheepishly. "I hope he or she is born in the year of the Snake."

"We should probably get going since it's night-time here," Orochimaru said, and frowned.

"Do I have to go visit them?" I whined, and he laughed.

"Whatever happened to missing your family?" he teased.

"I'm scared – what if they try to hurt you or the baby?" I fretted.

"Then I'll kill them," he said simply. "The law will have no hold since it would be self-defense. Besides that, weren't you worrying about Phantasm?"

"Oh, yeah, I need to get Phantasm to evolve before we leave here! Oops, I completely forgot!" I laughed.

"We will see you again, I'm sure," Orochimaru purred as he threw the scroll down on the ground, and it let out a puff of smoke. We were back in our island hideout, but I was contemplating where to go next.

"I wonder what my clan is doing now," I thought aloud, and Orochimaru grinned.

"I was wondering when you would ask that," he purred, and then went to get a mirror. "This will show you what they're doing, but only for you if you channel your chakra into it. Say the name, and you'll see them. Happy Birthday," he grinned.

The mirror was beautiful – it was two large snakes intertwined around the mirror itself, which was in an egg shape. It was gold, and the two snakes' heads met at the top, and their tails at the bottom to create the small hole for a string or rope.

"It's beautiful," I murmured. "Thank you so much!" I breathed and flung myself on him.

"I'm glad you like it," he purred. "I can use it as well. Show me the Denning clan that raised Sarah!"

The mirror glowed purple, and the mirror showed me the birthday party that was thrown every year for the children with the August birthdays. Kendon, one of my cousins with an August birthday, was opening presents, and there was another pile of presents that people kept glancing backwards towards. They were having a Hawaiian Luau party in the night and were using bug repelling fans & scents.

"I can't believe it! What if Sarah's alive? How is that even possible! She would have found a way back by now, right?" Bobbie asked, and I grinned. Ever the little spoiled brat on this party date. She always thought it was her party and hers alone.

"Bobbie, quit being such a bitch! This is just as much Sarah's party as it is yours!" Chrissie argued, and I grinned and laughed. "There're five people with August birthdays, you're not the only one! Now shut up and quit whining while Kendon opens his presents!"

"Guys, think about it – if she's alive, then it's only fair to get her some presents as well. I just can't believe she would disappear like that… it's so unlike her," Joseph said sadly.

"Shall I make my grand entrance?" I asked, and he nodded. "Boone Clan Birthday Party for the August Birthdays in Conway, Arkansas," I said firmly, and we were teleported to the party, alright – right on top of the pool.

Kendon screamed as he left the birthday chair, staring at me in horror and shock.

"Hello, Boones," I greeted mockingly, and their heads all turned in shock.

"Sarah! You're alive!"

"I knew you weren't dead!"

"I told you I wasn't lying!" I heard Joe yell.

"How the heck is she on the water?" one of them asked, and they all shut up as Orochimaru summoned a giant serpent.

"To answer your questions, - in order – I'm alive because I was transported to another world, not killed. I'm walking on water because I was transported to the Naruto world, and spent four days learning how to channel my chakra to enable me to do so – See Naruto Volume Ten page one-sixty-eight for details. As for Orochimaru-kun behind me – I married him, and it was his scroll that transported us here. As for the rest – well, I'm sure most of you can put two and two together," I summed up.

"You married Orochimaru? You geek!" Sam yelled before busting up laughing.

"Ha-ha, very funny," I retorted. "At least I'm married! You're not even dating yet, and I'm four years younger than you!"

"Well played," Orochimaru whispered, and I whispered a thanks.

"So, this… um…" Chrissie began, trying to strike up conversation.

"O-ro-chi-ma-ru," I pronounced slowly for them. "Yes, he's beside me. Speaking of which, we should probably get on dry ground before I make myself pass out again from overuse of chakra."

"Suit yourself," he chuckled and picked me up bridal style to carry me to the ladder in the deep end. I sat down on the slab of concrete, not in the least bit comfortable.

"Why did you marry him? He's a mass murderer!" my mother yelled angrily. Oh, dear – that little snag I didn't think she'd catch onto. From what I'd gathered, she'd been doing her research on him from the first few volumes he was featured in.

"Well, we all do many things to get what we want. I take in orphans and shinobi whose lives have become null and void, and give them a reason to live when they ask me to. Namely, give them something to work on and use them in experiments – with their permission of course, since they tell me that they'll do literally anything – and then if they die, then that's not my fault. Sarah was the first one to have conditions as to joining, and even then they were minimal. All she asked was that she wouldn't get used in an experiment," Orochimaru laughed.

"You sadistic maniac! I'm tempted to run your car off the road!" Sam yelled, and I squealed in fear.

"Sarah – Hime, what's wrong? What happened?" Orochimaru asked, immediately at my side.

"No – no – gas pedal evil – gas pedal not my friend – gas pedal not my friend – mustn't look out side window – must wear seat belt – must clutch seat belt tightly," I began sobbing.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Orochimaru growled angrily, his chakra flaring up with more bloodlust than I'd ever felt before. "Pet, is this the wreck you were telling me about?" he whispered, and I nodded. I watched as he used this sudden burst of chakra to seal the presents inside a scroll. Well, most of them anyways.

"She was screaming bloody murder for the entire hour that we waited for the paramedics and the cops to arrive," Sam defended. "She even cussed at me for the first time, and I'd never heard her cuss before! She also kept screaming about how I destroyed her car, and was scrambling to get everything in order after the wreck and picking things up like an OCD person. She was also fishing around for her IPod."

"You got what you deserved! You should have gone to jail for that you idiot! You could have _killed _me!" I screamed at him, and the life inside me kicked for the first time. I squealed, and my hands immediately jumped to my swollen abdomen as Orochimaru quickly pushed the scroll inside his kunai pouch.

"Is he alright?" Orochimaru whispered, and I stared forward in shock.

"Kicked. It kicked," I told him as I looked into his eyes. He moved behind me before he'd even asked the question and put his arms around me, one hand protectively on my stomach, the other around the Kusanagi that he'd withdrawn in a moment's notice. "The baby kicked."

"Let's not panic and scare the baby again, ne?" he teased, and I nodded sheepishly as he stepped out from behind me.

"Sarah? I'm sorry I wrecked your car," Sam said nervously eyeing the Kusanagi sword Orochimaru held.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you," Bobbie added. It was about time she said that – although she still needed to lose a lot of weight. She was fatter than I was at virgin of fourteen years, and I was pregnant! Maybe she should be forced into the ninja world – it would do her some good.

"We're sorry we never listened to you," my dad added.

"Carl still asks if you're alive," Sam added as an afterthought. "And he … never mind."

"Tell him Sarah's spoken for," Cassy said like it was obvious, staring at a suddenly jealous Orochimaru.

"Guys! I get it – you're sorry for all the wrongs you've done! Now, where exactly _is _Carl? I want to scare the crap out of him," I grinned, and Orochimaru moved protectively over me once more.

"Um… probably his house," Cassy said warily, and I grinned.

"I somewhat remember how to get there. Rabbit, or no?" I asked Orochimaru, and he smirked as he performed the hand signs. "I'll let you do it then."

"If I ever hear her whining about you again, you might not live to regret it," Orochimaru growled as he picked me up. I was tempted to smack him, but thought wiser since I was in his arms.

"We'll be back as soon as we're done kicking Carl's butt bowling!" I promised.

He raced off, and I thought about where Carl lived. After a few wrong turns, we finally got to his house. I grinned, and sheepishly knocked on the door. Carl's mom answered it, confused, and then asked who did what this time.

"Is Carl home?" Orochimaru asked, and I squeezed his wrist in warning.

"He's just a classmate; nothing more," I assured Orochimaru as the woman went to retrieve her son.

"Hell – Sarah! You're alive! And … dating?" Carl asked confused, and I shook my head.

"Carl, this is Orochimaru, my husband. Orochimaru, this is Carl, my classmate from Comp I class. Speaking of which, how'd our teachers react to my disappearing?" I asked, and Carl shook his head in astonishment.

"You're pregnant," he said dumbfounded. "Oh, sorry, sorry – come on in, make yourselves at home," Carl invited opening the door.

"That doesn't mean you attack people, Orochimaru. Kusanagi away," I hissed, and he sheathed it in his mouth. "Thank you."

"Sarah! Whoa – did Carl do that?" his sisters asked, and Orochimaru leered and held me protectively. "I'll take that as a no."

"Go play Barbie's or something," Carl said shooing his sisters off. "Sorry about them. What's up? Where'd you go off to? And how did you get a Naruto character for a husband?"

"Um, freak accident that landed me in the Naruto world, I intervened before the Sannin Showdown, and basically met up with him afterwards and we hit it off from there. A month later we were married, I was pregnant within the month," I summed up.

"N-nice! Congrats," he said sincerely. A clock chimed, and Orochimaru jumped at the sudden noise, glancing around for its source.

"It's a clock, Orochimaru-kun. It does that once an hour," I laughed mockingly.

"Bitch," he muttered under his breath, and I barely caught it.

"Touché," I murmured in reply. "Thanks, Carl. Find anyone else to date?"

"Uh… no…" he said simply. I grinned.

"The bowling alley's still open, right? Well, me and Orochimaru versus you and your clan," I smirked.

"Oh, rematch, huh? It's on!" Carl laughed.

"Ah, ah, ah," I teased. "I won by a landslide last time!"

"You had bumpers last time!" he retorted. Okay, I'll give him that one. But I was better now. _Way_ better.

"Okay, then. Race you to the bowling alley. Last one there pays for it," I grinned, and he rallied his clan together and headed out to the car. "Oh, we'll be going on foot. We'll see who gets there first."

"Ready," Orochimaru laughed, and Carl began backing out of the driveway. He revved the engine as Orochimaru picked me up bridal style, and the race began.

I watched Orochimaru weave through traffic like a bullet, following the highway. We'd left Carl in our dust a long time ago, and I was now giving him directions to the Bowling Alley.

"Take a left!"I said suddenly, and he veered left. After racing alongside the road on the sidewalk (nobody saw us b/c we were too fast), he veered and I gave him more instructions. "Left! Straight! Straight! There – off to your left!"

He turned gracefully into the parking lot, covered in sweat from the evening's heat and mugginess, and slowed down while stopping the jutsu. After about two minutes we headed inside into the cooler building, and sat down to let him rest. About ten minutes later, once Orochimaru had caught his breath, I grinned as Carl came in with his clan.

"Ready to get squashed again?" I teased, and their jaws dropped.

"You – how?" he asked, and I grinned.

"We've got our ways. A ninja never reveals their secrets," I replied mystically. "No bumpers, either," I grinned.

"What? You kept pressuring me to use them last time!" Carl objected, and I laughed.

"We won, so we make up the rules. No bumpers and you're paying," I taunted in a sing-song voice.

Once we were all ready, it was my turn to go first. We had the lane for the game, and I grinned. I was _so _going to cream him again! Sure enough, the first turn to bowl I got a spare by one pin. Carl missed one pin (the middle back one), Orochimaru got a strike, and Carl's sisters got spares as well, while his parents got strikes. Orochimaru didn't miss a turn at all, and rolled constant strikes, and I soon managed to follow in suit after two more spares. Carl kept missing one or two pins, with the occasional spare or strike. His sister was in between him and me, and wasn't doing too bad. His parents were hitting all strikes and spares – not bad. I was wearing out, though, and took a chakra pill covered in a small snack for some energy.

At the end of it all, I ended up with two hundred points – a new record for me – and Orochimaru ended up with a few more hundreds since he kept getting all strikes. Carl and his sister had the same as me, and they stared in shock as Orochimaru kept bowling and wiping the floor with the records. Finally, the store owner came over and asked which one of us knew Orochimaru, and I grinned like a canary that's just eaten a very large bird.

"He's broken all records we've ever held," the man said shocked as Orochimaru hit the eight hundred mark after his thirty-fifth strike in a row. If someone didn't stop him, he'd break the record so bad that nobody would ever be able to break it again.

"Yeah, that's my Orochi for you. What's up?" I asked the manager.

"Can you get him to stop? He's broken all records and we want to keep our records breakable…" the man said quietly. "We'll do anything! Just stop him! I don't care if he paid for endless bowling until he doesn't get a strike – get him to stop!"

"Ne, Orochimaru-kun, shouldn't we get back to the party?" I asked, and he licked his lips. "Dad gum, ninja bowling much?"

"I want to see how many strikes I can get in a row. It's fun to watch the destruction of these pins," he grinned as he threw the ball down and ended up breaking one of the pins. "I told the man to give me endless rounds. I intend to get my money's worth!"

"Okay, you broke one of the pins – which has never been done before, mind you – and broken all records. Let's go, before we get in too much trouble!" I squealed, and everyone stared at our lane numbers.

"Are you daft? I'm having fun!" he grinned, and I shook my head and stalked off. "Get back here, woman, or you won't get any jutsu for a month!"

I dashed back madly, knowing he'd go through with it. I watched as he hit nine hundred, and then missed the strike by one pin.

"Damn it!" he said as he stomped his foot. Ooh, he was raging. Still, he'd gotten most of his rage out bowling, so I figured this was something we needed to set up for ourselves later. Well, once I had the baby anyways. Maybe motherhood was a good thing, after all.

"Let's go! The party's probably over!" I said as I dragged him away. The manager came back out, blushing embarrassedly in shock and embarrassment, and carrying something under his arm.

"Thank you for bowling with us tonight, sir. Um… you're the first person to break the record in a long time," he said honestly. "Nobody was ever able to get over seven hundred twenty. How did you do it?"

"Aim and endurance," Orochimaru said bored. "Consolation prize?"

"Ah, yes," the manager said nervously. "You may keep the bowling ball if you wish." Orochimaru stared at him like he was an idiot. "Um… is there something different you'd like?"

"Do you have a sword?" Orochimaru asked, and the man shook his head, terrified. "Well, then, no. Sarah, why don't you pick something?"

I hesitated, not knowing what to get. "What are all my options if I live out of town?"

"Um… we have …um… endless bowling? Lifetime passes to any and all bowling alleys in the United States?" he guessed, and we shook our heads. "Okay, we _do _have one more thing available, but… it's usually forbidden…"

"Well?" Orochimaru said stamping his foot impatiently.

"It's – well, it was _supposed _to go with animal control, but they refuse to come get it… it's a Python…" he said slowly, and Orochimaru and my ears perked up.

"We'll take it!" I said quickly, and the man dashed into the back room and brought out a bucket. "Wow, an honest to goodness wild python!"

"Otaku," Orochimaru chuckled, and I glared at him for a few seconds, and then went back to staring at the python.

"So, um, do you want a ride to your house?" Carl asked kindly, and I shook my head.

"We've got it, thanks," I said gently as Orochimaru put our scroll down on the parking lot asphalt. "Home!" I said quickly, and it teleported us back to our bedroom. Orochimaru put the scroll down on his desk, and the new python in a small box. I grinned widely at how it wasn't even noon here yet, and put the scroll back down on the floor of our bedroom.

"That was interesting," Orochimaru said bored. "Your friend wasn't much competition, though."

"Joshua Spann," I said quickly as I placed the scroll back on the floor. We were yanked back to the birthday party, and I suddenly realized that he had finally snapped.

"Where is she? Where is Sarah?" I heard Josh yelling angrily. I held my hand up to Orochimaru, grinning.

"It's my turn," I told him quickly. "Should we take him and Bobbie back to Otogakure, or not?"

"No," he whispered. "It's a waste of time trying to train them. Bobbie might be able to carry Jirobo's child, though. Is she pregnant?"

I snickered. "No," I whispered, stifling another snicker. "Watch me work. I want to show you how much I've grown."

"Fine – but make sure that we can hide the body without the faintest trace," he growled quietly. I grinned as he went home, leaving me with the scroll.

I created a water bunshin, and Josh fell for the perfect blunder. I grinned and watched the water bunshin lure him away from the clan that had raised and turned its back on me for so long. More and more water bunshins appeared as I hid in the nook that was the side yard beside Michelle's old house.

"Damn it, bitch! Show yourself before I kill everyone in your family!" he yelled, and I froze in my tracks. I used the water whip jutsu, restraining him and taking the gun out of his hand. He was now paralyzed, so he couldn't fight when one of my water bunshins pulled the gun out with her own water whip.

"Only a coward takes a hostage!" I sneered along with my bunshins. I dispersed them once they were on the water. The gun was now sinking to the bottom of the deep end of the pool.

"Come out, you bitch!" he yelled angrily.

"I go to movie premiers – see my moves in the anime! Living two lives _is _a little weird…yeah. But school's cool, cause nobody knows! Yeah I get to be a small town girl, but big time when I use my hand signs – I've got the best of both worlds! Chilling out, take it slow – then I rock out their show! I've got the best of both worlds!" I sang loudly, and he turned on me. "The best part is that I get to be whoever I want to be! Who would have thought that a girl like me would double as an otonin? I've got the best of both worlds! I've got the best of both worlds! Chilling out, take it slow – then I rock out their show! I've got the best of both worlds! Without the shades and the hair, I can go anywhere!"

"Shut up!" he yelled out angrily. I found my old ipod, used an amplification jutsu, and turned it onto the Gremlin's Theme.

"You never can tell – there just might be a Gremlin in your house," I grinned evilly and let the addicting song run its course. I used jutsu and began using genjutsu to confuse him. I'd have done better, but I didn't want to risk my child's safety.

"nananananaaanananananaaaaa!" I started singing alongside, and then my bunshins and I started cackling with the Gremlins at the end of the song as I tied him up.

"You useless bitch!" he yelled angrily as he went to attack me, but was stopped as a shadow came out to paralyze him.

"Shikamaru-san!" I said in alarm as I watched Shikamaru stumble out of the underbrush. "How'd you get here?"

"How should I know? This is such a drag. We should turn him in to this world's ANBU," he said simply before yawning loudly.

"Nah, I've got something _much _better in mind for him," I grinned, and I pushed him back through the portal. "See you on the other side, Shikamaru-san," I said before pushing him through back to Konoha where he could report to Tsunade.

"Sarah, wait! What's going to happen to him?" Bobbie asked worried, and I grinned.

"You're welcome to join me if you'd like to know," I invited. "I can assure you nobody will be experimented upon unless they try to kill me or my unborn child."

"Wait, you're pregnant?" Chrissie, Cassy, and most of the others just now realized.

"I've been pregnant for five months," I said matter-of-factly, my tone asking whether or not they had brains. "And married for five months and one week."

"Oh my gosh!" Chrissy and Cassy gushed excitedly. "Boy or girl?"

"What does it matter? The clothes are the same either way for the first few weeks," I said shrugging. "I don't care, but I'm not sure about Orochimaru-kun. He'll probably want a boy so he can have an heir."

"How can you not care what gender you're going to have?" they asked dumbfounded, and I rolled my eyes.

"I love my husband, and it doesn't matter whether our baby is a boy or a girl – I'll love him or her just the same," I said patting my stomach as the small life inside me kicked once more. "Feels like someone wants to go back near daddy. I'd better go – I don't want to risk anything. I love you guys," I said as I waved at them as the scroll unraveled itself.

"Sarah wait!" Sam yelled and raced forward.

"Home!" I said quickly, and it teleported me home alongside itself.


	13. The Arrivals

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"Any luck with Uchiha?" I asked two and a half months later. I'd headed back to Konoha so as not to arouse suspicion, much to Kabuto and Orochimaru's chagrin. I grinned, recalling the argument I'd had with them.

"I'm telling you, this plan's perfect!" I argued. "I go back to Konoha to have the baby. Then, you attack in an attempt to get me and the baby back, and then I get exiled as a hero. Problem solved!"

"She makes a point. She and the baby would be safe, and neither would get in trouble for being a spy," Kabuto said awed.

"No, no, and no. give me one good reason," Orochimaru growled.

"Tsunade's in Konoha and said that she would help me in the childbirth," I argued, and he stared at me.

"Fine," he grumbled in defeat. My mind snapped to the present as someone walked in.

"Good afternoon, Tsunade-sama," Sakura said cheerfully, and I sighed.

I was a couple of weeks later in the pregnancy now than my mother had been when she'd had me, so I guessed I was doing good. The baby kept kicking and pushing up against my lungs. I would sometimes wake up at night unable to breathe, and bang on the table to get a panicked nurse or Sakura to rush to my aid. Naruto had been visiting often until Jiraiya took him on his training trip, and Ino hadn't let that grudge go from that mission to Tanzaku, even though I'd ended up saving her life.

"You never answered my question," I reminded the medics.

"No," Sakura sighed, as I wheezed when the baby kicked up against my lungs. "Here – oh, dear. It looks like the baby's getting a little overcrowded. Do you want us to perform a caesarean section?"

"No," I wheezed. "Not safe – I barely lived – born three months early – Ow…"

"Okay, just take this. It should help the baby settle down a little," Tsunade soothed as she put a glass of water to my lips with a large pill. I choked down the pill, and downed the entire glass. I looked at the clock – nine o'clock. Just about bedtime – so much for a Halloween baby.

"Thank you," I coughed. "Happy Halloween, Sakura-san, Tsunade-sama."

"No problem. Happy Halloween to you, too," they smiled gently.

"Ah! Tsunade-sama!" I panicked, feeling a slight pop.

"Easy, Sarah-san. Oh," Sakura realized, and her eyes widened.

"Alright, just keep your breathing even, Sarah. Everything's going to be fine. You and the baby will be just fine, I promise. I can assure you, I'll do my best for the both of you," Tsunade said gently.

"It's coming," I realized that I'd complained to myself too soon. "No – it's too early! Isn't there a way to stop it?"

"No time!" Sakura panicked, and I shook my head. "Just try to keep your breathing even."

"Ow…" I whined, and they gently helped me get my panties off. Luckily, they had insisted that I wear nothing but maternity dresses since I'd hit my third trimester.

I kept my eyes on a photo that Tsunade had brought of them as children – she'd meant for me to look at Jiraiya in it, but I instead looked at Orochimaru, picturing him at my side now. It eased the pain, until another labor pain would wash over me. I was vaguely aware of the two kunoichi putting on gloves to help me with the labor, and flinched as one began poking my stomach.

"Stop," I whined, cringing in pain and closing my eyes tightly. I could feel her helping my body in its preparations, and I went back to focusing on keeping my breathing even and picturing Orochimaru beside me.

"I need to do this to help you," Tsunade hissed as he helped my body some more, and I was to the point of wanting to writhe in pain.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" I said banging my fist on the table beside me.

In desperation, I grabbed one of the medical tools, and began pushing it into the hard wood of the table, and it dug in cleanly. It helped me feel a little better, so neither cared much. Either that, or they were too focused on other parts of their duties than to focus on the furniture.

"Alright, Sarah-san, push," Sakura ordered, and I moved my head from side to side, biting down on my lower lip.

"Push!" Tsunade repeated, and I had no choice but to obey.

"I can't! It hurts!" I whined loudly as the pain increased tenfold.

"No! You _can_! You have to! The less you push, the longer it will take and the more danger you and the baby are in! Now push!" she ordered, and I couldn't help but cry as I pushed as hard as I could.

"Mmnnngh!" I whined through biting my lip.

"That's it," she soothed. "You're doing great. Alright, each time I tell you to push, start pushing and count to three. Ready? Push!"

I held my breath as I pushed with everything I had. This was excruciating – more so than anything else I'd ever felt before. Not even Inoichi's mind tricks and tortures were this bad, and that was saying something. We would end up repeating this process for a couple more hours. I felt like I was dying.

"Push!" she ordered again at about eleven o'clock, and I obeyed.

"No…Wait," I gasped as another labor pain washed over me. I was tired, sweaty, and in a lot of pain for a prolonged period of time. Something wasn't quite right – I could feel it. I realized that I'd lost consciousness for a few seconds while I caught my breath.

"No waiting," Sakura breathed gently, her voice cracking with nausea. "Just a little further. You're almost done. I can see the top of the head. Now, push! Push! Push!"

I pushed a few more times, getting more and more wore out with each time. I stopped to catch a breather, and pushed one final time with everything I had, crying out in pain.

"AAAAAH!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, my body a mass of intense pain.

"Waaah!" I heard from near Tsunade, and I gasped in pain as I realized that I'd done it and survived.

"Well done, Sarah! It's alright, he's alright," Tsunade soothed as she began rubbing him gently. "He's perfectly healthy. I just need to clean him up and circumcise him, then he's all yours, I can assure you."

"It's not every day a kunoichi bears a child to one of the three Sannin – actually, I think you're the first. Isn't she?" Sakura said shocked, and I looked over to find Tsunade nodding.

"Indeed, she is," Tsunade chuckled. "Orochimaru's probably going to be furious that we've got his son and its mother. Sakura, stay here and help her with the baby and paperwork. I'm going to go get the ANBU on high alert."

"So…cute…" I gasped as Sakura placed my newborn on my lower chest, and I paid no heed to what the medic did after that point. "Akuma. You little devil," I crooned to my newborn. I heard the door open, and looked up to find Tsunade gone.

"Orochimaru-sama, it's a boy," Kabuto told Orochimaru a few days later. "They're fine. She's exhausted, but she accidentally opened five of the inner gates during the labor. She'll likely be exhausted for a few more days. Should we attack yet?"

"No," Orochimaru said firmly. "We'll need to wait until the baby is strong enough to travel, but not so long as to let Konoha recover."

"Of course, sir. Sarah-sama's likely to be loopy for a while, and I'm not exactly sure if she's named him yet… they've circumcised him already, and sealed off both ends of the umbilical cord," Kabuto reported as he walked into a lab behind Orochimaru, who had donned medical gloves. "If I'm correct, her body's already begun healing itself at an alarming rate."

"How interesting," Orochimaru chuckled, pulling out his own obsidian mirror that he'd made as a sister of my gold one. "Akuma – that's the perfect name for my first child. Well chosen, Sarah-chan. Rest well, pet – you deserve it."

"We were lucky – it's eleven fifty, just barely a Halloween baby," Iruka laughed as he stared at the now-week old Akuma. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," I replied, still out of breath as I tried to sit up. "Ow…ow…"

"Here," Kurenai said as she lifted me up to let Akuma nurse. "Hm…Akuma would be a name Orochimaru chose, not you."

"That's what I was calling him," I chuckled, and felt sleep begin to overtake me. "Iruka-san…Kurenai-Sensei… stay…"

"I will," they promised, and she began braiding my hair as I fell asleep.

I looked around, once again looking at the world that I'd left for my life as a ninja and now a mother. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I looked around to who I wanted to tell first. Kena was at her desk, so I raced behind her and opened a new tab in her internet browser. She, Shay and Hotspur knew the routine by now, so she let me type.

_A boy. We're safe & healthy, as far as our medics know. I'm worn out. He's so amazing. 1K% worth every bit of waiting and pain. His name is Akuma. Sarah/Renate PS. Pass it on to the others. (^.^)_

"oh my… I will, Renate-chan. Congrats," Kena whispered, and I couldn't help but race off to tell someone else. I knew she'd pass it on to Shay, Hotspur, Caitlyn (the librarian), and Anime Club.

I raced off and borrowed Joe's phone to text Sam the good news. Two brothers with one stone was the perfect idea. I knew they'd pass it on to the rest of the clan, so I raced off to tell Carl. Alas, he was in the middle of Keyboarding Applications class. I began typing in lightning speed, scaring the crap out of the teacher. The teacher and him stared at the flying keys, and the teacher read the note in confusion as Carl's eyes widened. He erased the message, but surprised me with a soft smile. I knew I had nobody else to contact, until I realized with a jolt that I had no way of letting my favorite teachers know. I raced onto my high school email and emailed my old teachers and classmate friends the good news.

I was still excited beyond belief at how healthy Akuma was. I raced back to my body in an attempt to wake up, but with no such luck. I looked around in my head, and realized that the cage that was once filled with a large snake was now empty.

"Well, looks like you really are a devil, Akuma-chan," I said gently. I felt a gentle tugging on my chest, and forced myself to wake up.

"Good morning," Kurenai said gently as she held Akuma up to me so that my child could nurse. "He's premature, but his bill of health is clean. His lungs were a little underdeveloped, but Tsunade-sama healed that very quickly."

"I didn't teach you how to open the inner gates, did I?" Guy asked worried from behind her, and I shook my head.

"No, why?" I asked confused. The four Jonin and Sakura looked at each other, their faces saying everything. "I…opened them in childbirth?"

"Yes, that's what Sakura was saying," Kakashi confirmed. "She was terrified – but, your eight inner gates aren't as strong as Lee's – not yet, anyways. Your chakra is much stronger, but his taijutsu was better."

"Besides that, your body used the eight inner gates to protect itself and ensure its – and Akuma's – safety," Asuma continued, cutting him off. "And it was completely accidental. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually."

"Thanks, guys," I said sheepishly. "Am I in trouble or something? There's always been at least two ninjas in here since Akuma was born."

"No, Tsunade-sama wants you to be safe. It's just a precautionary measure," Kakashi said before poofing away.

"I'll be staying with you," Kurenai soothed, and the other two jonin left. "Hinata's coming by as well to keep you company."

A soft knock came at the door.

"Speak of the devil," I chuckled. "Come in."

"Ah, C-congratulations, S-Sarah-chan," Hinata said softly as Tenten, Kiba, Shino, and Lee followed her in.

"Yeah, congrats," Kiba repeated, and Akamaru yipped. "A Halloween baby, huh? I'll bet Orochimaru's loving that, the bastard."

"He doesn't even know the baby's born yet, I don't think," I said shaking my head. "But, he does know about my being pregnant. He tried to kidnap me a few months ago while I was in Kirigakure. That' s why I came back here. Speaking of which, where's Naruto-san?"

"He's off training with Jiraiya-sama. Smart thinking," Tenten laughed, and Neji raced in.

"Guys, we're under attack! Orochimaru!" he yelled in earnest, and the other genin all raced out.

"Go, I've escaped him while pregnant, I can escape with a child," I ordered Kurenai, and she shook her head. I could both see and hear the explosions from across the village, and giant snakes were once again attacking the walls.

"Arrogant bastard," Kurenai muttered. "He may have attacked once, but he won't destroy us this time."

"Kurenai, out. Sarah, get Akuma ready. Orochimaru's pissed off – he's agreed to halt his attack on Konoha in exchange for the two of you," Ibiki ordered as he and Anko raced in, and Kurenai nodded and raced out to join Asuma.

"He won't get very far – your bastard child will be dead before you reach the gates," Anko growled, and I steeled myself for a fight.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu! Phantasm!" I yelled, and my beloved Zoroark appeared.

_**! **_

"Translation: Bug off," I said simply, staring at him as he transformed into a perfect copy of Orochimaru.

_**GGGRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**_!

"Get away from my son, or I'll let him do it," I threatened, and Anko backed off. I could hear the jonin and chunin panicking outside, and Anko raced out to join them. I stared at Ibiki, not sure of what to do.

Ibiki raced off to join the battle front, leaving me alone with Akuma. Suddenly, my strength failed me, and I felt my legs cave in. I moved myself back onto the bed, tired, and sat and watched the destruction around me. I pulled my mirror out of a sealing scroll I'd had, and sent a snake to lock the door.

"Show me Orochimaru," I whispered, and it began to glow purple before showing me Tsunade's office. They were arguing fiercely, and my and Sasuke's names came up. Tsunade wanted Sasuke back and to stop the attack on Konoha, but Orochimaru wanted me and Akuma.

I gathered up Akuma, resealed the mirror, and changed into my ninja gear. I bolted out of the hospital window, leaping from rooftop to rooftop towards the Hokage tower. Leaf and Sound both saw me as an ally, so neither attacked me. I leapt onto the awning, out of breath, and stared at the two Sannin as Orochimaru stared at me and Akuma.

"Why not make a compromise?" I panted, and Tsunade wheeled around. "Sasuke come back to leaf about – oh, a month and a half – after Naruto gets back. Then both of you get what you want. As for the attack on Konoha – it's about me, isn't it?"

"I hate to say this, but she makes a point. You're right, Sarah. He wants you and Akuma. Compromise is a compromise. We hand over Sarah and Akuma, and in exchange, you stop attacking Konoha and give Sasuke back two months after Naruto gets back from his training trip with Jiraiya," Tsunade bargained.

"Sasuke-kun came to me on his own accord," Orochimaru countered. "I will stop my attack on Konoha in exchange for Sarah and Akuma. Sasuke-kun is a completely separate matter. Five forbidden jutsu and you'll get him back at the requested time."

"No dice!" Tsunade yelled angrily. "No jutsu will be traded to you, you bastard snake!"

"Fine, then I want a medic – that you've personally trained – in exchange for Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru purred. Tsunade froze, weighing her options.

"On the one hand, I can let you keep the Sharingan. On the other, I can give you an invaluable tool. Damn you," Tsunade yelled angrily. "Fine! I'll train a medic and you'll give me back Sasuke two months after Naruto gets back from training with Jiraiya!"

"Pleasure doing business with you," Orochimaru purred, and Tsunade started growling angrily.

"Get out of my village," she growled. "Before I change my mind."

"Sarah, we're leaving," Orochimaru said, and I nodded. I followed halfway through the office and turned back to Tsunade.

"I'm willing to go with him if it keeps Konoha safe. Besides, I've still got a target on my back from those rogues who tried to kill my family. More so now that I've joined the Sound and had a kid!" I assured her, faking sorrow.

"Good luck," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I told her as I left.

Orochimaru gave the signal flare for the retreat, and the otonin fled out from Konoha. All of the Konoha ninja gathered at the gates, and Tsunade held a hand up to stop them. She nodded, and Orochimaru put a hand menacingly on the back of my neck to lead me out back towards Oto.

"Orochimaru has agreed to stop his attacks in exchange for his child and its unwilling mother. She is to be known as a hero," I heard Tsunade begin to explain.

As soon as we were out of the sight of the village, I stopped my sorrowful act and perked up. Orochimaru smirked, performing the hand signs for our speed jutsu, and put his arms under me to carry me bridal style once more. We smiled and looked at our son snoozing peacefully in my arms. He woke up about halfway home and began crying loudly.

"Oops," I chuckled. "Looks like someone's hungry. He's not the only one, either. Do you mind if I feed him?"

"Why would I?" Orochimaru smirked, and I glared at him. "Something wrong, _dearest_?"

"I can't exactly nurse a child without covering," I said. Good snakes, did I really have to spell it out to him? "Don't you have a blanket or something I can use to cover up with?"

"Just a little further, pets," he murmured, and reached an unknown destination that looked eerily like a deserted clearing. "Here it is – one of our hideouts. Shiroga," he called, and the doors opened up into the ground.

"You never cease to amaze me," I told him, and he smiled.

"Ah! Orochimaru-sama – I," the otonin stopped cold, staring at Akuma wailing. "Can I help you, sir? Hot shower? Dinner? Experiment subject?"

"Dinner and a blanket, Shiroga," Orochimaru ordered, and the otonin veered off. "He's in charge of this hideout while I'm gone."

"Here's the blanket, sir," Shiroga said as he returned carrying a large, soft, dark purple blanket that was Orochimaru's favorite color. "I'll get started on dinner right away."

"Thanks," I said as Orochimaru used his tongue to put the blanket over me and Akuma so the latter could nurse.

He set me down gently on one of the chairs, and I leaned back so as to make it more comfortable for me. By this point, I was stiff and sore, and was almost missing Konoha and the friends I'd made there. I wondered vaguely if the Sannin trio would let me visit back. I noticed that Orochimaru's eyes never left me until Shiroga brought two large plates of food to the table.

"Is there anything else, Orochimaru-sama? Anything for the Madame?" Shiroga asked, and I glanced at Orochimaru, not used to being called something that wasn't my name.

"Not for me, no. Sarah?" he asked, and I stared at him. "I'll take that as a no for now."

"Orochimaru-sama, if I may be so bold… who is she, sir?" I heard Shiroga ask quietly.

"My wife," Orochimaru retorted, "And the mother of my child. Now leave."

"Of course, sir," Shiroga said bowing lowly, "My apologies and congratulations."

He ate in silence, and I stared at my food a while I would be eating with one hand and holding Akuma up with the other. Orochimaru noticed and summoned a large snake to hold him up to me so I could eat.

"Thanks, love," I said before beginning to wolf down my food. It was a simple plate of stir fry and eggs, but they were all soft enough so my stomach wouldn't get upset. Shiroga must have taken Akuma's tender age into account, I realized dimly. I felt a twinge of regret that I hadn't been able to tell Naruto or anyone else good-bye as I left Konoha, knowing that they'd have done the same act of kindness Shiroga had.

"Off to bed," Orochimaru chuckled. I stared at him in disbelief, Akuma and I not finished with our meals yet. "Once the two of you are done eating, you're going to bed. I can't have the mother of my child in bad health. I'll tend to his needs, pet."

"Yes, love," I said, feeling like he was acting like my dad.

*Name: Phantasm Species: Zoroark Level: 40 1st appeared in chapter 5 as a Zorua


	14. Killing Serial Killers

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"Show me Naruto Uzumaki," I told my mirror, and it showed him on his training trip with Jiraiya. I was still lying in bed, so I was technically obeying orders, and Akuma was lying in his basinet nearby gurgling happily as orochimaru dangled a snake over his crib.

"Why must you show an interest in the kyuubi brat?" Orochimaru growled angrily, and I sighed.

"Because, he's a friend of mine, and I don't leave my friends behind. Now, is there a way to get him some mail, or not?" I asked, and Orochimaru snorted.

"Most definitely _not_! The Orochi chooses its host, and has chosen our son – I shall find him a tutor eventually," Orochimaru ridiculed.

"Ooh, it found him!" I grinned gleefully. Naruto was with Jiraiya in a hotel/spa combo, and had just picked up the mail.

"Ero-Sennin! It's from Konoha! And it's yellow!" Naruto yelled urgently, and Jiraiya yanked the letter out of the envelope. "What's it say? What's it say?"

"Orochimaru attacked again," Jiraiya said dumbfounded, and Naruto growled angrily. "Among the dead are…well, see for yourself. Nobody you know, I think."

Mitarashi Anko – Injured

Morino Ibiki – injured

Yuhi Kurenai – Injured

Hyuga Hiashi – Injured

Hyuga Neji – Injured

Senju Shiragi – Deceased

Kagami Hiragata – Deceased

Uchiha Sasuke – Missing

Hyuga Hanabi – Missing

Aburame Kira – Missing

Inuzuka Shirai – Missing

Inuzuka Hirana – Deceased

Hatake Kirari – Missing

Denina Akuma – Sacrificed as Tribute

Denina Sarah – Sacrificed as Tribute

Please help us heal or find as many of these ninja as you can. Konoha is also in desperate need of your help if you are a Konoha Ally. If anyone sees Orochimaru, kill him on sight, and bring Denina Sarah & Akuma home safely.

"What does it mean 'sacrificed as tribute'? how the hell does that happen?" Naruto asked angrily, and Jiraiya put his hands up to calm the jinchuuriki. "And who the hell is Akuma? Sarah's brother?"

"Naruto, when someone is sacrificed as Tribute, they're forced into exile for the sake of the village. Whether it's as a rogue or into a new village's hands, I'm sure she'll be fine. Besides, that's the Hokage's place to judge, not ours. As for Akuma – that's Sarah-chan's kid, Naruto," Jiraiya said calmly, and Naruto stared at him. "It's kind of like you being sacrificed to host the Kyuubi. It's to keep the village safe."

"I looked to Sasuke like a brother! I looked to Sarah like she was my sister, and that bastard feels free to take both my brother and sister away? I'll kill him!" I saw Naruto yell angrily, the Kyuubi's chakra getting out of control.

"Show me Samuel Denning," I said, switching so that the Kyuubi's chakra wouldn't take over. The mirror glowed purple again, and my brother showed up on it, apparently on a date with one of my female friends from Anime Club.

"So, you know the Denning's daughter, right? The one that disappeared mysteriously," Zoe said awkwardly, and Sam nodded. "Well, I knew her back in high school really well. We were practically sisters and almost joined at the hip. I wish I could go back and tell her that I'm sorry I got on her case so much. I was just so _angry _back then because of all the crap my parents gave me."

"Yeah, I agree," Sam said gently. "My sister always was a crack-head, even though she never did drugs. She would often call herself 'Orochimaru's wife' or 'Kabuto's sister' or something like that. She was _way _too into Naruto. She was always writing self insertion fanfics in her free time, until she got stuck and started writing novels based off of her life instead, with her main male character based off Orochimaru in appearance, a completely separate one in personality."

"Are we talking about the same one, here?" Zoe asked, and Sam nodded.

"She went to Ramay Junior High for three years, Fayetteville High for her sophomore year, Conway for her junior year, got her GED about a week into her senior year, and started College that next spring. Always wore a sound headband?" Sam asked, and Zoe nodded.

"Yes! She's your sister?" Zoe asked, and Sam nodded before sighing heavily. "Well, at least she went down defying school. I'm sure that made her happy."

"She's alive, you know. She's just hiding in another country," Sam told her, and Zoe stared. "Nobody knows which one. She sends us mail once a month and then moves to a different country once she does."

"Heh, I'm not surprised. Hey, have you heard about that serial killer out in Vegas? The one they're calling 'Naruto' because he's leaving tattoos on people to make them look like Naruto characters?" Zoe asked, and I gasped in shock. I was obsessed with the show, I knew, but this was absurd. "So far, there are nine different people – Naruto, Iruka, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, Kiba, Neji, Jiraiya, and Tsunade. They say that it's going in order of people Naruto fights for respect. Well, they forgot Mizuki, Zabuza, Haku, and Orochimaru, so every Naruto fan is waiting to see which one of those four comes up next."

"How interesting," I laughed. "Should we go help them, or just watch?"

"Watch, of course!" Orochimaru cackled evilly. "I'm beginning to like this serial killer. Making dead men out of Naruto-kun and Jiraiya – this I can live with."

"And if they make a dead man out of you?" I asked with an eyebrow raised, and his chakra was once again filled with blood lust. "Never mind, I can already tell your answer."

"Bed time," Orochimaru said with finality, taking the mirror from me. "Now, and I don't want any arguments – we've both had long days."

"You brought that one on yourself, mister," I laughed, but crawled under the blankets anyways.

"The Chunin exams are coming up in a few weeks' time. Do you want to go?" Orochimaru chuckled as he changed his clothes behind a curtain.

"You're married to me and you won't change in front of me? You're going to get me paranoid that you're cheating on me!" I teased, "I kid! I kid! Do you think I'm ready?"

"Do you honestly think I would cheat on you?" Orochimaru growled darkly. "You are the first one to bear the child of a Sannin, and you think I would cheat on you?"

"No, I was joking!" I argued. "Good grief. Why do you not want to change in front of me?"

"Why must you insist on changing every subject I bring up?" Orochimaru countered. "Do you want to attend the Chunin exams, or not?"

"Well, yeah, but…" I grinned evilly, a plan already in motion. "What about Sasuke? What about Akuma – he needs me! And while I'm at it, who are you going to use to infiltrate Iwagakure and Kumogakure? And finish up Kirigakure? You know I got nowhere close to being done in Kirigakure."

"I'm not sure. Perhaps a small child, or someone that they'll…recognize," Orochimaru said, his eyes lightening. "Your Kaguya Kunoichi, of course, will go to Kirigakure. She can etch the jutsu signs on the inside of the bones that she'll make. As for Iwagakure and Kumogakure – I had you in mind, since you would have been able to play the part extremely well. Now, do you know where I can find an over-obsessive child who will show complete fidelity to their master?"

"Yes, I do," I grinned, thinking on the same track of evil that he was. "Do you remember the female cousin that was younger than me that looked more pregnant than me?"

"You aren't serious. That little brat wouldn't know heads from tails about jutsu!" he said indignantly in disdain. He then realized what I was thinking. "So, what you're saying is that we get her to learn the more basic jutsus. Then we get her to leave and head to the other village to do the same thing."

"Right. We then get another one of my friends, one of the skinny and fit ones to help us out by getting the more advanced ones, since she can pass off for the apprentice or lover of Jiraiya," I explained further.

"Wonderful," he grinned maniacally, kissing my lips. "Tomorrow, we go back to your world and ambush your cousin and friend."

"Joy," I grinned, eager to deliver the hell to my cousin that she'd given me. I was extremely hesitant to bring my best friend into this, though. "On second thought, why not get one of my younger cousins to help us out with the advanced jutsu? Or maybe just send one cousin to each village instead, and have them report only during the Chunin exams?"

"Perhaps. We'll discuss this further in the morning, pet," he said as he lowered himself into the blankets.

"In other news, the Naruto killer has struck once more – this time, a whole array of victims was found. They are represented in the show by what the Naruto fans call Team Six, Team Five, and Team Ten. We have also found the bodies that represent Mizuki, Zabuza and Haku, and Uchiha Itachi," I heard a news reporter say a few weeks later. I realized dimly that thanksgiving was today, and that Akuma was almost a month old.

"I know how the serial killer does it," Orochimaru chuckled. "He recreates the scene that they were defeated at. Think about it – Sasuke-kun in his home, Sakura in a clearing, Naruto-kun in a classroom, Iruka on the outskirts of Vegas, Kiba surrounded by dogs, Kakashi from drug overdose – drugs representing the Sharingan – Jiraiya surrounded by women, and some that had numerous body piercings, Tsunade in a bar drinking poisoned beer, and Neji from a traumatic shock from below his jaw."

"You're right," I realized. "It all fits! So that means that Haku will have a hole in one shoulder, Zabuza will have multiple lacerations all over – either that he'll have needles in his neck – both on or under a bridge of some sort. Mizuki will have multiple trauma wounds in a forest, and Uchiha Itachi will be killed by something bursting inside him."

"Kukuku…you're correct, Kit," he chuckled, referring to how he'd started calling me kitten. Akuma was still an extremely quiet baby, and I wondered vaguely if he was alright. "Relax – Kabuto's running a few tests to see if Akuma needs any health help or medication."

"Good to know you care," I huffed.

"I always have, pet," he said gently. "Ever since that day that you knew who I was and had pictures all over the back of that book, I knew you were the one. You hadn't even met me, and were obsessed with me. You'd even found pictures of me as a child, and people don't do that. I saw your handwriting of 'adorable' on the pages next to the photos of me as a child, and the ones that said 'sexy' next to when I was staying still, as well as the ones that said 'epic' when I was performing a jutsu. Truth be told, I was obsessed with meeting you once I learned who you were. I couldn't resist – someone from a completely different world with so much knowledge and power that hadn't even been tapped into yet. I couldn't get you out of my thoughts. So I took you, and made you mine."

"Are you going to give me a curse mark to make it final?" I asked hopefully, and he frowned.

"And risk losing you? Absolutely not!" he scoffed. "I may be a mass murderer, but I have my limitations. You, Akuma, and any other children we'll have together are my limitations. I'll even kill Kabuto if the need arises. This conversation is to remain top secret, by the way."

"So, should I go get my cousins?" I asked. "Or should I go have Otonin kunoichis rape Sasuke into oblivion?"

I was met with loud laughter and guffaws.

"I don't think that wise, Sarah-sama," Kabuto said warily as he watched Orochimaru laugh uncontrollably. "Perhaps another option can be found – that won't betray the sound? Or maybe… we can brainwash a child! Akuma-sama is perfectly healthy, I can assure you. He's just a quiet one, that's all. Much like his father used to be before he married you and you came to stay with us permanently."

"Thanks, Kabuto. Hey, would it kill you to try to find a spouse?" I asked innocently, and he gave me a look that gave no room for argument as he hurried to put Akuma in his cradle.

"I'm afraid that's out of the question," he said at last as he put his recently un-gloved hand onto my forehead. "Hm, you don't seem to have a fever…"

"Kabuto, you should know by now that I'll ask random questions and say random things like I'm on crack or drugs or something and I'll have nothing whatsoever in my bloodstream aside from my blood vessels," I scolded.

"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly. "I'm still not used to it, that's all. What did you say?" he asked after lowering his voice to where I could barely hear him over Orochimaru's continued laughter.

"I asked if I should order a few sound kunoichi to rape Sasuke into oblivion," I told him quietly. He chuckled slightly before leaving quickly. I knew where this was going – he'd go into one of the labs and laugh his head off like my husband was recovering from now.

"Do you want me to?" he said through his laughter, and I nodded eagerly. The more Uchiha babies the merrier, right?

"Do it," I grinned, but he shook his head. "Why not?"

"We need to wait until his hormones are at their peak," he scolded gently, and I nodded, realizing that he would know when the best time to pounce on Sasuke would be. "Now, your cousins?"

"Yeah," I yelled eagerly, and leapt to get Akuma out of his crib so I could show him to my family. Orochimaru teleported the three of us back to Arkansas. I grinned as the Boone Clan yelled out in shock at our arrival. They'd planned ahead, but so had I. I grinned, and pulled a box of dango from a sealing scroll I'd had.

"In honor of the tradition," Orochimaru said with a shrug. "They aren't poisoned. Speaking of which, is there a tradition to bring food as a married couple, or no?"

"No, it's a tradition," Kim assured him quickly. "It's just – what is that?"

"Dango," Orochimaru said as if it explained everything.

"It's kind of like a Japanese shish kabob," I explained, and it finally clicked. "So, what's all this I've been hearing about serial killers on the loose? And do I get to sit at the adult table now that I'm married with a child?"

"Wait, boy or girl?" Bobbie asked, and Orochimaru smirked evilly in her direction. Bobbie then let out a loud and terrified whine and hid behind her mother.

"His name is Akuma," I told them, and Orochimaru pulled the blanket off of our son's face to reveal him.

"Oh, he's so cute!" I heard my three aunts croon quietly so as not to wake him.

"He looks really pale," one of my female cousins said warily. "are babies supposed to be that pale?"

"it runs in the family," Orochimaru growled harshly, leaving no room for arguments on skin, eye, or hair color of our child.

"Oh, that reminds me, the presents were great," I grinned, and the others eyed each other nervously. "What?"

"Sarah – we'd only gotten you those because we thought you were dead," one of cousins said warily. "We only got them because we knew you'd have wanted them if you were alive."

"That explains why they got you a bunch of Konoha looking clothes," Orochimaru murmured, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're not staying in our world, are you?" Bobbie asked sadly.

"No, but I do have a limited time offer – two of you get to come to ours to learn with us and help us out with our studying," I told them happily. "Free food, room, and at no cost at all! Well, except when you're abroad, but that'll still be halfway covered by Otogakure finances."

"Wow! As much food as we want?" Bobbie asked eagerly. "And we won't have to do homework for the school systems? Count me in if that's the case!"

"Bobbie, you don't even know the rules of this offer!" Chrissie yelled angrily, and I laughed.

"Claire?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Randall? Maddy? We might even be able to help with a few medical issues. I mean, look at me – they managed to get my shunt safely removed and my ventricles fix that it replaced!"

"I'm in!" Maddy yelled, and I knew I had her hooked, lined, and sunk. "You already know why."

"Indeed – Bobbie, Maddy, you'll be coming back with us once Thanksgiving feast is over," I smirked maliciously, knowing that they couldn't go back on their word. I'd already clued Orochimaru in on Maddy's condition that caused her to lose all her hair, and knew that Bobbie was lazy and would do anything to get out of school and get free all-you-can-eat buffets.

Akuma put up a fuss right before prayer, so Orochimaru and I took him outside for some fresh air. I grinned at my son's wonderful timing, and kissed his forehead gently. I sighed heavily, and no matter what we tried, Akuma just kept crying. Finally, Orochimaru got tired of waiting and summoned a snake and dangled it above him. Akuma began gurgling happily, and I shook my head in exasperation at it all.

"Daddy's boy," I grumbled as we went back inside, the snake still around Orochimaru and hovering over Akuma's now-sleeping frame.

"And, without further ado, let's eat!" my aunt announced fearfully eyeing the snake, and I vaguely realized that my parents weren't here. "Sarah, you and your husband may join us at the adults table since your parents aren't here."

"Hey! We're older than she is!" Sam, Joe, Chrissie, Cassy, Randall, and Jenny objected angrily. "That's not fair!"

"Nya nya!" I teased silently behind my aunts' and uncles' backs.

"Her parents are missing, and she's the one out of the three of you that is married – and has a child, no less! Speaking of which, what's your husband's name?" Rebekka scolded, and then turned to me gently. I sat down hesitantly at the adult table, not used to it in the slightest. I was used to sitting with the Nintendo nerds outside – but this was good, too. They'd probably done it out of respect for Orochimaru and the fact that Akuma was still less than a month old.

"Orochimaru," he replied moodily before leaving for the adult table. I grabbed some Ham, Turkey, my aunt Rebekka's infamous rolls (which there never was enough of, no matter how many she brought), and, of course, four sticks of Dango, to put on my plate. His plate had the same layout, only it had a little bit of everything – I'd decided to put in a little fruit salad and sweet potatoes on it. Blegh – I most definitely wouldn't want to be eating off his plate.

"So, what'd I miss out on?" I asked as I sat down next to Orochimaru at the table once more. I handed him his plate and smiled eagerly. He sighed, but hesitantly picked up his fork to eat. He eyed the knife warily, not sure of what to do.

"You lost your scholarship at UACCM!" Sam hollered over the din, and I frowned.

"Like I care, Stupid!" I retorted, pulling a Naruto vs. Konohamaru out of the hat. "And for the record, Naruto got through the Chunin exams with a blank test! How's _that _for scholarship?"

The house became immediately quiet. More than twenty people and you could hear a pin drop – which _never _happened at my family reunions.

"Sarah," Kim said testily. "You do realize that there's a serial killer on the loose? One who relates people with Naruto characters and then kills them after he gives them tattoos like the Naruto Characters?"

"N-no," I lied wide-eyed. "H-how? W-why?"

"Nobody knows," my uncle said. "They haven't caught him yet, but the bodies are piling up, fast. Twenty-three people! And they're still trying to catch him!"

"How'd the newer ones die? Teams Team Six, Team Five, and Team Ten die? Does anyone know?" I asked between bites, and everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

"No," my three older cousins snapped, and I backed off. "How could we?"

"How were they failing in the exams, pet?" Orochimaru asked, and I realized it then.

Hinata had had Ventricular fibrillation. Kiba – kicked in the back of the head. Shino had yielded to Kankurou's poison. Kurenai – I had no idea on this one. Lee had overused of the gate of life. TenTen, weapons all around and probably stabbed numerous times or a broken back. Choji's only demise was the red pellet when he was fighting Jirobo or dizziness after fighting Dosu. Shikamaru's was probably fear and heart attack, needles everywhere, shuriken everywhere – his possibilities were endless because he forfeited so many times. Ino – hallucinations and/or traumatic blow to the head. Asuma's was likely a stake to the heart. Guy – over-exercising. It all made sense. They were all likely to be found in forests or arenas of some sort since that was where most of them lost their fights.

"They fell into traps," I replied as I put the pieces together. None of the Otonin had died yet, but they would have been if someone had gone through with it. Whoever it was, they were favoring the Otonin as their final victims. We ate in silence the rest of the meal, and then finally, at length, we all began talking again hesitantly. I didn't want to stick around for the 'Family Tradition' of watching _Elf, _but I was coerced into it temporarily if only for watching the news later.

"Guys! There are more deaths!" Randall called out, and Orochimaru and I left the food for the news. I handed Akuma to Orochimaru, knowing that the Sannin had a much stronger stomach for things like this.

"There have been eight more Naruto bodies found. They have all been represented by the leaf Village up until now. There have been five from the Sand identified. The names of the characters weren't identifiable at first, but it has been confirmed that the youth of America are no longer the only ones in danger – Gaara, Temari, Kankurou, Baki, and the Kazekage. The third Hokage was also found, from the leaf, as well as Hayete Gekko and Morino Ibiki. Please, let us know if there is anyone that you may suspect," the reporter announced. I stared in shock, and then raced to the bathroom to pretend to vomit while I grinned in excitement.

Gaara was going to be surrounded by sand, which was for sure, since he always had sand with him, and possibly by a bomb or mine. Kankurou probably died by beetles or fire ants, since he lost to Shino. Temari was an unknown, as well as Baki. Hayete was going to be killed with a blade in an alleyway. The third Hokage was probably on a roof somewhere and the Kazekage was probably in a ditch or sewer covered in sword marks. Ibiki, on the other hand, was probably covered in scars and looked like he was used for target practice. I then realized something – Kabuto and the Sound Five, even Orochimaru, would have all been killed by now. Our killer favored Otonin, and Mitarashi Anko was still alive. Anko, Nawaki, Dan, and any Shippuden characters were next on the target list.

"Kabuto," I gasped as I walked out, and Orochimaru's eyes widened. "I think we'll need Kabuto…I can't…mmngh!" I cut off, pretending to try to keep myself from vomiting.

"I think it's time we went home," Orochimaru said dragging me back to our scroll to take us home. Bobbie and Maddy rushed up to meet me.

"Our killer is extremely meticulous. They clean up after themselves," I said calculating it out as we got home. "They've attacked Konoha ninja, Konoha rogues, and Sand ninja. Whoever this is has access to sand, keys, animals, poisons, and the Naruto profiles."

"Wait, what if they're not Otonin?" Kabuto asked, and we all froze. "I mean, there's a Sunagakure tracker who's been missing since the day that Sarah got transferred to our world. There was a Sunagakure ninja tracking me using my headband."

"Wait, a jutsu gone wrong – it's possible that he was transferred to my world while I was transferred here on accident!" I shouted with revelation. "Is it possible that the Sunagakure ninja's head got screwed in the process if he was holding Kabuto's headband?"

"Yes," Orochimaru replied. "It's also possible that the man came to think that he or she _is _Kabuto, and sees any non-otonin look-a-like as an enemy. We need to find a way that he or she will stay in that world so that Sarah can stay in ours."

"Or," I argued. "We can get him killed in that world."

"But then we wouldn't know what our world will do to him! You immediately thought of yourself as an Otonin when you were transferred here – maybe that was a reflex for the both of you," Kabuto argued.

"Okay, someone needs to tell me what's going on here, cause I'm not getting any of this," Bobbie and Maddy argued cheerleader-like. All three of us adult Otonin scowled in response.

"I'll be sure to dumb it down so that even a _dunce_ can understand," Orochimaru sneered. "A jutsu went wrong. As a result, your cousin was transferred here and the ninja performing the jutsu was transferred to your world. Now, both of them are stuck in the worlds they've been transported to. Sarah has become an otonin while she was here. The Sunagakure nin – the Sand ninja – now thinks that they are an Otonin – a Sound Ninja – as a result of said jutsu being mis-performed. Did I use small enough words for you to understand? Or do I need to spell it out so my newborn can understand me?"

"No, we got it," Bobbie said shakily. "But how do we turn this guy in?"

"I've got that one covered," I grinned. "I've got a contact that can help us out. Orochimaru, you remember Carl?"

"Well, I can see where this is going. You'll find his laptop any time of day and write a message on it for him. If we can get the Suna-nin's name then we can catch and trap him," Orochimaru summed up. I loved the man, and it was wonderful that we were able to get inside each other's skins and heads, but sometimes it just became too much trouble.

"There may be a way," I murmured. "That he was in this world while I went back home."

"Highly improbable, but not impossible," Orochimaru countered with a disgustingly satisfied smirk. Maddy and Bobbie looked like they were about to puke, much to my dismay. Oh well – the latter could stand to lose more than a few pounds. A lot of pounds would be more exact. She and Jirobo would be soul mates with how much time they spent eating. Bobbie weighed more than I had when I'd been pregnant at my heaviest, and she was a virgin. She'd make the perfect Akimichi clan member.

"Can we change the subject, please?" Maddy asked as Bobbie raced over to puke on Akuma.

Orochimaru beat her to him, and snatched him out of the cradle just in time. Akuma and his blanket were clean, but his crib was far from it.

"Go," Orochimaru ordered. "Maddy, let Kabuto take a few blood samples so he can discern what caused your hair loss and how to prevent it. Bobbie, get out of my sight – if I ever see you go near my son again with the intent to make him dirty in any way, I will personally kill you and feed you piece by piece to the snakes. Tayuya, inform Bobbie of her mission."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto and Tayuya said in unison as they led the two teens away, and I sighed sadly.

I knew Orochimaru pushed me away an awful lot, but I still loved him more than my own life. He was my hero, the man who'd saved me from myself. I'd have gone crazy in the ninja world of learning jutsu without restraint, and then I'd be in jail. He'd assigned me mission after mission of learning the new jutsu, which was a shared hobby of both of ours. It was one of the tying bonds we had together, and it was a much stronger bond than the one I shared with my birth family.

"Should we tell Earth about their serial killer?" I asked, and he laughed.

"We'll see how long it takes them," Orochimaru chuckled.


	15. Ninja Naughtiness

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"After weeks and weeks of looking for our mysterious Naruto killer, we have found an alarming amount of more bodies as evidence," a news reporter said on Christmas Eve as we watched the news before the party at Michelle's House by using the mirror.

"Oh joy, I wonder who it is this time," Orochimaru said gleefully. "Is it Anko? Please say that Anko is one of them."

"The Naruto names of the new deceased are Anko Mitarashi, Nawaki, Dan, The First, Second and Fourth Hokage's, Kisame, Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, Chiyo, Gato, Kakuzu, Pein, Konan, Zetsu, Tobi, and Madara. Nobody knows how this person has been transforming these innocent people, but one thing is for certain – no man, woman, or child will be safe in public until we catch this serial killer," the news reporters finished.

"Huh," I said numbly. "Anko by snakes; Nawaki by explosion; Dan by explosion in the kidney, I believe; The First and Second Lords from heart attacks; the Fourth one from fang marks from the Kyuubi, or a variant thereof; Kisame from Suicide; Hidan from decapitation; Deidara from explosion he set up; Sasori had a blade through his heart; Chiyo died of medical jutsu, so probably medicine overdose; Gato from decapitation with kunai; Kakuzu from wind needles, so Senbon everywhere; Pein from being made into a human porcupine; Konan, drowning since she was an Origami specialist; Zetsu in a greenhouse; Tobi through I don't know what; and Madara through his eyes getting gouged out."

"Well thought," Orochimaru praised. "You've gotten into the mindset of a serial killer – put yourself in his or her shoes. If someone said that you could do that the day we met, I'd have killed them for lying. But now – I can see I've found a like soul. I just needed to unlock that gate."

"I was already on the way to unlocking it with novel writing – meeting you just sped the process up by a few dozen years," I teased. "So, here's our problem – I've gotten reports – police reports – about the deceased. What should I do? Their bodies are in morgues all across the U.S. – we're not going to be able to get in that quickly."

"Perhaps," Orochimaru said quietly. "They know a few medical ninjutsu from Kabuto by spying on him like you knew ours."

"Yeah," I said sternly. "But, then if I reveal myself to be alive, they'll think I've lost my marbles. I'm the only one who can stop him – it's got to be me since I'm the one who got transferred as well."

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said rushing in. "There's been a few more ninja that have turned up missing from Konoha – a female Akimichi, and an Aburame kunoichi. Should I go hunt them down, sir?"

"Yes," Orochimaru grinned maniacally. "However, you'll be tracking them using our two newest recruits – two of Sarah-chan's cousins."

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think it wise that they were sent to Iwagakure and Kumogakure," Kabuto objected. "They barely know the hand signs!"

"Precisely," Orochimaru said gleefully. "Which is why if they don't get at least fifty jutsu in this one months' time, I'll be sending Sarah in with a disguise jutsu of mine after stealing a face of one of their Chunin or their version of ANBU. It shouldn't be too terribly hard for her to do."

"Yes, sir," Kabuto said bowing once more. I sighed in exasperation, bored out of my mind, more than eager to get back to spying and training once more.

"Can you handle Akuma while I'm gone?" I asked, and he glared at me. "You'll be on your own – I won't be able to help you hold or cradle him when he needs me in the middle of the night."

"Ah, Sir and Ma'am, Bobbie and Maddy have returned," Tayuya reported as she bowed when she entered the room. "They want to go home, sir. They grew tired of their spying and miss their families. They also said something about medical conditions…."

"Very well," Orochimaru smirked. "If it's medical help they want, it's medical help they'll get. Send Maddy to lab twenty-seven with Kabuto – tell him that I said to give her the cure for her hair loss. As for Bobbie – I've got just the thing for her weight problem in lab Thirty-One."

"Let me give Maddy the cure, and let Kabuto deal with Bobbie," I said quickly, grimacing at the Lab number Bobbie had been given – it was known for its deadly experiments that succeeded for a few days, then went haywire in about a week. "I want her to trust me and for them to know that I'm not the serial killer. Bobbie – well, do with that bitch as you please."

"Turning into a sadist, are we? Excellent," Orochimaru purred as he extended his tongue to fill in the gap between his lips and the left side of my jaw.

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama, Sarah-sama," Tayuya said before heading off to her task.

I raced to lab Twenty-seven, and stopped short at the door with Kabuto next to it. I quickly donned a lab coat and gloves, eager to begin work on my cousin. This experiment had been tested on hundreds of ninja, and was specially designed to attack the disease in Maddy's bloodstream – she'd have a full head of hair before her birthday in March.

"Merry Christmas," I said walking in, testing the syringe. "Thanks, Kabuto. I'll take it from here – you go tend to Bobbie."

"Hai, Sarah-sama," he said bowing before leaving. "Well, ready to get your hair back, little cousin?"

"Why did you guys do that? You never mentioned that we would almost be killed," Maddy practically yelled. "Do you have any idea how many assignments I declined? I had to beg to stay inside the village!"

"Are you kidding me? I was practically _begging_ for missions outside of Konoha for a week before they sent me on a petty one with three supervisors!" I said incredulously. "Getting missions outside of a shinobi village is the best way to find out a ninja's potential and their jutsus! If you're too cowardly to leave a ninja village, then I can see why you want to go home! Damn!"

"You did _not _just cuss!" she yelled at me, and I immediately stuck a kunai next to her throat.

"Just because you're my cousin, doesn't mean that I won't hurt you. Left sleeve up, now. You're heading home as soon as that damned cure is in your veins – and if something goes wrong, you signed the contract and you agreed to the terms and dangers of a spy. It's all right here in the plain English," I said sweetly, holding up her file.

She grudgingly did as she was told, and I injected the cure into her bloodstream. I opened my scroll, shoved her on top of it, and yelled out the coordinates of where I wanted her to go. She vanished in a puff of smoke, and I was more than happy to see her gone. I'd gotten ten times more work done in one village in a month than they had. Of course, I'd been using doppelgangers to help me, but still.

Bobbie was also transported home that day, and Orochimaru and I decided to pop in for the Christmas Eve dinner. Bobbie and Maddy flinched and raced to hide behind my aunts. Orochimaru and I laughed.

"Where's Akuma?" Sam asked, and I realized vaguely that mom and dad were now home. Crap.

"He's at home with our medic for his ear infection," I lied smoothly. "We didn't want it getting worse or him getting sick with something else."

"Sarah Naomi Denning, you get away from that pedophile right now," my mother scolded, and we knew we'd hit our main snag after the one at my birthday party.

"So, you did your research this time," I said smugly. "Not bad, mom, not bad at all. But you forgot to take one little thing into detail – marriages and children. You see, where we come from, divorces are almost impossible to get, and you have to have an extremely good reason – like attempted murder or severe child abuse cases – to get a divorce. Besides that, how do you think my son will react when mommy or daddy doesn't come home at night?"

"You – what?" she screeched, and I raised my eyebrow in amusement. "Don't you dare tell me that you've had this pedophile, snake-vomiting, sword-wielding _freak's _bastard child before you married him! And what are you talking about? Naruto isn't even real! Get a life – your husband's probably next on that serial killer's list since he looks exactly like Orochimaru!"

Normally I would get terrified of my mother, but that was before I became a ninja. Now, the only acceptance I needed was from Orochimaru and my Otonin family. I had already become a sister/mother figure to the Sound Five (depending on which one you asked), and most of the Otonin knew I was married to Orochimaru, so they automatically accepted me as a part of the village with no questions or qualms. However, the only thing I was scared of now was Orochimaru, since my mother had just broken any and all rules that he set.

Don't call him or me a freak or patronize him.

Don't call him a pedophile or insult his family. Snake vomiting and sword wielding was true, so that wouldn't have made him angry unless you said it to him directly like it was curse words – which my mother had.

Don't threaten his family unless you want to die – this rule was added after I came into the picture. (I was so shocked to find that he actually loved me! XD)

Don't try to boss him or me around like you have power over him unless you've kicked his or my butt in more than four battles – even Tsunade hadn't done this one yet, so nobody could do so. This also depended on which one of us you were trying to boss around. So far, Orochimaru had made challenging me off-limits to any and all Otonin except Kabuto, who never had time to do so.

No attacking his students that he was currently training – I was still a genin, so I counted under this rule, too. He got _really _overprotective once he figured out I was pregnant. He'd busted a lung when Kabuto had told him, but he'd become extremely overprotective once I'd told him that I had 1000% fidelity to him and him alone.

Once Orochimaru's brain wrapped itself around my mother's insults, his chakra became visible and it was filled with an extremely high amount of blood lust. It even took me a while to figure out what she was talking about as well – she's just threatened my husband with a serial killer.

"You know him," I screeched angrily. "You know the serial killer! You know who it is and where they are, don't you? You hate _Naruto_ (the show, not person) and wanted it to stop so badly you'd destroy it! You're trying to destroy it by killing people in this world who look just like the characters! Or, for all we know, _you're _the serial killer! Well guess what – if you so much as lay a finger on my son without my permission, I'll hack you into bite-sized piece by bite sized piece while you're alive and force you to watch as I feed it to snakes!"

Orochimaru stared at me in a combination of shock, amusement, love, delight, and excitement. The rest of the clan gawked at me looking like fish out of water, and everyone was once again so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, the clicking of the clock, and my heavy breathing.

"Did you…just threaten me?" My mother asked finally getting her nerve and brains back.

"Good to know you can actually remember something for five seconds that I told you," I shot back moodily. "And I wasn't lying about feeding you to snakes – no matter what day and age, no matter what world I have, will or would have lived in, I will always put my children's lives and safety before yours."

"You! You little brat!" she screamed angrily, and lunged for me. I raced forward to meet her, my hands stopping hers like Ino's had Sakura's in the Chunin exams preliminary fights.

"You'll _never _hold any more power over me again," I taunted as I half-drug her outside, Bobbie opening the door for me fearfully. "Not now that I'm a ninja, and you're just a worthless, _invisible _accountant! Face it – I'm stronger, faster, younger, smarter, and more heavily armed than you!"

"Get it into your head! You're not a ninja, you bitch!" she screamed, pulling a gun out and pointing it at me. I took one, two, three rounds to the chest. I fell backwards onto the concrete, and let my mother process what she'd done.

I grinned from atop the rooftop as I stared at the substitution I'd performed at last minute out of desperation and using a metal lawn chair. I kept it up, wanting it to be a reason for her to go into Traumatic shock, but it never happened. I leered, and Orochimaru stared at it as though it were really me, his mind still wrapping around the whole "gun" weapon's speed and accuracy.

"No," he murmured. "No!" he yelled and lunged for her.

She shot a round to his stomach, and he gasped in pain. He quickly weaved hand signs and began to shed his skin as though he were a snake. His mouth became enlarged enough for him to fit through, and he thrust himself out as he fled into the filthy water of the swimming pool. His shed skin disappeared into the wind in a wave of dust, but the blood-covered bullet remained.

"I'm not afraid to kill you," my mother growled out as Orochimaru dived to the bottom of the deep end and I ducked inside the pool house silently and invisibly, just barely using any chakra. "I have no reason to let you live now that my daughter is dead because of you."

"Me?" Orochimaru growled incredulously as he sent his Mizu-bunshin up to speak his mind. He'd created an air bubble down there out of chakra, something I didn't even know possible. "You're the one who used that weapon on her chest! If I hadn't shed my skin, I'd be dead as well!"

Orochimaru and I froze as we heard approaching police sirens in the distance.

"They're too late," my mother growled as she, too, began hearing them. "I'm not the serial killer, but I'm more than willing to take the blame if it means killing you!"

I released my jutsus (except the substitution) that I'd created at the edge of the pool, giving the appearance to Orochimaru that I'd just died.

"Gah!" my mother screamed in shock, and fired two rounds in that direction. Orochimaru quietly slipped out of the pool, and began to weave hand signs to perform a genjutsu.

"Ma'am, you're under arrest for the murder of Sarah Denning, and the attempted murder of the Orochimaru look-a-like. You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law," he said firmly as he yanked her hands behind her back.

"No! He killed her! He kidnapped her! He kidnapped my baby!" my mother began screaming angrily, tears streaming down her face, the trauma finally fully kicking in.

"You're wrong," Orochimaru panted heavily, putting on an act of near-death experience. "She came to me for help. She wanted to be free of her family, this town, this _country._ So I led her away to Alaska, where she could finally be as free as she pleased as she lived in the middle of nowhere in an abandoned old cabin. We really did love each other, and our son. I only wish that he could see her alive once more…"

"I'm so sorry for your loss," the female cop said gently as she put a blanket out to him. "If there's any way I can help…"

"No… just leave me alone with her body…that's all I ask…" he sobbed, holding his arms across his chest like he was trying to keep it from ripping apart. "My wife…my companion…my _angel_…why? Why?"

"We've got witnesses, and the bloody bullet is more than enough proof," the first cop said as he walked back into the front yard. "Let him keep the body and bury it as he pleases – we've got more than enough witnesses to prove that she's the one who did it."

"Yes, sir. We're so sorry for your loss," she repeated, and Orochimaru pulled the scroll into the pool-house I was in, and I crept behind him silently. His chi was so out of whack, he didn't even notice I was there, not even when Kabuto was staring right at me and the substitution.

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto began, but Orochimaru cut him off.

"If you so much as _think _about trying to get me remarried, I'll kill you!" he sobbed, and I raised my eyebrows in shock.

"Who's getting remarried why?" I asked, and he wheeled around in shock.

"You – how-?" he sputtered, and jumped slightly as I released my substitution.

"Wow," I smiled widely in pride and love. "You do love me."

"You're alive," he breathed as he yanked me into his chest. "Oh, thank Kami you're alive! I thought I'd lost you…"

"That was the point," I said like it was obvious. "I had to make sure that my mom got arrested for murder, and in order to do that, I had to trick even you so you could pass a lie detector test should they make you take one."

"You will _never _do that to me again without warning me first with a Mizu-bunshin underwater, is that clear?" he said sternly, love, affection, sorrow, pride, worry, pain, betrayal, and relief all dancing behind his golden orbs.

"I promise I'll warn you of any backup plans I may have," I said holding up my left hand.

"Kabuto, get out," he growled, and Kabuto silently hefted the used lawn chair out of Orochimaru and my bedroom, sensing wisely that we needed a lot of privacy for a while.

"Well, now that that's over, we can – " I cut off as Orochimaru pushed his lips fiercely onto mine, passion flaring behind them.

"Promise me," he whispered, and I nodded. "Promise you won't scream?"

"At what? Well, either way, I promise," I grinned. I almost broke my promise as he finally pulled me into the shower together for the first time.

"I know, it's hideous," he sighed. "Almost all girls think that."

"No," I said quickly. "It's just – I've never seen a naked man before aside from Akuma. And I don't intend to ever again with anyone but our children."

"Thank you," he sobbed as he lifted me into his arms, curling my small-ish body around his tall, lean one.

"Orochimaru, if it'll make you feel better…we could try again," I said sheepishly, and he forced his tongue down my throat for a few seconds. "Mn, I'll take that as a yes."

"Take me," he whispered. "I – you're dead. Kabuto's drugged me up with a relaxant and forced me to go to bed. This is all just a dream, a nightmare that my mind wants so desperately to believe."

"No," I said looking into his pain-filled eyes. "This isn't a dream. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Nnm," I moaned as I woke up on Christmas morning. "Orochimaru-kun…Oh!" I gasped as I realized we'd probably passed out in the shower. I squeaked as I realized he was moving and talking in his sleep. Not something I expected from the great Orochimaru. He must have been half-asleep. I breathed heavily, realizing what had happened last night.

"Orochimaru," I said gently, putting my hand on his chest. "Orochimaru, wake up."

"No…" he murmured, and I realized he was probably still drugged up. "Scream…"

"Orochimaru," I said a little louder, leaning up towards his head. "Ow!" I yelled in shock at his sudden movements, and his eyes flew open.

"Sarah?" he asked confused, then realized what he was doing as I bit my lower lip in pain to keep myself from screaming. I was breathing through my nose, keeping it even. I looked up at him, happy, yet in pain.

"Merry Christmas," I muttered, and he immediately flipped us over.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he chuckled and flushed in embarrassment at what he'd done. "Wait, no. no, I'm not sorry. I loved every second of that. I didn't rape you in your sleep, did I?"

"It's not rape if it's willing," I told him, blushing.

"Yes," he murmured, cradling my head against his chest. "Yes, I suppose you're right. You _do _know I love you, don't you?"

"You wouldn't have thrown a tantrum over my fake death if you didn't," I replied logically. "I didn't want to trick you, but it was the only option I had aside from death. We should probably be checking on Akuma," I smiled, before flinching.

"Turn around," he said sternly.

"No. I'm no fool. I know what's down there," I retorted, and retreated under the covers.

"Sarah! You'd better-!" he cut off with a low moan. "Pet, Akuma-kun," he gasped in reminder.

"Just reminding you about last night," I said sweetly as I resurfaced. "And for the record, my clan may not have been happy with your behavior last night, but I most certainly was!"

"The fight with your mother, or the sex?" he asked.

"Both!" I laughed. "Besides – they can't do diddly-jack about it now!"

"My," he grinned. "You _have _been corrupted to the core!"

"Because of the ultimate influence of perfection that I married," I retorted. "Now let's go, before I miss Akuma's first Christmas."

"Thanks, pet," he said softly so that I barely heard it before Kabuto barged in.

"Ah, Orochimaru-sama, Sarah-sama, I – I just thought you ought to know," he began without the slightest ounce of fear, if only a smidge of embarrassment, "About yesterday's events… Sarah-sama's entire country, possibly the entire world, is in an uproar about it. They're going to pass a law that states that a woman may marry whoever she pleases as long as she is pregnant, but it must be to the father if she is still a minor. Also, the law states that men who are more than forty years older than a woman can't marry her, and anyone who does so is going to jail for statutory rape."

"It won't have any effect," I told him. "I'm eighteen. He's fifty. That's a thirty-two year difference."

"Oh, Snakes," Orochimaru grumbled. "Now I feel like I – how would your cousins put it? ah, yes, robbed the cradle."

"Well, this is one cradle that I'm more than happy to let you rob," I smiled over to him. "No, strike that. You're not robbing this cradle – I'm giving it to you. On a silver and gold platter lined with Obsidian, diamonds, and all manner of precious metals and jewels of every kind."

"Well, I'll leave the two of you be. I can see I'm not useful in this kind of atmosphere," Kabuto said hesitantly.

"Kabuto," Orochimaru said suddenly, and the medic stopped in his tracks. "Go find yourself a wife. That's an order."

"S-sir? You _want _me to get married?" he asked confused.

"A man is virtually nothing without a good woman at his side," Orochimaru snapped. "Whether to aid him in wisdom, cleaning, or childcare and childbirth, it doesn't matter – men have always needed women. We hate admitting it – I more so than most – but it's true. Without women, we wouldn't be born, and our lives would be much duller. There's also something I realized in my youth when watching Tsunade and Dan, as well as Sarutobi-Sensei and his wife. Love knows no limits, nor time, just ends."

"Try to find someone named Kyri," I joked, and they looked at me like I was crazy. "What? It's something I read once about names that matches their first two letters being more compatible."

"O…kay," Kabuto said warily. "I'm going to assume this is one of those times that you spout of nonsense like a monkey on crack when you've got nothing in your bloodstream."

"Try not to get laid!" I called after him as he left, and Orochimaru shook his head.

"Do you have _any _shame or decency?" he chuckled.

"Nope!" I said loudly like a little kid. I felt like one, yet at the same time, I felt like so much more. "And you've got less than I do when the pants are down!"

"Sarah!" he scolded/hissed under his breath. "Not now."

"Just making sure you're alive," I joked as I yanked his rope off of his tunic and darted down the hall at top speed.


	16. Murderer's Angers and Lusts

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

I grinned in delight as I watched the sadist begin his rounds that cold, February night, having transferred myself back to Earth. I could already see the profiles of those he was going to kill – the original Ino-Shika-Cho trio, Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuga, Kushina Uzumaki, and Mikoto and Fugaku Uchiha. Like I cared about them – all I knew was that I needed to put a stop to this, once and for all.

I could see his Sound headband on his forehead, and his bleach-blonde hair, almost silver, tied back like Kabuto's. His clothes matched Kabuto's as well, and he even wore glasses. I was beginning to think that they were right – our serial killer really thought he was Kabuto. I grinned, knowing he'd been getting cocky with the cops. I sighed exhaustedly, my body still sore from the day's training. I'd been sent out on this A ranking assignment as a favor to Tsunade and Jiraiya for the time I spent with them while I waited for the Sannin showdown. Apparently Tsunade had gotten word from Sunagakure that one of their ninjas had gone missing while trailing Kabuto, and she sent me in to investigate.

Thus, here I was, tracking the tracker. I watched as he fiddled with security cameras, then, when all was thought to be lost, I raced over to put them back into place. I watched in horror as the man killed the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, then the two Hyuugas. Uzumaki and Uchiha were off limits. I used a henge jutsu to transform into Orochimaru, and the ninja became alert immediately.

"Who's there?" he said loudly. "I know you're out there! Show yourself!"

"Feeling agitated, Kabuto?" I asked teasingly, then suddenly became furious. "Don't patronize me!" What can I say? It was one of the things that my husband was famous for.

"Orochimaru-sama!" he said shocked as he got down on one knee. "How may I help, sir? Shall I kill the Uchihas? The Uzumaki? Who, my lord?"

"Nobody else for tonight," I said simply. "However, there's a woman that I've been meaning to settle a score with. Her name is Jennifer, and her daughter is the one that's missing, and now dead. Find and eliminate her silently."

"Yes, my lord. What shall I do with Uzumaki and Uchihas?" he asked, and I glanced over at them.

"I shall dispose of them," I told him, and the trio began screaming and struggling immediately. "Go – I want the deed done before forty-eight hours is over."

"Yes, my lord," he said before racing away. I waited until he was safely gone for five minutes, with no chakra signature in sight before turning to the now-frenzied trio.

"I'll need you three to turn yourselves into protective custody. Give a detailed description of the man you just saw, as best you can. Give them this message," I instructed, handing them a note to give to the cops. I quickly took a knife to their ropes, and led them away to a CSI station. "Stay here until they let you out of protective custody."

"Thank you so much," the two women sobbed, and I pushed the trio inside. the CSI's were instantly alert, and one even raced off after me. He didn't get very far since I'd vanished onto the rooftops by leaping between light poles and the buildings.

"What the hell?" I heard the cop yell. "Get out here! You're under arrest for resisting arrest and leaving the scene of a crime! Get out here, you damn hermaphrodite!"

"Call my master a hermaphrodite, will you?" I heard the Kabuto imposter ask, and the cop cringed. I knew it was now or never, so I sent a kunai down to the man's hip, and leapt atop it. I covered the cop's mouth with my hand, clamping the other on his throat.

"Kabuto," I growled, and he nodded before flinching.

"Orochimaru-sama," he began, and I leered at him. "With all due, respect, sir…"

"Get. Out. Of. My. Sight," I growled menacingly, my chakra radiating bloodlust, and the Kabuto imposter bowed lowly before leaving. I carried the cop to the station, and carried him inside.

"What the hell?" he yelled in shock as I began racing him down to the morgue.

"Relax, they'll stitch you up," I said simply. "I can't stay – I'm not Orochimaru," I explained to him. "I need all of you to listen carefully."

The other CSI's crowded over with the exception of three that were getting a testimony from the trio I'd rescued earlier. The mortician began stitching the cop's skin shut.

"Knife wound on our friend here matches the knife wounds found on some of our victims," he reported, and I nodded.

"Standard issue for a ninja," I reasoned. "Look, I know you guys don't trust me since I can boss him around, but I need you guys to listen. I'm not who the Kabuto imposter thinks I am. He thinks I'm his master, Orochimaru, but I'm not."

"Prove it," one of the females said quietly, yet gently. I smiled, and dropped the henge.

"My real name is Sarah Denning," I told them. "My mother tried to kill me, so I ran away. She tried to kill me again yesterday, and I used my powers to transform into someone else and get away. You're going to think I'm crazy for this, but our Kabuto imposter has the same powers as me. I use mine to protect people – as you saw earlier with our trio that I practically drug here and your friend. The Kabuto imposter uses it to kill people he deems as his master's enemies."

"The bodies are piling up – do you have a name?" one of the males, an older one with a slight beard, asked. I sighed and almost shook my head, reading that his jacket said 'Gravem'.

"His real name is Yamamoto Kiragi of the Sand," I told them. "However, the thinks he's Yakushi Kabuto of the Sound. Big problem for us Otonin."

"So, where is he going now?" one of the cops said.

"I ordered him to find my mother," I told them simply. "She's probably on trial, so he probably won't attack unless he gets desperate, which he'll get caught for."

"The kid's smart," one of the others said. "She really knows what she's doing."

"Thanks," I grinned. "I've done my time in Psychology class and watched quite a few CSI shows. I can almost wrap a confession around my finger with them if I wanted to."

"Where do you think you're going?" one of the females, a blonde, asked as I stood up to leave.

"Why, Otogakure of course!" I smiled, and raced out the door and the building. As soon as the alarm was raised, the other cops were on high alert. I fled, using my invisibility jutsu, and headed out into the night.

By dawn, I was tired, and noticed that the Kabuto imposter was following me closely. I fell asleep, then woke up at about noon in the desert. I frowned, not knowing what was going on. Then I felt it – a searing pain in my legs, and shade above me.

I was being crushed under a car.

"Kabuto! Kabuto-san, stop!" I cried out. "I'm an otonin, like you!" I yelled out, showing him my headband.

"You tricked me," he growled angrily before the car completely covered me. "You thought you could pass as Orochimaru-sama and get away with it? You'll die for your insolence!"

"Stop! Don't do this!" I begged, then raced to weave hand signs. He clamped my hands apart suddenly.

"I knew it. You're a little lying bitch, the Denning's daughter who's supposed to be dead. Heh, I'll get more of Orochimaru-sama's favor by killing a bounty like you!" he growled as he snapped and broke my left wrist and right arm. I winced, not showing the least bit of pain behind my eyes. "Not a little whiner, huh? Well, we'll see how you like being eaten alive by wolves!"

"Get back here! Get back you and fight me like a man you yellow-bellied coward murderer!" I screamed at him, and winced in pain at my arms. I forced myself to sleep, knowing it would keep me alive longer if I slept during the day and was active at night.

With much effort, and a lot of pain and chakra, I forced my way into the fetal position inside the car, stopping to get out only when the car began flooding during the torrential downpour. I frowned in exhaustion as I was forced to stay moving during the day, using the stars and sun to find my location. I ran down the canyon and through the sands, avoiding the highway, and digging through wet sand for water, or slicing a cactus when I was thirsty.

Finally, after two days, I was exhausted more than ever before, even more than after I'd given birth to Akuma. I continued on my way, desperate for something to help me, holding a mirror in my hand so that someone could see me from the road if needs be. I collapsed, and began hallucinating that Gaara's sand was closing in around me. Kabuto didn't kill me so Gaara wanted payback for me lying to him, huh? Well, I was dying anyways. I sighed and let the sands swallow me whole, not even caring that it got inside my nostrils for a few seconds.

"Sarah," I heard Gaara say, and I sighed out my nose, opening my eyes to what I thought would be the sky.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I was now underneath a pillar, one next to the Kazekage's office, and Shikamaru Nara was there too. I stared in shock, blew my nose, shook my glasses to clean them, and put them back on to verify where I was. Sunagakure, the village hiding in the Sand.

"You were calling out to me," Gaara said simply, and I stared at him. "You were dying in a desert – I was using my sand to track you, but it would only work if you were dying in the desert. Do you remember?"

"The pact," I realized. "The one that I'd practiced the jutsu for the first time ever yet it worked. But, how?"

"Sympathy link," he said simply, and I smiled before going into a coughing fit.

"Go – back," I coughed. "Killer…at…large…must…catch…Suna…rogue…"

"Suna rogue?" Gaara asked, his eyes wide, and I nodded. "It's settled. The elders ordered me to find the rogue that was tracking Kabuto, thinking he went to Orochimaru, but you're telling me he's in your hometown?"

I nodded, and he used his sand to transport the two of us back to Earth where I'd been before. I was still dying, and I needed to get out of the heat, fast. Gaara set up a sand umbrella and began walking towards the road. I heard helicopters in the distance, and knew what that meant: help was on the way. I let my legs give out, and Gaara stared at me in shock.

"Go," I croaked. "They'll try to kill you if you stay. Meet up with me once I reopen the sympathy link in the desert."

"Be careful," he said before leaving.

I watched the Helicopter fly overhead, then used a signal to get their attention: I shone my mirror in its direction. I watched as the helicopter circled around and came back over me once, twice, three times more. I let my mirror fall on my stomach as I let the darkness cave in around me.

"Sarah," I heard one of the cops say, and I opened my eyes hesitantly. I was in a hospital, and was surrounded by cops. Great.

"You gave us quite a scare," the blonde said gently. I recognized her from the morgue, as well as the brunette who had said my name to get me to wake up.

"How? When?" I croaked, and heard the beeping of the pulse checker quicken.

"You'd been out there for three days with almost no food and very little water," the brunette said. "That happened to me once, but I was in a worse condition than you when I got out. How'd you do it?"

"Cut open cactuses," I replied, and they gave a look that said 'yeah, that would work, I guess.'

"Thirsty?" the blonde asked as I began coughing and looking around desperately for water. "Here," she said handing me some water. "They've got an IV into you, but bottled water can't hurt."

"Whoa, slow town there, tigress!" the brunette said. Satyr, it read on her CSI jacket. Maple was what the blonde read.

"More," I said, my voice just barely cracking. "What's the damage?"

"Left wrist broken, right arm broken, both legs badly bruised, and…um…" Satyr cut off. I stared at her calmly until she finally continued. "A miscarriage."

"No," I sobbed, desperate for reassurance that my newest child wasn't destroyed. "No, please tell me it's a lie. No, I can't lose it. No, _no_, NO!"I screamed, desperate for relief. A nurse came in and went to inject something into my IV, but I stopped her by smacking her hand and sending the syringe flying, a kunai after it to destroy it.

"Ma'am, please calm down!" she said, and I glared at her as cruelly as I could, and sent out a genjutsu that rivaled that of the one Orochimaru sent out on Sasuke and Sakura in the forest of death.

Everyone else in the room lost their previous meals to the floor. I didn't care anymore – I wanted Orochimaru, I wanted him next to me. I screamed and screamed for him, writhing and fighting to no end until five cops and a nurse finally got a syringe of medicine into me.

Even in my sleep I screamed in defiance and sorrow. I screamed as people flashed before me – Naruto, teasing and taunting me saying that he'd kill me if I bore Orochimaru's child. Ino and Sakura kept saying that I was too much of a bitch to be a mother. Sasuke mocked me with his Sharingan, and Kakashi kept staring at me and shrugging it off. The other Eight Newbies were also teasing me – some were saying I was too weak, others were saying that I was too emotional, too hardworking, or too clinically insane. The jonin joined in, saying that any child of mine would be a bastard because I was an otonin, and had betrayed the leaf Village, when Tsunade had told them I'd been given as Tribute!

My subconscious must have gone out and called for help, because finally, all the teasing stopped as one person pulled me into a loving embrace.

Orochimaru.

"I'm so sorry – I'm so, so sorry," I kept repeating to him, crying my eyes out. He stood there and let me cry, never once saying a word. "I failed you – I failed our children." I didn't even realize I'd made it plural until he flinched.

Orochimaru knew this wasn't his normal dreams. One minute, he was dreaming about Akuma on his knees after he'd conquered Kumogakure, and being seated on a throne. The next, Sarah was screaming her head off as shadows of her former comrades were saying something to her. He raced over to her, dispelling the shadows, and embraced her lovingly as only a husband could.

"I'm so sorry – I'm so, so sorry," she kept sobbing. What the hell was she crying about now? Honestly, he'd _had _to marry a hormonal crybaby. Knowing that letting her cry was the best route to take, he decided to let her in peace.

He gently shifted her mouth out of his shirt so she could breathe better, and let her continue crying. "I failed you – I failed our children," she'd said. Wait – _children?_ Plural? He flinched as a familiar ominous premonition filled his gut.

"Shh, it's alright pet. Just tell me what went wrong," he began soothing as he sat her down on a tree stump in a forest. Okay, forest? Why not city landscape, or hideout?

"Everything!" she screamed, and he flinched once more as her words cut deeper than the deepest knives.

"Everything!" I screamed in despair. I saw him flinch, but I didn't care anymore. "First I get sent back to my world, then I get found out because some stupid cop tried following me when I rescued someone, the serial killer followed _him_, then the killer puts me under a car and hurts me, then I'm stuck in the desert for three days with only cacti for food and water, and then a cop tells me that I have a broken wrist, a broken arm, my legs are bruised and – and-!" I cut off, unable to choke out the words to him. "And I've just lost my baby!"

"Shh, pet, Akuma's fine," Orochimaru soothed. "He's perfectly healthy, I promise."

"That's not what – I give up!" I screamed, not making heads or tails out of what he was talking about. What part of 'miscarriage' did he not understand? Surely he sensed that – right? "I give up! If you can't tell the difference between embryo and baby, then I. Fucking. GIVE. UP!"

I stormed off, sobbing at the loss of my unborn child, wanting nothing more than to disappear. Secretly, I wanted Orochimaru to either hug or kill me – at that moment, I didn't care which.

Orochimaru stared as she stormed away from him, the reality of what she'd been saying sinking in. The baby was dead. Akuma was healthy. She was suddenly confused that he couldn't tell an embryo from an infant. Oh. _Oh._

She'd been pregnant a second time.

"Sarah! Sarah," he called out her name desperately, knowing now why she was upset and over-hormonal again. He raced off to find her, praying he wasn't too late. He found her sobbing her eyes and heart out in a clearing once more, and it was tearing holes in his heart.

"Go away," she sobbed, and he came up beside her.

"Angel," he said softly. "I could never be angry at you for this. If anyone is at fault, it's Tsunade. She knew, and she let you come anyways. As soon as we find him, we'll kill him for killing our unborn child."

"No, the balance mustn't be broken," I said sadly. "We'll have to transfer my mother over to Otogakure and then another ninja over to our world. D-daughter…"

"It was a...girl?" Orochimaru asked softly, and I nodded. "You had a Hyuuga check, didn't you?" I nodded once more. "Oh, sweetheart, shhh. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. Through good and the bad, that's what we promised. I'll leave you, but only for a few minutes while I go get your mother into Otogakure dungeons and then a prisoner ninja to Earth."

"Promise you'll be back," I sobbed, and he nodded.

"I'll send Tsunade your way to see if she can stabilize the baby or if she's really lost," he said, a faint glimmer of hope at least trying to squeeze through.

I snapped my eyes open to find the room empty once more except the two female CSI's as before. They eyed each other, and then stared at Tsunade as she walked in. I sat up, happy that Orochimaru had made good on his word.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah, I should have known," she apologized, her arms out to me, and the two CSI's tensed up. "ANBU, huh? You really dug a grave this time, kiddo. Can I see?"

I sat up, and opened up my hospital gown for her to stick her hand on my stomach. I felt my eyes begin to water, and tried to keep it in.

"Is – is she?" I pled, and she sighed.

"She's still inside, but just barely. I'm going to put you on a strict regime if you're going to keep this baby," she warned.

"Anything!" I pled, desperate, and she nodded.

"No ninjutsu training until she's born. Taijutsu, wait four months. Genjutsu – be careful. Don't overdo it. No drinking anything alcoholic, but I doubt I'll have to worry about that for you," she joked sincerely. "Let's see… ah, yes – the most important rule, is to make sure this doesn't happen ever again during the pregnancy. No getting too dehydrated, no getting hit or kicked in the gut – I recommend finding a room away from Orochimaru for the time being – and absolutely, under any circumstances, _no sexual activity._ Try not to get hit with Kunai or shuriken, that'd be good, and no smoking or doing any kind of drugs! Again, not your problem."

"Thanks, Tsunade-san," I sighed in relief. "That makes me feel so much better."

"Don't get too relieved just yet – you're still having a miscarriage. You were just carrying twins when it happened," she said sternly, and Sakura, Lee, Choji, Hinata, Orochimaru's and my jaw dropped.

"Twins?" Orochimaru asked, and the two CSI's tensed up even more.

"It's okay, he's my husband," I told them, and the Konoha genin stared at me. "And the others are my friends."

"Since when do _you _visit hospital patients, Orochimaru?" Sakura asked with a hand on one hip. "To wish them happy deaths?"

"Sakura, you should know by now that I _hate _repeating myself," I said loudly at the end for emphasis. "How shut your big yap, you over-obsessed sas-_gay_ fangirl."

"Now, now, Kit, let's play nice," Orochimaru chuckled. "Even if she is a mouse."

"Haruno, Sakura. Akimichi, Choji. Rock Lee. Hyuuga, Hinata. I'm assigning you to protect Sarah while she's in this country. Orochimaru and I will be tracking down that serial killer," Tsunade said sternly.

"And dragging him off to give him a taste of his own medicine," Orochimaru growled into my ear.

"Yes!" I yelled loudly, then winced and gasped in pain. "Ow, ow, ow, ow. Owww!"

"Orochimaru, I'll brief you on her injuries on the way," Tsunade said businesslike, and he nodded as he led the way out of the hospital.

"Now what?" CSI Maple asked.

"Anybody up for a game of Spades?" Lee asked, pulling out a deck of cards. "or maybe some pushups, Sarah-san?"

"Sorry, Lee. No training whatsoever for the next few months. Not until I'm sure that this little one is safe and sound," I smiled softly as I put a hand on my stomach to spell out what I was saying.

"But, that's impossible! It was a miscarriage!" CSI Satyr said, and I glared.

"How often must I say that I hate repeating myself?" I asked, and they realized what I was talking about. I frowned, then yawned. "I wonder who the other helper is."

"Sarah-san," Gaara said as he whisked in using his sand. "I'm glad to see you're recovering."

"Thanks," I said smiling. "How're Kankurou and Temari doing?"

"They're avoiding me somewhat," he said with a shrug. "But they've always done that. Less now that Naruto helped me."

"Yeah, he sure is a life-changer," I said sadly, knowing he'd get really mad when he figured out what had happened to me. "Guys, go out for a bit. I want to talk to Gaara alone." They filed out, and about two minutes later, Naruto came in from the other direction.

"I heard you got used as tribute," Naruto growled out angrily as he walked in, and I froze.

"Naruto, I can explain," I said, putting my hands up. "It's not my fault! Orochimaru-!"

"I know what he did, you traitorous bitch! He supposedly 'raped' you and attacked Konoha to get you and your damn bastard child back!" he yelled angrily. "And then you go and say that you're his wife? What are you – his prisoner or his wife? Make up your mind!" he yelled angrily as he prepared to hit my gut.

His Rasengan connected with Sand.

"Naruto, let her explain," Gaara said calmly, using the sand to protect me.

"Naruto, you've always been the younger brother I never had," I said, tears beginning to well up in my eyes. "I knew you'd get mad if I said Orochimaru raped me, and I knew you'd try to kill the baby. So I went to sand for protection from that and a bunch of rogues who are after my cousin and me. I knew Konoha would want to punish my baby for what his father did, and I begged Tsunade to let me keep him. She agreed, knowing that Orochimaru would get pissed off and attack Konoha if he figured out I was pregnant with his kid. Well, somehow he found out while I was still pregnant, and attacked Konoha a few days after I gave birth. I went to Sound calmly to stop his attack on the village. I forced him to sign a blood pact that makes it to where he isn't allowed to attack Konoha as long as three conditions are met – I'm in the Sound. His and my children are in the Sound. And Tsunade is Hokage. Over the months, he's grown on me. He started spoiling me and the baby, and I… I got pregnant again."

"Yeah, with a baby you almost lost," he spat. "If it hadn't been twins, and for Lady Hokage pitying you, you'd have lost that infant that's still inside you. Besides that, Orochimaru was only using you to get his damn heir!"

"No, I think Orochimaru wants to keep me pregnant as much as possible," I said with a soft smile.

"I heard that!" he yelled, and I half jumped out of bed.

"Of course, the mirror," I laughed. "Hey, monster."

"Face me towards Naruto," Tsunade ordered, and I did. "Naruto, if you so much as even think about attacking her, most especially her gut, I will go over there and tear you limb from limb! And I'll let Orochimaru torture you half to death!"

"No objections here for that punishment," Orochimaru grinned. "Speaking of punishments, what would you prefer your attacker's punishment to be, pet?"

"Flaming hot senbons turning him into a monster," I replied, and the others all stared at me. "What? Oh, and for a backup plan if we don't get permission for that – make him watch gay porno and shove beer bottles up his butt."

"Count me in on that punishment!" Tsunade laughed, and Orochimaru chuckled alongside her.

"I'll see what I can do," Orochimaru said. "I'm not making any promises."

"Thanks, Maru," I said before the mirror went back to being a regular mirror. I looked at myself in it – I was as pale and skinny as he was in the face, and my curves were mostly gone from jutsu usage to keep myself alive. I was sickly pale all over, but not as bad as Orochimaru. I had heavy dark circles under and around my eyes, but not nearly as prominent as Gaara's. And my brown hair had gotten so matted that they'd chopped it short, like Hinata's.

"You bitch!" Naruto yelled, and I watched the two CSI's force him out of the room and lock the door behind them as Hinata, Lee, and Choji headed back in.

"Show me Orochimaru," I said to the mirror, and it glowed purple once more.

"Well, the courts had ruled that her punishment be punished by you," one of the judges said in Arkansas. I stared in shock at Orochimaru's persuasion skills. "And we'll take that um – ANBU member as a new cop. Thanks a bundle for helping us catch that serial killer!"

"Not at all," Orochimaru purred. "I merely felt it was my civil duty since he kept calling me 'my lord' for some strange reason. I don't even know the lunatic!"

"Well, that went extremely well," Tsunade grinned.

"Indeed – ah, now, now, pet, no need to be prying. Or are you really too bored in there?" he teased as he pulled the mirror back out.

"Naruto - !" I said, but cut off, recalling that nobody liked a snitch. "Naruto needs to work on his temper. Can you tell Jiraiya-sama that for me, Tsunade-sama? I mean, you two _are _his teammates."

"Well, that'll require – he attacked you, didn't he?" Tsunade asked, and I bit my lip. Orochimaru nodded as a translation for Tsunade, knowing that nobody liked a snitch.

"Think about it, Nade," Orochimaru laughed. "How would you feel if you'd lost one of your twins and Nawaki-kun tried to kill your other twin because of who the father was?"

"I'd hate that," Tsunade said sadly. "I can see your point of silence, and the long face, Sarah. We need to get you a different name. Something more Japanese."

"Too late," Orochimaru grumbled, and I jumped as I heard a loud thunderclap. "Best be getting to bed, pet. I want you well rested for the trip home."

"Hai, Orochimaru," I said before putting my mirror on my nightstand. I stared as Hinata resealed it in a scroll. "Thanks, Hinata-san. That mirror – it was the first present Orochimaru ever gave me. It was right after he'd brought me back to Sound as tribute, and he'd said it was a late birthday present for me so I could watch my family whenever I wanted since he noticed I was still pining after them a lot."

"It's been a year, hasn't it?" Hinata asked hesitantly, and I nodded. "It's so hard to believe."

"I know – I'm almost twenty," I said in shock. "Twenty in a few months' time, and I probably might go to the next Chunin exams if I can wing it."


	17. Tests? Who likes Tests now?

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

I grinned as I walked back into the hideout. My mother was now behind our very own prisoner cell bars, my baby wasn't all the way inside me, but I still had my friends throughout the ninja world.

"Sarah," Orochimaru said calmly. "I performed a small experiment to ensure our daughter's safety. She is now inside of a surrogate mother, and you are to go to the upcoming Chunin exams."

"I – what?" I gasped, staring at him. "You put our daughter inside another woman so you could send me to the Chunin exams?"

"Someone has to meet up with my spies in Kiri, Kumo and Iwa," he retorted. "And it's far past time for you to show me your other pets, and advance in rank.

I stared at Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi and Guy as they talked to each other about the upcoming exams.

"We can't trust her!" Kakashi growled. "Think about it. She's good with doppelgangers and uses them to master jutsus. Let's say she creates three hundred clones to work on jutsu, and uses about fifty clones per jutsu. That's seven jutsu in one day alone counting the one that she masters with her real body! Now, let's say that she does that every day for a week. That's forty-nine jutsu in a week, that's a hundred and ninety-six in a month!"

"Even Orochimaru doesn't have that many jutsu!" Kurenai snapped angrily.

"My point exactly! If he takes over her body, he'll get more and more jutsu! She's even been creating jutsu! She lives with Orochimaru, Kurenai! She's _bound _to betray everybody!" Kakashi argued.

"That's where I think you're wrong, Kakashi!" Guy said affectionately. "Three hundred clones – now think, not all of them are for ninjutsu. She could be using one hundred for ninjutsu, one hundred for genjutsu, one hundred for taijutsu, and the real body could alternate every day."

"That's still a lot of growth, Guy," Asuma pointed out. "By now she's probably Jonin rank."

"Then why is she just now taking the Chunin exams?" Sakura asked confused as she walked in, having only heard the last sentence.

"Because she's just now rooted herself to one specific village – the Sound, to be precise," Kakashi explained like she was an idiot. "Orochimaru's main village. For all we know, he has another spy here and is using her to communicate with said spy!"

"Hey, guys," Neji said worriedly as he walked up, "you _do _realize that Denina-san is back in the village, right?"

"Thanks for the warning," I muttered, and vanished in a small puff of smoke.

I smiled more broadly as my doppelgangers gave me more information from their various locations throughout Konoha. Kakashi and Guy were right – I'd been using doppelgangers to help with my training. Two hundred jutsu so far in my short training as a ninja, and was somewhat better at Taijutsu and Genjutsu. I'd been using four hundred doppelgangers instead of two hundred like they'd calculated. At the end of every day, however, I was exhausted to the point of Orochimaru carrying me indoors and back to bed. My training regimen was extremely strict, and I was on a higher level than most Chunin, but lower than most Jonin.

I grinned, and dispersed a bunshin out to the three kunoichi who weren't medics. They saw them, alerted their teammates (to which Neji already knew by my chakra signature nearby), and the genin all began tracking me in an attempt to find me. As soon as the ten of them were gathered at the building of the Chunin exams, I dispersed the bunshin. Sighing in boredom, I began looking around and watched as shinobi from a myriad of different countries come in three by three. I'd been sitting in the testing room since eight in the morning, just waiting for something interesting to happen.

"Sarah-san?" Lee asked as he and the other eight I knew from Konoha walked in. I stared at him and grinned as I watched a trio from the grass walk in from behind him - a trio I knew that Orochimaru was impersonating with help from a couple Otonin, and that Kabuto was probably at home with Akuma and our new surrogate mother.

"Lee-san," I greeted warmly in recognition. "Daisuke-san, Katamaru-san."

"Sarah-san," Katamaru and Daisuke said in unison. "Nice to see you're still alive after that last attack about a year ago," Daisuke said menacingly, not realizing I was one of Orochimaru's special ones.

"Don't worry, Daisuke-san," I grinned, "I'll be sure to throw everything I've got at you in the forest of death."

"Second time through?" Neji asked, and I grinned.

"First - I've got my little birdies," I said sweetly, and Ibiki arrived in the same loud fashion as he had in the show.

"You, Sound! No getting violent without the proctor's permission! Especially you, Denina!"

"Screw you, Ibiki! I can twirl your jutsu and interrogators in circles of confusion if I wanted to!" I yelled across the room, and two of the Chunin actually had to hold him back to keep him from attacking me.

I couldn't read jack of what they were writing on the test, so I used sound like Dosu had to figure out the answers and characters, and Katamaru was slipping me an answer or two from across the room using a telepathic jutsu he'd discovered. I grinned as I got my own answers from around the room - I'd set up invisible doppelgangers throughout the room to keep an eye on the two Chunin with all the answers. When I was in between questions or done, I flipped my test over and began writing in jumbled Katakana how the others were cheating.

Hyuga Neji & Hinata - Byakugan; Aburame Shino - beetle; Inuzuka Kiba - Akamaru (ninken); Ino - mind transfer; Akimichi Choji - Ino transfers into him; TenTen & Lee - mirrors on ceiling; Sakura - ?, probably looking around; Daisuke - hand movements of others; Katamaru - ninja animals in clothing; Me - You'll have to catch me! 3

I yawned, lay my head on the desk, and was out like a light until my neighbor nudged me awake for the final question. I stared at Ibiki as he gave it out - the same one he'd given Naruto last time.

"I give up!" I saw a small amount of ninja say in variants, and they and their teammates were escorted out of the room.

"You gave that question during the last Chunin exam, you dumbass bastard," I yelled out as some of the others from other villages were about to leave. "He's rigged it - if we stay, we pass. If we leave, we fail. You don't believe me then quit, but I worked too hard to get this far to risk it!"

When Ibiki looked around to find no more quitters, he sighed and smiled softly. "You pass!" He announced. Suddenly, Anko burst in through the window once more.

"You passed more this time than the time Uzumaki was here!" She yelled angrily over her shoulder at Ibiki.

"They had help from an expert," Ibiki said looking my way.

"Long time, no see, Anko," I greeted, and her eyes shot open towards me like a deer's in headlights. "Fancy seeing you as the proctor over the second exam, what with that accident during the last exams that you failed to clean up. If I recall correctly, didn't it ensue in a battle of some sort?"

"Sh-shut up!" She stammered, and looked around for Lucifer. Not seeing him, she relaxed visibly. "Your Sensei isn't around to protect you this time around, and you're on my turf now!"

"How ironic that we share a Sensei and yet he'd be willing to kill you for getting in his way, when he'd simply give me something to occupy my time when I do!" I taunted, and she shuddered and glared.

"...Moving on to the second exam!" She said obviously desperate for a change of subject. She led us out to the Forest of Death, and I grinned at the thought of showing Orochimaru my other Pokémon that he hadn't seen yet. "We'll need you to sign these consent forms saying that we aren't responsible for any injuries or deaths that may occur during these exams! You're to gather two scrolls – one of heaven, one of earth – and get to the tower within five day's time."

"Slut," I smirked as I walked past her. "Who are you sleeping with this week? Ibiki? Iruka? Mizuki? Or did your lack of sex life drive you to proctor the exams to sleep with some foreign ninja?"

"You -!" she yelled angrily, and threw a kunai at my face, which I neatly dodged.

"Really? And here I thought proctors weren't supposed to attack the ones they're supervising until after they'd given the all clear signal," I said smugly, knowing that Orochimaru was radiating bloodlust yet again.

"Watch it, kid, or I'll kill you myself," she growled out as she passed me to collect the forms.

"I'll keep the scroll," I told my teammates, and they nodded. Nobody was going to pick a fight with a kunoichi, which they knew, and even they hadn't even seen any of my summoning contracts yet. "I'm the strongest in this trio by far."

I walked over to gate Twenty, ironically the same gate that the previous team of Otonin had had. I glanced over at gate fifteen and found Katamaru staring at my team, more specifically, me. I grinned as I faced forward, knowing my mission for this round wasn't just to steal two scrolls – it was to help my fellow Konoha shinobi advance as well, so I'd need more. The bell sounded, and we raced out of the gates like horses on a racetrack, and I headed straight for a meeting spot for our gate and Katamaru's team that was about halfway through the forest. We reached there within five minutes, and grinned. We headed off, and I spotted a team of Suna ninja a ways off.

"Best not let them catch us," I smiled, performing a summoning jutsu three times fast. "Kuchiyose! Lucifer! Orochi! Korosu!"

My familiar Gengar, Serperior, and Swampert appeared before me, all ready for combat.

"All right, guys. You know the routine – get me a heaven scroll and an earth scroll! Meet me at the tower once you're done!" I ordered, and they raced off. "Now, to find my own prey," I smiled. "Ninja art: Hidden Mist jutsu!"

I snuck up behind three teams of ninja, one rain, one sand, and one mist. I slaughtered them all, taking all three scrolls. Two heaven and an Earth – perfect since I'd had the earth Scroll! I performed my speed jutsu and was back at the meeting point within minutes. I handed Katamaru the spare scrolls, and he raced off. I picked one of my teammates up under each arm, quickly performed the hand signs for super speed once more, and raced off towards the tower. I grinned, knowing that no ninja would ever be able to catch up to me unless they were a Sannin rank or higher.

I landed at the tower, and stared around. No Pokémon in sight. I performed the seals necessary and summoned Phantasm. I nodded, and he transformed into a perfect replica of me, and I told him to tell the others to give their scrolls to Katamaru, the grass ninja, and to tell him to quit the exams. I'd also told him to reveal himself to Katamaru and for the four of them to go home once they were done giving him their scrolls, as well as tell Katamaru to give his spare scrolls to the Rookie nine, and for him to trust Orochimaru more if he should come along. He nodded, and I led my teammates inside. I'd explained the test on the way, and they opened the scrolls unanimously and threw them on the floor.

In a puff of smoke, Kurenai appeared.

"I was wondering when you would pass, but I didn't think it would be this quickly," she said shocked.

"I have my ways," I grinned. "And a ninja never reveals their secrets. I passed, no?"

"Yes, you passed the second exam. Well done," Kurenai said simply. "We'll need the three of you to stay in this tower until it comes time for the next exam."

"No problem," I said shrugging as I headed off to a side bedroom. "Lets us restore our chakra and energy."

Once I was inside and sure that nobody had set trackers on me of any kind, I pulled my mirror out of a sealing/summoning scroll I'd placed on it, as well as a few other things in my bedroom – my python that Orochimaru had won bowling (which I'd christened "Nagini"), my special two-pronged Kunai that Orochimaru had given me for Christmas (to which I'd retaliated by giving him an entirely new set of forbidden jutsu from the Sand), and finally, my special locket that I'd had made with a bracelet on it.

"Show me Orochimaru," I said quietly, and a vague picture of Katamaru showed in its glass. "I knew it. That no-count-good-for-noth-Oh!" I cut off as Daisuke of Iwagakure walked out to meet him.

"The scroll you requested," Daisuke said quietly. "And, the earth scroll?"

"It is yours," Orochimaru smiled. "And your…cousin?"

"Still with the Kirigakure ninja groups," he replied, and Orochimaru smirked as he raced to find his other two jutsu researchers. The second and third ninja spies, the Kirigakure and Kumogakure spies were thrown off guard by a large snake.

"Here, Orochimaru-sama," they said in shock since he'd revealed his face. "The scrolls you requested."

"The heaven and Earth scroll," he explained, tossing it at their feet. "Do as you please with it."

"Show me Mitarashi Anko," I told the mirror, and it glazed over for a few seconds.

"Well, Anko? What am I supposed to be looking at?" Tsunade asked as she stared at my image on the screen. I'd been so careful not to get caught that I'd missed that.

"It's what you _don't _see, Hokage-sama," Anko replied stiffly, and Tsunade gasped.

"How- the previous record was broken by…an hour… she spent _half an hour_ in the Forest?" Tsunade practically screamed. "And there's not even a scratch on her? What the hell did she think it was - a leisure stroll?"

"I don't know, but she had both scrolls," Anko said wearily. "And that's not all – one of the ANBU saw her summoning three large creatures, then another ANBU saw her summon a fourth at the tower to communicate with the other three. The fourth somehow transformed itself into a perfect replica of her."

"We've got to find and eliminate these creatures before they get loose and destroy the village," Tsunade frowned. "Should we bring her in for questioning, or not, that's my question. What do you think?"

"I think we need to kill her so we don't have to deal with her later," Anko grinned evilly.

"Even if he doesn't experiment on her, if we do that, he'll attack again," Tsunade snapped. "My main concern is why she's here in the first place – I strictly told her no jutsu for a few months and no Chunin exams until next time. What the hell is Orochimaru thinking?"

"Who in this world knows what that damn bastard snake is thinking now, Hokage-sama," Anko sighed. "Should we alert him to her participating in the final rounds?"

"I don't think it wise, but we don't have a choice. Send…Send a messenger hawk over to him," Tsunade said nodding. "We don't want to lose our Chunin."

"Oh, there's no need for that, Tsunade," Orochimaru grinned as he walked in. "I've been here waiting on her the entire time."

"Nice kid, Sensei. You going to ditch it like you did me?" Anko asked angrily.

"Good heavens no! I know you're wondering why she's here, Tsunade. I've put the child inside of a surrogate for Sarah's own safety. Her body was too weak to carry a second so soon after the first," Orochimaru snapped, then smirked. "She seemed to be extremely interested in becoming a Chunin, and I decided to let her try."

"Are you out of your mind? Placing an embryo inside of a separate mother than its biological one? What is wrong with you, you twisted, demented lunatic!" Anko shouted angrily.

"Now, now, Anko, I'm here for the exams. It's a time of peace, need I remind you, and if you attack me, you'll be breaking not one, but _two_ treaties. I'm sure you don't need to be reminded of the second one," he sneered, and Anko grit her teeth in frustration. "Truth be told, I'm quite proud of Sarah's accomplishments. She's come a long way since the scared, terrified, backpack-carrying nomad she was a year ago, eh, Tsunade?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "What ever happened to that little innocent kid? She was so sweet and harmless, and now look at her – blood thirst that rivals yours!"

"It's an acquired taste," he laughed. "She's only blood-thirsty when someone threatens her life or our child."

"Wait, that kid is _yours_?" Anko screeched. "What kind of teacher sleeps with his protégé?"

"She wasn't acting as my protégé when I slept with her, Anko. She is both my wife and my student, and they wield two completely different roles. And besides that, I raped her when she was on a mission for Konoha – I couldn't resist since Kabuto had overheard her telling Shizune how she'd come from a different world, and I wanted her in my hideouts at all costs."

"To experiment or study behavior?" Anko growled, and Orochimaru held up two fingers as he lifted a snake above a now-crying Akuma. "And what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"He likes them," Orochimaru explained as Akuma stopped crying. "Whenever he starts crying for no reason, Sarah or I will lift a snake above his head and he'll immediately stop. Like so. How's my medic?"

"We're working on her," Tsunade snapped, and I flinched and put the mirror down so I could go to sleep.

I pretty much repeated this routine over the next few days while waiting for the next exam, bored out of my mind. I'd watched Neji and Lee's team reach the tower first, then Ino, Choji, and Sakura. They'd all reacted very amusingly as they saw Orochimaru holding Akuma. He'd been standing around in the hallways, bored, and had leered at Sakura, who had almost raced up to punch him.

"Wait'll I get my hands on that bastard rape by-product of yours!" she yelled angrily as Ino's doppelganger and Choji dragged her away. "Mark my words, that monster will be dead before it reaches puberty!"

"We shall see," Orochimaru leered at her. He turned to the other four rookies, and they all flinched. "And I presume the four of you are going to say something in a like manner?"

"Why did you attack Sasuke?" Ino yelled. "He was finally falling in love with me!"

"Don't delude yourself, girl. Sasuke-kun hated all of his fangirls and wanted them dead – with one exception that was just dragged away," Orochimaru chuckled. "Young love is such a foolish thing. I myself almost fell prey to it – until reality set in that she was off limits."

"Off limits? What kind of Kunoichi is off limits?" Neji asked shocked. "Teammates or Hyuga clan members? Uchiha? Aburame?"

"Senju," Orochimaru retorted. "Your current Hokage, to be exact. I only came to my senses when she almost killed Jiraiya for peeping at the girls' spa. One of the more amusing injuries he received, and I was tempted to sever a few vital parts of his body."

"Wait, like, his – his man parts?" TenTen asked her eyes wide.

"My my, we have a little pervert," Orochimaru smirked. "But, yes. That's what I was referring to."

"What's with the snake?" Lee asked, staring at it.

"It keeps Akuma calm when he wakes up. I guess you could say it's like his version of a crib ornament. It took us a month to figure out what he wanted," Orochimaru laughed as he looked down at Akuma, who had just woken up and started playing with the snake. "And Sarah blames me for making Akuma a daddy's boy – hah! He does that himself, don't you demon?"

"Aah," Akuma gurgled, a very vocal baby. Orochimaru chuckled, and lifted the infant to rest on his shoulder. Bad move.

"Ow," Orochimaru jolted when Akuma began pulling on his earring and hair. "Ow, Akuma, no! Damn it, where's Sarah when I need her? Akuma, no, daddy is not a toy!"

At this point the four genin were about to roll around on the ground bursting with laughter, until another ninja showed up that they recognized – Kabuto.

"Allow me, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said as he began to gently pry Akuma's tiny fingers off of Orochimaru's earring. "Might I suggest a different style while Sarah-sama is busy so Akuma-kun doesn't repeat this?"

"Don't patronize me," Orochimaru said as Kabuto finally lured Akuma away with a kunai knife. He switched Akuma over to his opposite arm so he could rub his sore ear. "And don't hold that up to him – it's too dangerous."

Kabuto withdrew his kunai, and Akuma immediately began crying. Orochimaru sighed and rolled his eyes at our son's behavior. I laughed openly, and only Orochimaru didn't jump. Kabuto withdrew Orochimaru's mirror, which was glowing green, then purple, and Orochimaru glared at him.

"Having fun?" Orochimaru growled and I laughed at the same time. "Oh, that's really mature, love. Will you stop that?"

"Holy crap, they're like two peas in a pod," Lee muttered, and Orochimaru turned his glare at him.

"I'll be out in a bit," I told them, and re-sealed the mirror back in my scroll, which would send it home. I used a bobby pin (I came to never leave home without two to five) to pick the lock, and raced out following their chakra signatures.

"Sarah," the six greeted as they stared in shock.

"Hey, guys. Hey, snake," I greeted, taking Akuma off his hands. "How are my big boys today, huh?"

"I'm not your child," Orochimaru scowled.

I sighed, knowing he had a reputation to uphold and wouldn't be returning my affection in public. He never returned my affection in public unless we needed to put off an aura of family dynamics, which was almost never, but when it did happen he showered me with affection to make up for all the other times he couldn't do so in public.

"I know. But you spend so much time studying and experimenting that I feel like I married an overly-obsessed teenager who hasn't matured to his age yet," I said sadly. "Sometimes I wonder how Sarutobi got you to manhood."

"For all you know I did that on my own," Orochimaru snapped. "And I do not over-obsess over studying and experimenting."

"I learned a new jutsu," I smirked.

"Show me," he said quickly, instantly alert. I stared at him, and he relaxed, scowling more than ever. "I never thought I'd see the day when a female would outsmart me. I suppose it's to be expected since I am the one who trained you, though. It's time for the final exams – get to the arena. I'll be watching _very _closely." He vanished, and I handed Akuma over to Kabuto.

"Keep him safe," I said sorrowfully, and he nodded before leaping away. I led my "Teammates" over to the arena, and listened to the proctors ramble on about the next exam. Orochimaru was standing in front of us disguised as a Jonin, the genius, and the other Jonin and proctors were all staring at us. The scoring board behind them came out of the wall, and I stared as it mixed up names, and it spit out the name of one of my teammates and Neji Hyuga. I wasn't even going to bother rooting for him since I knew Neji would win.

"First two contestants please step forward! Everyone else, please go to the balcony behind you!" Tsunade ordered, and we obeyed. I stared at the two contestants, my teammate shaking.

"I-I don't think I can fight a Hyuga… I -!" he was about to chicken out. I grinned – the only reason they'd stuck through the Chunin exams until now was to make sure I got into the final rounds.

"Don't you dare chicken out! Sensei entered us into these exams because he knew we were ready, not so we could chicken out during preliminary fights!" I heard my other teammate, his twin brother, call out. He nodded, and took a bit of my confidence. Good – I'd need a good fight to keep me entertained.

"I – Fine. I'm in," he growled, but regretted it as soon as the proctor let the match begin. Neji struck my teammates tenketsu, right over the heart like he had with Hinata, and punched my teammates gut until he went flying.

I watched my teammate stumble up, then attack Neji with Sound. Right as Neji began puking his stomach contents out, my teammate vomited blood. This fight was well more than over.

"Hyuga Neji is the victor," Yugao said. Apparently she was the proctor this year since Hayete died last year. "Next up is Hyuga Hinata against Kurusaki, Otomaru."

"I don't want to die like that! I withdraw!" my teammate shouted, fearful of what had happened to his twin.

"You coward!" I yelled and I began punching him ferociously until Orochimaru cleared his throat softly, putting a hand on one of my shoulders and pointing at the scoring board. I'd apparently been punching him for a while, because four ninja were now missing from the stands, not including the two in the arena. I recognized them instantly – Rock Lee and Kirari Kaguya, Kimimaro's cousin.

"I'm warning you – you lost against my cousin, you'll die by me," she growled, and he assumed a fighter's stance. "Very well. Your funeral."

"I will be happy to face you," Lee said smiling. Oh, Lee, you were in for hell.

"Suit yourself. Camellia dance!" she yelled, and she began trying to stab him with a bone sword she'd made like Kimimaro's. Lee began realizing what he was up against once more.

"I'm stronger now than I was then!" he yelled. "Forward Lotus!" he yelled, and raced forward.

Kirari's rib bones were protruding out of her chest, her clothes special made to open and close with her chakra, at her will when she began using bones in combat. Lee stared, and she grinned, her every move calculating. She protruded a bone out of her hand and began weaving hand signs. I knew what that meant – she was going to turn the battlefield into a forest of bones. Sure enough, bones flooded in from outside, the remains of dead animals and people flooding to Kirari, and some even had goop still hanging off of them. Kirari used those bones as the upper part of the dome on Lee's side, the cleaner bones on her side.

When they emerged twenty minutes later, his clothes were barely hanging off of him, and hers were soaked through – making me glad she'd packed a jacket for the road. She and Lee walked back up to join their teammates calmly and she grinned at me, sneaking a bone-made vial corked with a throat bone. I then realized what she'd been doing – she'd trapped him and gotten some DNA from him so we could find the genetic so we could find why he couldn't use ninjutsu or chakra.

"Smart girl," I murmured, and she dismissed all of the bones to the outside of the arena as I snuck the vial to Orochimaru's shuriken holster, which usually remained empty for that sole reason.

"Kaguya Kirari is the winner!" Yugao announced, and I jumped down there.

"Don't keep me waiting," I growled, bloodthirsty and bored. There were only three others aside from myself that had to fight now. I felt like Gaara when he was bloodthirsty. I wanted a fight, and I was willing to kill to get it.

"Haruno, Sakura," Yugao announced, and Ino flinched.

"Heh, more fun for me. Let's see who wins, Sakura-san – a battle between the students of two different members of the Sannin trio. Should we get started?" I grinned, giving away who my mentor was.

"Orochimaru," she gasped, barely audible, and I nodded.

"Yes, he was my mentor after I left the leaf, and was extremely adamant and strict about it. I was never allowed a break until I got pregnant," I told her, and the others gasped, wondering why I was even there if I had a child. "You see, I've got a bit of a personal nanny to help me with the baby since Sensei is so strict. She has never betrayed my trust, and is more than happy to help me since I'm like the sister she's never had. Show me what you can do, Sakura. Show me the power of the Legendary Slug Queen, and I'll show you the power of the Legendary Snake King."

"No – Proctor!" Sakura objected, and Yugao shook her head. "Can't she be disqualified?"

"For being the student of a Sannin? That would disqualify both of us, Sakura-san," I taunted, and she stared at me in fear. "But don't worry – I'll go easy on you for your precious Sasuke's sake. After all, he so desperately pines after you nowadays. I'd almost say he was ready to begin a new training regimen for it!"

"You leave Sasuke-kun out of this!" she yelled angrily, and began punching the ground, breaking up the arena.

"Now we're talking!" I grinned. "Let's get you a friend who can't get hit by ground moves, shall we?"

I weaved the hand signs, and prepared to summon. Sakura mirrored me.

"Kuchiyose!" we yelled in unison, and I yelled out "Phantasm!"

_**Rrrriaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh!**_Oh, Phantasm recognized her, but it was just too bad. Sakura's summoning turned out to be a giant slug. Eyew, talk about disgusting.

"Phantasm, Taunt, Leer, and Shadow Claw!" I yelled, and we dodged to avoid the Slug's slime. Sakura went to punch him, but flinched when he began transforming into a perfect replica of Orochimaru. He glared at her, scaring her once more and used shadow claw, producing Kunai to represent his claws.

I began weaving and circling the slug, trying to figure out how to get rid of it. It would have been a poison type, but I didn't have any Psychic type moves available! I sighed in exasperation, and then recalled something Orochimaru had said: If you're ever fighting Tsunade or one of her apprentices, avoid their attacks. If they summon, you summon. If you're outmatched when it comes to summoning, take down first one, then the other.

"Change of plans – Flame Charge in my direction!" I yelled, and he obeyed, surrounding himself in fire and racing towards the slug. I avoided him, and let him fight the slug while I fought the pinkette. I weaved hand signs, eager to get going, and then froze as I saw her begin sobbing.

"If I withdraw, will you send Sasuke-kun back?" She whispered as I froze my fist next to her face.

"He won't be coming back until every bone in his body has been broken at least once," I told her, and it was the truth. At the rate he was going, all of his bones will have been broken before he's done with training. "That's not my decision anyways – it's the men's."

"Kill me," she whispered, and I smiled softly.

"Nah," I said. "However, I will be doing _this_!" I raised my kunai and put a shallow gash in her throat. She gasped, and began healing it immediately. I let her heal, and then grinned as I began opening more wounds along her body.

"Stop!" she screamed, and I headed behind her, pretending to be much slower than I really was. I kicked her back harshly, and held up her head by her hair, holding my knife to her throat.

"Do you really love Sasuke?" I asked, and she began sobbing. "I'll take that as a yes. Give me a fight worth enjoying and I'll talk to him about coming back. Deal?"

"Deal," she said firmly, and I leapt away from her. I let her land a few blows to make it even, and I heard a sickening crunch as she broke my right leg.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing at the irony of it all. My left ankle and right wrist had been sprained numerous times over before I was a ninja. I'd broken my left arm when I was seven, and now my right leg had broken in the exact manner that my left arm had been. I'd made an "X" with my injuries, something I'd always found amusing whenever I thought of it happening for some strange reason.

"Now _this _is fun!" I grinned, and I backhanded her jaw. I limped over, and performed a few rapid hand signs that would allow me to partway heal myself. I'd been taking lessons from Kabuto on the side when he'd wanted to show me a few medical jutsu to help me during the Chunin exams.

She punched me in the gut, the last place I wanted to be kicked.

I curled up in a ball of pain and anger, my blood boiling. I began breathing heavily and trying to get up. It hurt like hell to have that sore spot punched, much more since it was by someone with inhuman strength. I let my mind wander back to the day I'd met Orochimaru put his foot there and I'd touched his ankle in pure ecstasy.

"You'll pay," I murmured, and she turned around in shock. I was breathing heavily, and my gut felt like it was on fire, but I knew that it was now or never.

I leapt sideways with my left leg, and began using doppelgangers to maneuver quicker. She was glaring at me as I was in the air. She didn't like it because it was out of bounds for her – her super-strength had no effect on open air. I grinned as some of the Jonin's brows furrowed in confusion at the mayhem we heard exploding nearby. I'd sent my doppelgangers around Konohagakure and set up smoke bombs in various locations. The smoke would be in the shape of flower petals to distract any and all ANBU members, Chunin, and Jonin, and when they would arrive to the bomb locations, all that would be left was a small pile of Sakura blossoms in the place of each bomb. I laughed aloud at the irony of it all. Orochimaru shook his head, chuckling in amusement at the prank I'd told him that was unfolding upon Konoha.

"What are you laughing about, you maniac?" Sakura yelled angrily.

"How much of a bitch you are – you pine after men who left the village, but ignore the men in front of you!" I retorted, still snickering and snorting.

"You're wrong! Sakura-san is an angel in human clothing! I will run five thousand laps around the training yard for her since I have lost my fight!" Lee yelled angrily, and Guy and Neji had to hold him back physically to keep him from intervening in the fight, like they had to do in the drunken state.

"Yeah, five hundred laps around the village to get her in your bed!" I retorted, and most of the ninja in the room gawked or made gagging noises at my joke, while Orochimaru sighed and my teammate busted up laughing. "What are you going to do to get her to marry you? Rape her?"

"You take that back!" Sakura yelled angrily.

An ANBU's chakra flared, and a fire consumed her body for a few minutes. Sakura kept racing and trying to punch my lights out, and I kept dodging agilely. Phantasm was getting tired, and I decided to help him out. I dodged in front of the slug, and Sakura hit it, sending it back to the world it had come from. Two-to-one, this I liked. I was tired, and my leg was throbbing and swollen, so I quickly grabbed my spare bandana to wrap it tightly around my leg to keep the swelling from getting worse.

"I'd love to see you make me," I grinned, and performed a multiple doppelganger technique. My doppelgangers and I dodged her attacks, and I quickly stepped into her line of fire purposefully, but not expecting what was about to happen.

She grabbed my arms and yanked backwards like Sasuke had Zaku in the forest of death, tearing my arms off. I let out a short yell of pain, and then began preparing for a new jutsu that Orochimaru had taught me. He'd taught me how to shed my skin, and Sakura's foot had broken the lower part of my back. I opened my mouth as I fell, and willed myself to become a snake to slither out of it. I was a giant snake that would have killed me if I'd been in my throat, but I was alive. It was the same jutsu Orochimaru used to shed his skin, but modified to fit my needs as someone whose cheeks and jaw couldn't extend like his.

"I'd like to see you fight now, bitch," Sakura growled, not realizing I was alive. "We'll see how Orochimaru likes you now that you don't have arms to grab his penis with!"

"Who says I grab his male parts?" I asked from behind her as I morphed back into a human, my body healed of all broken bones and injuries she'd dealt. It took a _lot _of chakra out of me, but it was worth it. "You know, you're probably more inappropriate with Sasuke in raping him than Jiraiya with his women that he doesn't even know, and that's saying something since he gets them to orgasm."

"You-You!" she yelled in rage, racing to kill me. I vanished in a puff of smoke, more and more shadow clones appearing. Doppelgangers were everywhere, each one throwing a sex-related taunt out at her. Phantasm vanished in a puff of smoke, exhausted. She exhausted herself destroying my clones, but found the arena deserted as I invisibly crept up behind her.

"Miss me?" I asked, showing myself as I stabbed her back, creating devil wings out of it. She flipped over in pain, and I thrust my kunai into each shoulder. "Pity that Sasuke can't be in this position, isn't it? Well, don't worry; I'm sure you'll be reunited with him one day once he dies! That is, of course, unless you withdraw from the match…"

"Never," she spat, and punched my face, which I neatly dodged at the last second. I leapt back and went back to my perch atop the hands around the arena.

"Not bad," I commended. "But let's see how you handle _this_!" I weaved hand signs, feeling nauseated, and leaned down to finish the one snake jutsu that I hadn't mastered yet. It used up a lot of chakra, and my previous meal, but this pinkette was worth it. I began vomiting, snakes coming out of my mouth in all directions, kunai coming out of their mouths.

"Snakes! Student of Orochimaru!" she screamed, and the Jonin rolled their eyes. I'd already said who I was a student of at the beginning, and she feels free to scream it out just now? Wow, how lame could she get? Some of the genin and Chunin still shifted their weight in discomfort.

"I already told you that, dumbass!" I yelled as I finished, and watched her begin dodging the snakes. She punched the ground, taking a few kunai and snake fangs to her left arm, and created a crater that they fell in and couldn't get out of.

"The final blow," she growled.

"Is mine," I breathed, and began preparing the newest form of the Rasengan – I'd created a fire version of it with inspiration and help from Sasuke. It collapsed, my chakra exhausted. "Shit," I hissed angrily, my chakra system still tired and my body out of practice.

"Having problems? Thinking about sex with Orochimaru again? Or is it that he likes to put his tongue in your vagina?" she yelled back, and it was now Kabuto and Ruka's turn to hold Orochimaru back forcibly.

"Relax, Orochimaru-sama," I heard Kabuto hiss under his breath. "She'll get severely injured for it, Sarah-sama can ensure."

"She'd better," Orochimaru growled, and nodded for me to take my weights off. I removed the weights from my legs, and my body felt lighter, and my chakra network less blocked. Orochimaru had insisted that the weights not only weigh me down physically, but with chakra as well. I saluted before dropping them and watching them create explosions the same size as Lee's weights.

I raced forward, copying Lee's move of the primary lotus, and kicked her numerous times with everything I had. I didn't have bandages to wrap her in like Lee, so I used Hidden Snake hands to get the job done for me. I spun in midair, snakes coming off of me at all directions onto the battlefield, and let go at the last minute as she went crashing down into the ground. I knelt down, exhausted, and Sakura got up. Snakes were pouring to me to protect me and to distract Sakura.

"Hey, Sensei? Rap?" I asked, and he grinned as I began dodging and counter attacking in time to the music.

"_Yeah my name is Link, man. I'm more well known than Lil' Wayne. Oh, you thought my name was Zelda?_" he began as I swung a kunai to my side.

"_THAT'S A FUCKING GIRLS' NAME!_" both boys yelled with him. (Whenever it's in all caps during songs, he and the backup singers are singing together)

"_I've saved the world like fifteen times and saved the princess from demise. And I do it all alone with no help and no advice!_" he bragged.

"_Hey, look, listen!_" my teammate said excitedly like Navi.

"_Hey, look, listen you fucking annoying fairy, I'd rather be forced to listen to constant Katy Perry! I think it's time I got some recognition, don't you think? Legend of Zelda?_" Sensei continued. "_SCREW THAT! Legend of Link!"_

"_Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K. Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say. Got bigger balls than even Evel Kneivel, and he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil!_" I sang, more than happy with his choice of songs. I'd been thinking Heroes come back, but okay.

"_I'll break all your pots, and I best not hear your bitchin'. I've got the Triforce of Courage, BITCH! SO YOU'D BETTER LISTEN! (That's right!) I'm called a bushwhacker and my bank account's maxed out. Got 999 Rupees and my leather wallet's packed now! Can't back down, can't slack now, the world needs me to attack now; yet, I'm forced to pay out the ass for these bombs in Castle Town. Just give me some heart containers and let me spit in my Ocarina so I can kick that dumbass Gannon all the way to Argentina!_" Sakura threw a wall of kunai at me and missed as she realized who my "Sensei" was that was up in the balcony, finally recognizing his chakra.

"_Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K. Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say. Got bigger balls than even Evel Kneivel, and he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil!_" I continued from atop the fingers of the statue, pretending like I'd been captured.

At that point, for some reason or another, Killer Bee joined in the rap, smiling at the beat. He and I had become friends during the exams while I was waiting, I'd explained the legend of Zelda, saying that there was a song about it that I thought he'd like. Out of boredom, I'd taught him the lyrics that Gannon sang.

"_Yo, you low-life elf, need a ride up to the North Pole? Santa's got a thing for elves – getting his marriage annulled. You really saving the princess will convince me you're straight? (Ha-hah!) The 'Uggs and Skirt' fad is so 2008!_" he rapped, getting used to it and stomping and waving his hand as he joined in.

"_Oh, Snap, it's Gannondorf, trying' to jack up my style! Batman's cape, Lincoln's beard - were you dressed by a child? You're a ginger with no soul and you look like a fucking troll! Isn't kidnapping helpless girls getting a little bit old?_" Orochimaru retorted immediately.

"_You think Zelda's stupid enough to get kidnapped so often? She runs off to my castle, into my room and begs to get locked in. yeah, she's sick of your little Deku nuts and your girly fairy face. L-I-N-K? More like L-I-N-Gay!_"

"_Man, you should have been aborted, just like the Jersey Shore! It's a damn lie you told about Zelda cause she loves my master sword! It's a shame your whole life's a waste trying to rule Hyrule cause today will be the day known as 'The Day you got schooled'!_"

"_Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K. Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say. Got bigger balls than even Evel Kneivel, and he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil!_" I finished from atop the fingers of the statue, and Sakura began gagging at Orochimaru's and my fun as I began moving my right leg and nodding.

"You sick bitch!" she yelled as she got a grip and began swaying. I smirked, throwing a poisoned kunai in her direction that lodged itself in her left shoulder.

I dodged behind her and pulled her arms out of their sockets. I knew it was only a matter of time before she collapsed and started choking. She stepped forward wearily a few times, more than just pissed off. I smirked, and the agonizing scream that followed my yanking the knife across her chest sent chills up my spine.

Orochimaru licked his lips slightly, a sign to end the battle before he got bloodthirsty.

I grinned, and lifted Sakura up. "You do realize that you'll die if you don't get the antidote to that poison into your system?" I asked, and the Jonin's eyes widened. "I laced it with poison and feces from cell prisoners in the Sound, not to mention the insides of failed experiments of Orochimaru-sama's."

"What?" she yelled in shock, and I nodded.

"Thing is, you'll need the antidote and a round or two of antibiotics before the day's out. The faster you quit, the more likely it is that I'll convince Sasuke to come back to Konoha," I told her, and she immediately raised her hand.

"I, Haruno Sakura, withdraw from this exam!" she blurted quickly, and I smirked and busted up laughing.

"Wow! For the record, he won't be coming back until someone drags his half-dead body back to Konoha inside a sealing scroll and without chakra!" I laughed, plopping onto the ground behind me on my butt in amusement.

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Sakura screamed in rage, pulling out a kunai and leaning forward to kill me.

Suddenly a tornado of fire surrounded her, forcing her to stay still so she wouldn't get burned. Orochimaru and the Snake ANBU landed in front of me, and the Konoha Jonin recognized her signature jutsu. They leapt down and intervened, ready to fight to the death to protect Sakura.

"You know, Sakura would part her legs for anyone who had the Sharingan, I'd bet," I smirked, and Orochimaru shot me a warning glare to shut up. "Just saying."

"Denina Sarah is the victor by Sakura's withdrawal!" Yugao announced, and the ANBU dropped her jutsu as she and Orochimaru led me back upstairs. I smirked and laughed as Sakura was led away by the medics, screaming, kicking and fighting the entire way until someone injected some morphine into her.

"Final challengers please step forward," she said, and Killer Bee grinned as his final student stepped forward to face off with one of the mist ninja.

"I advise you to withdraw now," our spy said warningly, and the mist ninja grinned. "Or I'll be forced to kill you."

"No way," he smirked. "It'll be you who's dead."

"Begin!" Yugao yelled, jumping back.

"Ninja art: Thousand Needles of Death!" our spy said as he threw an umbrella filled with needles inside above him. The umbrella shot the needles out and they came at the Kirigakure genin from all directions.

"Nice try!" the genin said as he whipped a shield of ice around himself. Orochimaru flinched, and licked his lips ever so slightly.

"Found one you like?" I whispered, and he nodded. I put my arms on the railing and glared at the spy to tell him to withdraw. He looked at me, and narrowed his eyes to let me know he'd understood.

"Combine her with the Sharingan and you'd have an elite ninja," my teammate said. I glared at him angrily over my shoulder, and he shut his yap.

"We'll see who's elite ninja material!" the Kirigakure ninja said as he performed water whips towards our spy. He'd wrapped one around our spy's throat and mouth, then his nose. He began wrapping him in the water, and I flinched. "If you don't withdraw, I'll crush your bones one by one!"

"Never!" the spy yelled, and the ninja made a notion like Gaara's, and the water crushed the boy's left arm and leg while leaving his face. "I withdraw! I withdraw!"

"What I thought," the Kirigakure ninja smirked. This kid was one who I wanted on my team next year, which was for sure.

"Thus concludes our preliminary rounds. Will the winners please come forward?" Tsunade asked, and we all complied. I may have been the only Otonin, but they all avoided me like I was insane. Guess that's what I get for acting like a crazy monkey on crack in the middle of a fight.

"Draw a number – only one – and we will determine the order of your fights in the final rounds," Yugao announced, and I grinned. We all looked at our numbers, and stared at my luck – seven. "They're all yours, Lady Hokage."

"Wait, their new Hokage's a _girl_?" my teammate asked incredulously.

"Shut your yap, Otomaru," I yelled up to him. "I'm trying to listen to the Hokage!"

"Thank you, Sarah," Tsunade said stiffly, her brow furrowed. "The final exams won't take place now. Rather, they'll be in a month so you kids can rest, recover, relax, train – do whatever you little squirts want within the legal limits. We call this the requisite preparation period. This allows us to contact the shinobi leaders of the various nations and for you to train some more."

"So you're saying we need to prepare to understand ourselves and our enemies," I said firmly, cutting to the chase, recalling what the old man had said after the preliminaries. I'd grinned, knowing that Orochimaru would be quite happy that I put summoning tags on the inside of all of my Naruto Volumes that I'd bought. He'd put tags inside of Volumes I'd needed, and they arrived at our home, but were never paid for with money. It was my Naruto Volumes that I got my knowledge from, Orochimaru knew, and he'd kept a close eye on them once he saw Sasuke eyeing them.

"Essentially, yes," Tsunade nodded. "I can see why you've become top kunoichi in your year – you're as sharp as a tack, and your fighting style is as well. Unorthodox, but well played. Not everyone can defeat my apprentice."

"One Sannin apprentice could easily outmatch another in the various tests, but never one single students at all of the tests," I chirped, happy that Tsunade was complimenting me, but also feeling crestfallen.

I'd really wanted her praise from Orochimaru, but he'd only praised me for my jutsu abilities and hormone-based activities. He hadn't even complimented me on childbirth, and that had almost killed me! I sighed, knowing that if I was ever going to get Orochimaru's praise, it would be in a day and age where I, too, was immortal, and never once caring about my birth clan. I felt his chakra in the room, and it wasn't happy at all. _Point proved right there,_ I grumbled mentally. _All he cares about is the exams being over so he can get me back in bed with him. I love him, but he's so cruel sometimes…Although, his extremely rare affectionate public displays are almost worth it…_

"Heh, if you'll rejoin us, Sarah," Tsunade said loudly, and I looked up at her with my eyes, my head still down. "Good enough. We're giving you this one month to rest and recover, as well as to train. Before now, you were fighting an unknown enemy, but now you know what the others can do. In fact, some of you may have even flaunted everything in front of your opponents. Your fights will be in one month's time. Well then, good work, and good luck everyone! You're dismissed until one month's time is up!"

"Hokage-sama!" I said, approaching her.

"No, Sarah, I'm not training you," she snapped before walking away.

"I was going to ask where the best place to be alone was," I said quietly. "To meditate. But seeing as you don't even trust me anymore…" _Orochimaru may not be allowed to attack Konohagakure, but _I_ can! _I thought bitterly. No wonder he hated it – they were so cold to those who were outsiders. This entire world was cold, I was beginning to regret coming here. The one group of people that I wanted to notice, trust, and praise me never did.

"Uchiha compound," she replied, and I stared after her.

"Thanks," I grinned, ready to put my plan into action. I raced off, knowing that Sasuke would be hiding there if he'd come. But thankfully, he hadn't, so I wasn't in any danger or trouble. I walked in, and stared at what was before me. Twelve ANBU black ops were waiting for me, glaring at me.

"Who are you? And what are you doing in the Uchiha compound?" one of them spat angrily.

"Leaf's tribute to Sound in exchange for peace. If you idiots don't mind, I'd like to be meditating. I need to relax," I retorted, and sat down on the floor to do so.

"Get out," one of the males spat. "You're not welcome here. You're an otonin, you have no right to be in Konohagakure!"

"I'm in the Chunin exams, so suck it up you oversized crybaby," I snapped. "I swear, you're all the same."

"You little!" one of the ANBU spat, but the Snake ANBU was hot on my heels.

"At ease, soldiers," she snapped, and they immediately went out of their military salute. "Leave her be – I'm keeping an eye on this one, myself."

"Lady Snake, your injuries," one of them said, but she cut them off.

"Are years old! Now get out before I make you sops clean up the dead bodies in the forest of death!" she yelled, and they fled.

"What do you want?" I asked, and she sat down.

"To talk," she said simply, handing me a manila envelope.

Ninja Profile of the Newcomer:

Name: Ruka – Commander of the KMP Age: 30 Rank: ANBU Jonin Animal: Snake Element: Wind & Fire – Poison Her team of permagenin – brutally murdered – she lived – nobody knows how or why but every nerve in her body was severed – everything touching or chakra hurts her – Someone gently taps her on the shoulder Long brown hair – 1st hokage's color

Eventually goes rogue because of evidence destruction from her students' murder, and isn't sure of Konoha anymore – runs to Sound and becomes surrogate for Sarah. Favorite Jutsu – Fire Style: Flame Vortex – uses wind to swirl the flames into a tornado & can't be put out by water, but ice would work

1st non-Uchiha KMP that turned the KMP into something scary

Song that Sarah & Orochimaru rapped is SMOSH's Zelda Rap. Look it up on youtube, I don't own it in any way, shape or form.


	18. R&R and Play

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"What is this, some sort of new jutsu?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"No – it's a file on a crime that was never solved. My name is Ruka, head of the Konoha Military Police, and … I need your help to solve it, and…" she cut off wary. I noticed that her hair color was the same as the first Hokage's. "Will you listen to me? Will you hear my story?"

"I don't see why not," I said blandly.

"I became the first non-Uchiha leader of the Konoha Military Police – or ANBU as some people call it, KMP for others. My ANBU animal is a snake, since I can be as cunning and traitorous as one when I need to be. I'm a Jonin – I've been an ANBU ever since I was a small child, I was raised ANBU – but I began teaching a team of Genin since the Third Lord thought it would be good for me. When we were out on an assignment, for some strange reason, we were attacked by a ninja – a _Konoha _ninja. I don't remember the jutsu he used, but the next thing I know, I'm lying on my back and everything hurts like I've been exploding a million times over and my three Permagenin – permanent genin – were all dead from the jutsu. They'd been behind me and took the blunt force of the jutsu, and I, their leader, the one who was supposed to be protecting them, survived. Their insides were everywhere, and their hearts were still beating, the poor angels. The ninja picked up their hearts, holding each one in his hand before biting down and letting the children die. But not before he raped them. My precious children, the only family I'd ever had – I was forced to watch in pain as they writhed and screamed in agony at that man's disgusting – disgusting _thing_!

"It wasn't until years later that I realized that that ninja had been assigned to kill them, and fatally injure me. But by then, it was too late – every nerve in my body had been severed, and everything that touched me or was chakra related hurt me. If someone taps me gently on the shoulder with one finger, it would feel to me like one of Sakura's strongest karate chops to you. I began looking into my students' murder, desperate for information. I had gotten so close – _so close _– before it was all destroyed. I walked into my office one day to find it on fire, starting with the files on my students' deaths. I was in the hospital for months after that, just trying to calm down and remember all of the evidence. I'd narrowed it down to a list of suspects, but they slipped through my grasp.

"So, I went AWOL. I left Konoha for first a week, then a month. I needed to get out – but I didn't want to back. Not with my students' killer there. So I forced a deal on myself: I'd go back to Konoha, but wouldn't stop being a ninja until my students' murderer was found and killed. However, in order for me to do that, I need your help," she said, looking at me.

"You want me to heal your nerves," I said quietly, and she nodded.

"Allow me," Kabuto said walking in with Akuma. "Your son, Sarah-sama."

"Thank you, Kabuto. Ruka-san, this is Kabuto. I'm sure you've heard of him," I said pointedly as I took my son into my arms.

"Orochimaru's right hand man," she nodded. "How interesting that he's been resorted to – babysitting…it's _his _isn't it? The child is Orochimaru's."

"Yes, Akuma-san is Orochimaru-sama's offspring," Kabuto verified. "I'm going to need to lift up your shirt to get a better view of your back so I can assess the damage. Would you…?"

"Fine," she grumbled, lying on the floor. He gently lifted her up, touching her back ever so slightly as she winced in pain.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I see – I've seen this before. It's a result of taking partial force of a powerful jutsu. I've only seen this once before, but you're very lucky. I know how to heal you. It will hurt, but I can heal you."

"How much money do you want from me?" she asked, and Kabuto chuckled.

"No money – just information. I'm researching things, you see, and…well…there's a few jutsu that you know that I'm intrigued with," Kabuto said slowly.

"Forget it," Ruka said.

"Then perhaps a different deal? If I completely heal you of this, will you at least consider one of a few options?" he asked, and she glowered at him.

"That depends on the options," she retorted.

"I can easily replace your reproductive system with a fully functional – and non-painful one – without the slightest problem. But, there's a catch – there's four options I want you to consider if I completely heal you. One is to become a Sound military leader, in the same position that you have in Konoha. Your second option is to let Sound spies come and go as they please for jutsu research. You don't have to extend that to human and ability research as well. The third option is that you can become a surrogate mother or nanny for Sarah-sama and Orochimaru-sama's children since she insists upon remaining a ninja, even though her children are very obviously too young to walk. The Fourth is that you become my bride," he explained.

"And I choose after you heal me?" Ruka asked, and Kabuto scoffed.

"No, before. Although, I warn you – I can heal a part of you here and now for a small price," he coaxed. Ruka nodded, and Kabuto gently turned her over on her back. "Lie still – this will hurt."

I watched Kabuto stick his hand inside her mouth, moving his fingers around slowly until she bit down in pain. Wanting peace and quiet, I left. I headed over into a different section, and found myself surrounded by Hyuga clan members.

"What did you do to Hanabi?" they growled, and I stared at them.

"You do realize that if you touch me, Orochimaru will have full rights to kill you all and your clan for violating the treaty that he and the Hokage made? I go to the Sound as tribute, and they stay out of Konoha unless they're in the Chunin exams. That's the only reason I'm here," I told them.

"Then what's with the kid?" one of them asked, and I sent out a powerful genjutsu, showing Orochimaru and I together, with Akuma in his arms and my own on my stomach as though I were pregnant once more.

"N-No way! You're – Denina Sarah and Akuma!" they cried in fear, running for their lives.

"Took you idiots long enough," I yelled out, and looked down at Akuma, who was staring in the direction the Hyuga members had fled in. "When are they going to learn, Akuma-kun?"

"You're wanting," Orochimaru murmured into my ear. "It's been more than a month, pet. Where's Kabuto run off to?"

"To heal an ANBU in exchange for some…favors," I replied warily, walking off.

"Don't you _ever _turn your back on me," Orochimaru growled, the Kusanagi at my throat. "Or you will regret it for months to come."

"The only thing I regret is coming to live with you!" I snapped, and I immediately found him backhanding my face harshly, and I was forced to curl up in a ball to protect Akuma.

"Don't you _ever _disrespect me again," Orochimaru hissed into my ear. "Or you'll regret it so dearly you'll be begging for mercy and death."

I bit back another retort, wanting away from him, and he dragged me off into our holding area for the ninja who were in town for the Chunin Exams. Hesitantly, I created a Sound bunshin, and slipped off invisibly towards the Forest of Death. I knew I'd just left there, but being in there was much better than being with an angry Orochimaru. The forest of death looked like a walk in the park in comparison to that. When I reached about six kilometers in, I sat down to nurse Akuma. I was tired, and quickly fell asleep.

I awoke to Kabuto shaking my shoulder gently.

"K-Kabuto?" I murmured, my glasses askew. "Where's Orochimaru?"

"Frantically and angrily looking for you," he said shuddering. "You scared the daylights out of him with that Otobunshin. Well done, we didn't even teach it to you yet."

"I can do almost any elemental bunshin if I wanted to," I told him. "I might not be very good at it, but I can do it. I – I wanted to get Akuma and me away from him. I could tell by the way he was dragging me back – he was going to – going to-!"

"Rape you? Yeah, he was. He needed to though to vent," Kabuto said looking me in the eyes. "If you'd asked me to I could have drugged you up so you wouldn't feel it, though. But why Akuma-sama?"

"He-he hit me," I sobbed. "Orochimaru hit me! He threatened me twice! He threatened me not to turn my back on him, and I retorted without thinking, and he hit me for it! Then he said that if I ever disrespected him like that again he'd make me beg for mercy and death!"

"Shh, it's alright, Sarah-sama. He just needs to calm down. He's upset about all the crap Sakura dished out towards you and about him. He managed to get into her house and ram an extremely large sake bottle up her vagina in punishment, with her chakra completely sealed off using spell tags," Kabuto chuckled. "Oh, you should have seen the look on his face when he threw those insults back in her face. She would have been screaming her lungs out if he hadn't threatened her to keep quiet. Truth be told, he was extremely angry. He blamed her for you being in a bad mood. I saw the skin shedding during the preliminaries. Your performance of the jutsu was perfect."

"You don't know what it's like, Kabuto! I do everything for him, to please him, to impress him, to placate him! He never once praises me unless it's on sexual topics, he doesn't tell me what I'm doing wrong with jutsu so I can fix it, he doesn't even help me with my chakra control, genjutsu or taijutsu! All he cares about is getting his kids out of me," I sobbed on the medic's shoulder. "He spends more time in the labs with you than he does with me!"

"Sarah-sama…" Kabuto said gently. "You misunderstand. He holds his praise back in front of you for a reason. He knows that that is the drive that keeps you learning more jutsu and to improve upon your jutsu, so he holds his praise back to help you get better. He doesn't help you with chakra control because he knows you can handle it eventually as long as you keep trying your hardest. He doesn't help you with genjutsu and taijutsu because he rarely uses them himself. He doesn't tell you what you're doing wrong with jutsus because that is part of a ninja's task is to find out what they're doing wrong and fix it themselves."

"So – he's being cruel…because he loves me?" I sniffled.

"That's right. And just between you and me – whenever we're in the lab, it's hard to get him to be quiet and stop talking about you whenever he's not talking about the experiment," Kabuto said hugging me gently. "Although, I agree with you – some praise is deserved, no matter how small the accomplishments. You've been learning so many new jutsu – you're putting Orochimaru-sama's learning rate to shame when he was your age, did you know?"

"No," I said shocked. I was learning faster at age nineteen than Orochimaru had been back then? Wow, I must have been doing something completely different.

"I'm sure this will all blow over once you show back up," Kabuto said gently.

"No! I'm not going back!" I said defiantly. "I can't put Akuma through that pain while he's growing up…"

"Relax, Akuma-san will begin chakra manipulation at an extremely young age, probably three or four, and genjutsu and ninjutsu at four to six years old," Kabuto soothed.

"I – no. I can't do this," I sobbed, lowering myself back to the ground.

"Perhaps a night where you were in charge for once would be a change of pace that you need," Kabuto suggested, and I stared at him. "I could easily tell Orochimaru-sama that you're suffering withdrawals and he needs to wait on your every need, hand and foot."

"Just what the doctor ordered," I joked weakly.

"That's it," Kabuto chuckled, giving my shoulders a light squeeze. "Everything will be just fine, you'll see."

"I hope so," I murmured. Kabuto left then, and I was once again left semi-alone.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Kurenai asked gently, and I clammed up. I didn't know or care how much she'd heard. "You're feeling an awful lot like Hinata – I can see it in your eyes."

"It's not fair," I whined. "Everyone else get praise from their Sensei – why can't I? Why am I so different? I get praise from everyone _except _Sensei!"

"I'm sure he's just trying to make you feel like you need to improve a little, although you're already at Jonin level from what I've seen. No normal ninja could have performed a healing jutsu that you used when you turned yourself into a snake and healed yourself," she assured me.

"Case in point," I screamed, almost tempted to throw Akuma down angrily. "You're all the same! Power this and power that – it's like I never even left my own world!"

Kurenai gave me a pained look before leaving. "You're wrong, Sarah-chan," she murmured as she left.

I cried myself to sleep once more, and woke up in a bed, Akuma in a bassinet, and Orochimaru on top of me.

"What now? Come to torture me and make me regret that disrespect?" I said sourly.

"No – I came to apologize," he murmured, and I stared at Akuma, not wanting to believe it. "Kabuto said that you were upset and not healthy. Physically healthy, yes, but mentally and emotionally – no. but, I regret to say that my own actions have had a hand in that."

"Damn right you did," I growled, and half expected him to kill me for it.

"Sarah," he said trying to mask the anger in his voice. "I know you're upset with my behavior, but I do it for your own good."

"My own good? My own good? How can you be acting for my own good? I train my ass off from dawn until dusk, and never once have I heard you compliment me on my genjutsu or taijutsu improvement. Never once have I heard you say 'Well done for practicing and mastering this many jutsu in this amount of time'. Never once have I heard you compliment me for my efforts, or even take a break unless I was pregnant!" I yelled at him, my anger flowing out at him.

"Enough," he hissed, squeezing me tightly. "Enough. I realize now that I've been hindering your progress more than helping it as of late. Sarah, nothing can change the fact that I'm proud of how hard you work. You work harder than Naruto-kun chasing Sasuke-kun, or Sakura for Tsunade, or even the green-clad…thing…for Might Guy. You work harder than all of them combined, and I'm glad that you do. It makes me happy when you do, to watch you train, to see how much you've grown. I don't express it because…I can't. I can't express the feelings that I have inside when I watch you fight and train. Sarah, I know you're angry, but…for the next week, from dusk until dawn, you're in charge. You'll lead in the sex, should that be what you wish. We'll … we could train some more… of course that wouldn't be very smart of me to say that right now, but I _will _try harder to compliment you as you train. We'll – we could go out to eat, go exploring, sight-seeing, see some monuments, visit my parents' graves; we could -!"

I silenced him by putting my lips over his. I felt him buck slightly – he was still completely hard.

"Shh," I whispered. "Just…don't let me go… Don't – you know what, screw our location. Take me. Now."

"What?" he asked, and I grinned.

"With your tongue," I finished my sentence, and he stared at me.

"You want my tongue…" he questioned, looking where he was implying, and I nodded. "Oh, good snakes. Kabuto what have you done? That boy will be the death of me, I swear he will."

When I awoke, Kabuto was standing over me, his eyes alight with worry. I pushed it away, wanting to go back to sleep, and I did. I could hear their conversation in the background. I'd apparently gotten three more orgasms before Orochimaru finally caved in. he'd redressed me sloppily and dressed himself and carried me back as he stumbled through the streets. Kabuto gasped as he looked at the remains of the broken condom.

"Your condoms are shit," Orochimaru retorted. "It broke long before we were done."

"I'm sorry, sir – I'll try to make a stronger one that will hold for about twenty orgasms or so," Kabuto said sheepishly. "Ruka-san – an ANBU that desperately wanted to be healed from her injuries – she, well… asked to come to sound and create an ANBU sort of faction. Excluding your activities, of course."

"Tell her yes," Orochimaru panted. "I hope this proves to Sarah how much I love her – I wouldn't have let her lead if I didn't."

"You – you let her lead?" Kabuto asked, so shocked that he'd dropped the tray he had unloaded. "Did I honestly just hear you say that you let her lead? During the sex?"

"Yes, I let her lead. She was damn good at it, too," he grinned. "Knew _exactly _what she was doing, and when to do it to bring the most pleasure. I might even venture to say that she'd read porn in her time in the other world, for all of the knowledge she had. Then again, she had to pass a sex education course…"

"Sex education class?" Kabuto asked, and his glasses almost slipped off his face. "As in, a class purely devoted to sexual activity and issues? Wow, now I know I've heard it all. What age group is this at?"

"Twelve to thirteen," Orochimaru scowled. "Far too early for my taste. Let them find out on their own once they're married, I say. Speaking of which, is there any bruising?"

"N-No, sir," Kabuto said warily. "Not aside from her and your hips. Why?"

"She bit me," he grinned.

"Hickie?" Kabuto asked incredulously.

"Down there," Orochimaru spelled out, and Kabuto's brain shut down.

"She bit…your penis?" Kabuto verified, and Orochimaru glared at him. "Did you do anything to arouse her to do this?"

"That's what I just said, you twit," Orochimaru snapped. "Pushed my tongue to deep into her…you know."

"Oh my," Kabuto said shocked, obviously not used to getting details on sex life from anyone, much less Orochimaru. "Was she unhappy last night?"

"No. Not even when I showed it to her," Orochimaru said happily. "I'm glad you gave that order – it helped us blow this entire thing over our heads and under the rugs. I thought for sure she was going to scream when she saw it, but somehow – I think she knew what it was that I needed for her reaction to be."

"I'm happy for you, sir," Kabuto stammered. "Um… if I may…may I have Ruka to be my wife, sir?"

"What?" Orochimaru said, instantly alert. "The one whose nervous system is a complete mess? Absolutely not!"

"Sir, I've halfway healed her! It took all night, but she's halfway healed!" Kabuto said excitedly. "I've made it to where it hurts half as much now for her. And besides that, once a week is over, I can finish and she'll be cured! Well, except for the two days a year that her nervous system will create phantom pains, but otherwise she'll be cured!"

"Kabuto," Orochimaru hissed, his breathing becoming ragged. "She's ten years older than you. Forget it."

"You're thirty-two years older than Sarah-sama," Kabuto argued.

"She's a female," Orochimaru retorted. "And the females are supposed to be younger than the males, not the other way around!"

"Orochi," I sighed, in pure ecstasy, then coughed.

"Oh dear," Kabuto murmured. "You really got her going. She's still secreting vaginal fluid, and your semen inside of it. Good gravy."

"She'll get over it," he smiled. "She always does when given sex."

"On her terms," Kabuto muttered, and Orochimaru glared.

"Sarah, Orochimaru – oh, Kami!" Tsunade yelled in shock as she walked in. "How long did you two have sex?"

"That's none of your damn business," Orochimaru smirked, blushing slightly as he held the blankets over his chest. Shizune almost followed until Kabuto walked out and pushed her way while shutting the door behind him.

"Orochimaru," Tsunade breathed. "I can tell by the smell, and – is that condom _broken_?"

"Yes," Orochimaru grinned, then groaned in pain.

"You had so much sex that you _broke_ a condom?" she asked in disbelief. "And judging by her heartbeat, you almost killed her! How long did you two do it? How many orgasms did she have?"

"I don't know," Orochimaru shrugged. "Twenty for her, four for me, I think."

"What in heaven's name possessed you to take her for that long?" Tsunade scolded.

"She did," Orochimaru murmured sheepishly. "She was upset, and, well, wouldn't take no for an answer. Once I got started, she wouldn't let me stop without throwing a fit. That, and Kabuto said it would be therapeutic for her."

"You could have _killed _her!" Tsunade yelled, and I coughed a few times, waking up groggily, reaching clumsily for a cup. "Easy, Sarah," Tsunade said gently, helping my fingers curl around the cup. "Nice and slowly, kid. Nice and slowly."

"Nah, I like fast the way Orochi does it," I said groggily, not getting what she was saying.

"Now look what you've done," Tsunade snapped at him, and he plopped back onto the bed to face the opposite wall. "You've gone and made her insane!"

"Better intoxicated from hormones than causing havoc," Orochimaru retorted, and Tsunade gaped. "She was plotting massive riots and hysteria. Caused by leaf ninja fighting amongst themselves."

"Well then," Tsunade said in a much quieter tone as I lay back down. "Perhaps you could explain this bedpan to me?"

"Excess body fluids," Orochimaru explained. "Her body's been doing that since I lay her down on the bed."

"I see. Give me that bottle," she ordered, and he handed her one. "Hold her up – yeah, like that."

I felt quite a bit of fluid drain out of me, and I was extremely tempted to piss on her. She removed the cold vial, then put another up to me. She removed it once more, and I couldn't hold it in any longer – I pissed.

"Augh!" she yelled in disgust. "That is so – rrrgh! That is the last time I'm helping you in situations like this!"

"She can't control it," Orochimaru chuckled. "She's like a two year old in a teen's body. It's kind of endearing in a way that only she can do."

"Did I just hear the word 'endearing' come out of your mouth?" Tsunade asked, and Orochimaru muttered something.

"I'm not ill you know," he said loudly, then fell off the bed with a large thud right as Shikamaru and Sakura walked in.

"I thought I told you two to wait outside," Tsunade growled angrily.

"Sounded like a fight," Shikamaru said.

"Nice boxers, Orochimaru," Sakura grinned. "Did you-?"

"Sakura, if you even think about asking anything sex related, treaty or not, I will kill you where you stand!" Orochimaru growled leaping up. "I'm no fool – my Jonin reported every last thing that was done yesterday in that arena, and you are already skating on extremely thin ice. _Don't _make me angrier at you than I already am!"

"Orochimaru, if you're going to get pissed off, at least have the decency to not take it out on your poor wife," Tsunade said exasperated, practically throwing me back on the bed. That woke me up in a jiff.

"Snakes galore!" I yelled suddenly, still not quite mentally awake yet. "What? Where? When'd we get home? Did I miss the exams?"

"No, Sarah," Tsunade growled. "You're not at home, you're in the Uchiha condo."

"Ha-ha, Condom!" I laughed, and Orochimaru shook his head.

"See what I put up with?" he asked Tsunade. "Do you blame me for entering her into the exams and avoiding her?"

"No," Kabuto said as he and Kimimaro walked in, both of whom were used to me being loopy and high off myself and hormones without the slightest encouragement. "How much longer do you think she'll be like this?"

"Let the estrogen high run its course," Tsunade said firmly. "One to three days, a week tops. And Sexual activity is strictly prohibited until she finishes the second round! I don't care how desperate she gets – don't give it to her!"

"Don't have to tell me twice," Orochimaru grinned. "That's one medic's orders that I'm more than happy to comply with!"

"Pretty colors," I said staring at the ceiling. "Lookie, nakie Orochi!" I said pointing up, and Tsunade looked up at where I was pointing.

"All I see is a bunch of dots," Sakura and Kabuto said in unison.

"Has she finally lost it, Kabuto-Sensei?" Kimimaro asked, and Kabuto shrugged.

"She's probably hallucinating from dehydration," Tsunade diagnosed. "She'll be fine in a while."

"Snakie perfect," I said trying to get out from under the blankets.

"You _did _cover her, right?" Tsunade asked, and Orochimaru flushed beet red.

"What kind of fool do you take me for? Of course I covered her with more than that blanket!" he snapped, his eyebrows twitching.

"Good," Tsunade said before releasing me to crawl over to her teammate.

"Dang," Shikamaru grumbled as he saw me clumsily stumble across the bed. "What the hell-?"

"Hormone overload," Kabuto said simply, picking up Akuma who had begun crying. "And for the record, this is their child – no touching. Off limits to everyone but the four Sound ninja in this room. Well, and a fifth one."

"Wow, a prince only being handled by five people including his parents," Shikamaru said with his eyebrows raised. "Damn."

"He's spoiled, we know," Orochimaru grinned as I began climbing on his back. "And he's not the only one, either, is he, pet?"

"Nope-a-doodle-poddle-puddle-poodle-ding-dong!" I chirped. "Pikashichunari is turdy…and smokie is an ugly bear! And scarecrow is brainless and caterpillars make creepy eyebrows!"

"Oh," Orochimaru sighed fearfully, wondering how someone like me could creep him out when he was supposed to be the one doing the creeping. "What the hell have I created?"

"An idiot," Sakura retorted, and Orochimaru and I sent out a glaring genjutsu in unison that envisioned her in a massive amounts of pain, and I was imagining her writhing under the cruciatus curse from Harry Potter.

"Now, now, you two, let's not get hasty," Tsunade warned.

"Hasty, pasty, lacy, or nasty? Which one did she say?" I asked Orochimaru, who contented himself with chewing on his tongue and lips.

"Hasty! Hurried!" Sakura spelled out to me, and I stared at her.

"Secret for flower girl!" I yelled jumping off Orochimaru's back and walking over to her. I got close, leaned into her ear, and belched.

"That's it," Orochimaru snapped. "No more. Back to bed, now."

"No, no bedtime until she's tired," Tsunade argued. "It's better to let it run its course while she's awake. My advice is to get her to rest as part of her training or act like a hyper monkey on crack more so than normal. As long as her pranks are non-violent, I don't care! Just don't drag me or any other Konoha ninja into this!"

"You're telling me to terrorize Konoha?" Orochimaru asked excitedly. "Pranks and harmless humor or not, I'm in! All of you, out, now!"

"I didn't think that _you _of all people would fall in love, Orochimaru!" Sakura sneered, then screamed as snakes surrounded her.

"Orochimaru may not be allowed to kill you, but _I _can!" I growled angrily, blood lust permeating my very existence. "Make one wrong move, and you won't be seeing another Uchiha for as long as you live. On that note, you won't be seeing anything but blackness! Got it, slut?"

Sakura stayed still, shivering in fear, Shikamaru also gazing in fear towards me.

"Kukuku…an amusing performance, pet," Orochimaru chuckled before putting a shirt on. "The two of you aren't in the Chunin exams this year – you've failed," Orochimaru sneered to Sakura, "insulting me quite a bit while you were doing so. And you," he said looking at Shikamaru. "Have already become Chunin when you clearly withdrew last year. What _was _Sarutobi-Sensei thinking?"

"You know Asuma-Sensei?" Shikamaru asked, and Orochimaru burst out laughing.

"You've mistaken your teacher for mine! Hahahah, no boy! Your teacher is the son of mine!"

"Oh," Shikamaru said simply, and Ino walked in. "Ino, Sakura, let's give them some privacy. I know I'd want the same if I were changing clothes. Geez, girls are so troublesome."

"Shikamaru-kun, they only get worse!" Orochimaru called through the door, still bursting into chuckling fits. "If you don't believe me, look at your Hokage and Sarah and tell me otherwise!"

"What's fur training?" I asked, grinning wildly.

"Playing pranks on the village," Orochimaru chuckled darkly. "And I've got just the one, too!"

"What?" I asked, and he grinned widely, and I grinned alongside him as I finally understood.


	19. Pranks for Training

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"Sound Ninja are coming! Sound ninja are coming!"I yelled as I ran throughout the streets of Konoha, Orochimaru chasing after me like he was starting a war. He was lucky and was allowed to grin at the joke, whereas I wasn't. Tsunade wasn't at all happy either, but had put a 'Do not Disturb' sign on her door when we alerted her to the prank we were about to pull.

Civilians were ducking into houses left right and center, while every able bodied ninja became on high alert at the outskirts of Konoha to protect its borders and the academy students were once again hidden inside the Hokage Monument. Once I reached Anko's house, I began pounding on the door.

"Anko-san! Anko-san! Hurry – it's an emergency!" I yelled through the door, and Orochimaru grinned behind me, Kabuto appearing momentarily to hand Akuma over to us. "Hurry, it's about Akuma!"

"Wh-Sensei," she said stiffly. "I presume there's a reason you're here?"

"What's wrong with wanting to visit my old protégé?" he teased. "But, yes, there is something that's been bothering me for quite a while. You see, my medic is in need of an assistant to help him in his duties, and I was wondering if you would like to join him."

"Go to hell," she spat before slamming the door in our faces.

"Shall I turn her into a bat?" I grinned, and Orochimaru nodded. I summoned Lucifer, the now level sixty Gengar. "Lucifer, Hex on Anko – turn her into a bat, ok?"

_**Grrr,**_ he growled softly as he nodded.

"Let's go hunt down Jiraiya!" I grinned, but Orochimaru shook his head. "Why not?"

"Bad idea – Naruto-kun is with him, and we don't know how they'll react," he said simply, and I couldn't argue with that logic.

"Let's play one on Kakashi," I grinned, and he laughed openly in agreement.

"Quick, while he's busy," Sakura whispered to Ino behind us. I could still hear them, but not quite sure what they were talking about. We would find out later when we went back for lunch.

"I was thinking about Ichiraku's for lunch," Orochimaru said as we ran. "It's been years since I've eaten there."

"Kabuto, do you have Akuma?" I called out, and he walked in.

"No, ma'am. He stayed asleep, and I was helping Ruka-san since he did," he replied furrowing his brow. "Is something wrong?"

"He's gone," I whispered, and Orochimaru walked in. "Akuma's gone."

"What?" they gasped.

"I'll kill her," Orochimaru yelled as he raced out, Lucifer hot on his heels. Kabuto sat down next to me and began trying to comfort me.

"I'm sure they'll find him. We need to stay here just in case someone recognized him and brings him back," he assured. "Maybe we should watch Orochimaru-sama in the mirror – maybe that'll help."

"Show me Orochimaru," I told my mirror, and it immediately showed him racing through Konoha's streets, heading straight for the Hyuga compound.

"Ah, did you lose something?" Hinata asked hesitantly as she opened the door.

"My son," Orochimaru breathed.

"Just a second," she said quickly.

"Where?" Orochimaru asked quickly. "Oh, the Inuzuka clan compound?"

"Yes," Hinata said as she raced to find Kiba.

"What's wrong Hinata?" he asked.

"Kiba-kun, can you help us find his son?" she asked quickly.

"Sure," Kiba said without hesitation. "How old is he?"

"Seven months," Orochimaru replied. "My wife and I had gone out for training and when we got back he wasn't with our medical babysitter. Here – his blanket."

"You're Sound," Kiba said simply as Akamaru sniffed the blanket that Orochimaru had pulled out of his scroll pouch.

"Is something wrong with Sound?" he said, holding out his hand.

"Not really – just – one of our comrades left for Sound and never came back," he replied warily taking the sannin's handshake offer. He let go as Akamaru yipped and began wagging his tail. "Alright! Let's go!"

They raced off, and Orochimaru froze as they reached the Konoha hospital. He grits his teeth angrily as he saw Sakura dangling a shuriken on a string above our son. He motioned to the genin to stay there, and Hinata shook her head.

"N-Let me," she whispered, and walked out and over to Sakura. "S-Sakura-san! I-I-oh…whose is she?"

"He," Sakura growled. "And his mother will be dead before the end of the day if he isn't taken away from her. She's too weak to nurse him, and his father isn't from Konoha."

"Oh," Hinata whispered. "He's so cute. Can I hold him?"

"You'd be begging me to kill him if you knew who his father was," Sakura growled. "And no – I'm in charge of him."

"Hey, Sakura, Hinata!" Kiba said walking up towards the pinkette. "Nice kid, Sakura. Can I hold him?"

"For the last time, no! He's not even mine; I'm just keeping an eye on him!" Sakura snapped. "Damn."

"Do I need to get Hokage-sama over here for kidnapping or are you going to hand him over?" Kiba asked, and Sakura stared at him, eyes wide.

"Kidnapping? You wish! His mother's in the hospital," Sakura said blatantly lowering the shuriken lower towards Akuma's face. When he began crying loudly she yelled "Shut up, you piece of crap!"

"Sakura," Kakashi said walking up. "What are you doing?"

"N-nothing Sensei!" Sakura lied, dropping the chain. The shuriken would have hit Akuma's throat if Orochimaru hadn't sent a snake to catch it in its mouth.

"Give me back my son," Orochimaru growled angrily, his chakra radiating bloodlust as he appeared out of nowhere next to Sakura.

"Sakura, give Orochimaru his son," Kakashi warned gently, and Sakura handed Akuma over to Orochimaru. "Thank you. Good day, Orochimaru – if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a nice little chat with Sakura that I already gave Sasuke."

Orochimaru nodded thanks to Kakashi as the Jonin cornered the kunoichi to scold her. Sighing, he turned to face Hinata and Kiba, who were beginning to back off.

"Thank you for your help," Orochimaru said gently, positioning Akuma to where the child was leaned forwards against his shoulder. Akuma was gurgling, happy to be home, but didn't dare touch Orochimaru's earrings. "Looks like that little episode helped you learn not to touch daddy's earrings, didn't it, Akuma?"

"Ah-ee!" Akuma squealed, and Orochimaru smiled gently at his son's attempt at 'daddy'.

"So, Akuma's really your son? Through Sarah-san?" Kiba asked, Akamaru now whining in fear.

"I wouldn't sleep with a woman unless I truly loved her," Orochimaru retorted. "Besides that, we've got other things to do today with Akuma-kun. I think it's time we got you started on baby foods, you dirty rascal, and after that he'll be getting a bath."

"I don't see how he's dirty," Shino said walking up to them. "You two were late with training so Sensei wanted me to find you."

"Y-yeah," Hinata said shyly.

"Just because he's not dirty now doesn't mean he won't need one – I'll also need to wash anything off that Haruno brat put on him," Orochimaru growled angrily. "I'd best be getting back – Sarah's probably going insane with worry. Why don't the two of you come train with us for a while? It's the least we can do to repay our debts."

"Th-thank you," Hinata stuttered. "I-I'd like that. Could you help me with my Byakugan?"

"I can do more than that, Hinata. I can help you with Chakra control and – if you're angry at someone – how to use that rage to your advantage," Orochimaru chuckled. "Kiba-kun?"

"I'm in, but only to keep Hinata company," Kiba grumbled. "I don't want anything happening to her."

"Good. Aburame-kun, tell Kurenai that Kiba-kun and Hinata-chan are training with Sarah for today," Orochimaru waved behind him as he walked off. He stopped short when he got to our temporary front lawn.

"What's wrong?" Kiba asked, and Orochimaru smirked.

"You're going to want to stay back here for a bit," he chuckled, and I closed down the mirror's connection as I heard him. "Sarah!"

I raced out of bed as fast as I could, tripping over the blankets and managing to cocoon myself inside. I managed to writhe out of it, and charged past Kabuto. I ended up banging my foot under a door, and stared at Kabuto until he healed the blood blister under my toe. I winced as I put my foot back down before racing outside.

"My baby, oh my baby," I breathed with relief, pulling him into my arms. "Thank you."

"Our son will be just fine," Orochimaru soothed. "Lucky I found him when I did - your opponent from yesterday was dangling a shuriken towards his neck. Kakashi took her away to scold her, though I doubt she'll get punished for it."

"Oh, she'll be getting punished, all right," Tsunade said walking into the yard. "Shizune told me everything since she'd been keeping an eye on Sakura after her fight. I apologize for my apprentice's idiotic behavior over the last twenty-four hours, Orochimaru."

"I'm sure Sarah's done enough chaos to make up for it," Orochimaru smirked. "The only difference is that the way she does it is completely harmless – well, physically."

"I noticed," Tsunade grumbled. "Nice prank with the Hokage faces, by the way."

"Oh, snakes, what did you do?" Orochimaru said wheeling around to face me.

"You would be proud of her – go up on the roof and see for yourself," Tsunade said, and he obeyed after raising an eyebrow. "I'd be yelling at you if not for the Graffiti you put on my face, brat."

"Thanks," I grinned. "Hey, what's the deal with Sakura? Why does she hate me?"

"She's jealous," Tsunade grinned. "You're closer to Sasuke than she is. I kept trying to tell her that she should withdraw if she got in a fight with you, but she wouldn't listen. She said she owed it to Orochimaru since he took away the love of her life."

"We see how well that worked out," Kiba and I laughed. I looked at Orochimaru as he admired Lucifer and my handiwork. I'd painted all sorts of vulgar graffiti and monumental stuff from our world – like the Washington Monument or Mount Everest or Fuji – all over the Hokage faces. The only one I didn't deface with anything vulgar was Tsunade's, and even then it was only because it wasn't finished yet. The one thing I had written on her face was 'Overprotective'.

"Ah, I don't think it's fair," Hinata spoke up. "Sakura-san shouldn't punish Sarah and Orochimaru's children and Sarah for what Orochimaru did. If it were me, I would focus harder on getting Naruto-kun back, but Naruto-kun won't leave Konoha."

"Well said, Hinata," Tsunade said, while I stared at Hinata. "Orochimaru, about Sakura's behavior during the Chunin exams – what she'd said about Sarah was probably qualified since Sarah was talking dirt in the same way, but Sakura had zero right to drag you into it."

"You should teach her to watch her mouth about who she disrespects," Orochimaru warned as he hopped down. "The next time she lets her tongue fly like that I _will_ kill her, treaty or not. Why don't the two of you begin training with Sarah? Kabuto will check on Akuma-kun to ensure that he hasn't been poisoned."

"Right," I nodded, handing Akuma off to Kabuto with a glare at the latter. I motioned for Kiba and Hinata to join me. "Okay, so, you two are in the finals. Who else made it? I know there are me, you two, Neji, Kirari from the mist, and four others. Or are there five others?"

"Five. Ino, Choji, Shino, TenTen, and that kid from Clouds," Kiba explained, counting them on his fingers. "We're in for a long haul this exam time."

"No joke. Speaking of joke," I grinned. "Why not play one on Kakashi or Guy? We could die all of Guy's clothes pink and say that pink is the new green!"

"You're insane," Kiba sputtered.

"Okay, just a thought," I grinned. "I'm still gonna do it, though. Hm…how do I want to go about this? I know, I can get Kakashi to do it for a competition! Whichever one wears pink for more days in a row and for the longest amount of time both days is the winner! Of course, Kakashi may not even change his clothes if that's the case…"

"Can't hurt to try," Tayuya grinned, walking up behind me with Akuma. "Want me to do it for you?"

"No, I don't want pinecone head recognizing you," I laughed. "Although… Sakon! Ukon!"

"You called, Sarah-sama? Is something wrong?" they asked as they kneeled in front of me after dashing out.

"I need advice on how to train as a duo," I smirked, and they stared at me.

"With Orochimaru-sama? I thought you already trained as a duo?"

"Wake up and pay attention, Ukon! My apologies, Sarah-sama. My twin's an idiot," Sakon apologized. "I think the key to working in a duo is training together for a prolonged time. If I had to give another piece of advice, though, it would be to get a feel for your companion's strategies and attacks, and to learn to use it to your advantage. Does that help, milady?"

"Yes, it does, actually," I said with a nod. "Thank you. Jirobo! Kidomaru!"

"Hai, Sarah-sama," they said, bowing in a like manner that Sakon and Ukon had. "How may we help?"

"Kidomaru, I want you to help Hinata with her gentle fist technique, but don't maim her in any way. Jirobo, I want you to help me with the brute strength department. Kiba, can you and Akamaru…?" I piqued, turning around halfway to face him.

"Train separate? Sure," he nodded, and began weaving in and out of the houses in the alleyway, using trash cans and piles of garbage as target practice.

"Thanks," I said gently. "Okay, Kidomaru, Hinata, I'll be overseeing your training until Orochimaru gets back here. Jirobo, come at me!"

He analyzed where to come from, going off of previous training sessions. I began tapping my foot, and he sighed before racing forward to where we were in a fist lock. Picture Ino and Sakura's fight, and you'll get the gist of my training session. I pulled back, forgetting the key to my training methods, and performed doppelgangers galore. I toned it down from my normal, but I still had one hundred fifty out.

"Okay, fifty on ninjutsu, and the rest on taijutsu or chakra control!" I ordered, and they set to work, practicing jutsu or wrestling with one another. I turned back to find Jirobo gone. I looked around, and he grabbed me by the ankles.

"Had enough?" he growled, and I grinned, more than happy with this handicap.

"Jirobo," Orochimaru scolded, and we looked up at him, and Hinata and Kidomaru stopped their sparring to turn their heads. "Unhand her."

"He's helping me with taijutsu," I told the Sannin. "I'll need to be stronger if I'm ever up against that bitch Sakura again."

"And you told me you'd never cuss the week I brought you to Sound," he smirked. "That's beside the point, and there's something I need you to do for me, Sarah. A little…revenge…on a certain ninja that we both hate."

"Jiraiya?" Jirobo asked excitedly, and I writhed out of his grasp and bonked him on the head harshly.

"No," Orochimaru said simply. "Sarah knows who I'm talking about. Speaking of which, what are the layouts for the final exams? Do you know?"

"How should I know? I came straight to you once the preliminary rounds were done," I shrugged. "I do, however, know who you're talking about. Can I get going, now? I want to watch her screaming and writhing in pain!"

"You'll be killed if you kill her," Orochimaru chuckled, closing his eyes warmly, something that Kiba, Hinata, and the Sound Four shuddered at fearfully. I shuddered in delight at his prowess. "Kidding. You may go."

.


	20. Fighting Tests

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"Are you ready?" Orochimaru asked as he watched Tayuya spoon a bite of baby food into Akuma's mouth.

"It's too damn early for this!" I groaned loudly. It was seven in the morning – far too early to be awake. I churned the cereal in my bowl, having already yelled at Kabuto for putting milk in it. Hinata had stayed the night for some last minute training, and Kabuto suddenly handed the bowl off to her before getting me a new bowl.

"I'm sorry you're not a morning person," Kabuto said before finally getting his own breakfast.

"Kabuto, do us both a favor and watch over Akuma during the Chunin exams," Orochimaru said suddenly.

"Ah, sir, I wanted to watch the exams with you so I could watch Sarah-sama's progress!" Kabuto objected, and Orochimaru glared.

"No," Orochimaru snapped angrily.

"Ah, Orochimaru-sama, let us watch Akuma-sama!" Jirobo volunteered quickly. "Some of the Jonin will recognize us if we go to the exams and they might try to kill us. Besides, four of us protecting Akuma-sama will be much safer if someone tries to kidnap him again or worse! Or, better yet, let Akuma-sama come with you! Tayuya could act as his mother!"

"They already know Sarah-sama's his mother, you idiotic fatass," Tayuya yelled in protest.

"Perhaps," I supplied thoughtfully. "It could work under an impression of you being his nanny. I _did _tell some of the Jonin that we had a babysitter. Besides that, we could easily say that we acquired a second one after he was kidnapped by a ninja in the midst of traveling to the Chunin exams."

"That might just work," Orochimaru commended. "But that brings a problem – Jirobo already mentioned that the Jonin would recognize them. My point is, what are you going to do to remedy this fact? The exams are in a few hours, I hope you have a plan ready."

"I do," I grinned. I may have been lazy and tired still, but now that I was up, I was up. I'd been plotting my strategies for each enemy*.

I stood in the arena, and watched, looking around for the Kumogakure ninja.

"Stop fidgeting! Face forward, towards the guests," Genma scolded, and I glared at him with bloodlust. "Welcome to the Third and Final Task in the Chunin Exams!" he shouted suddenly before the crowd began applauding and I saw a small dot at the top of a roof in a watching location approach another. Orochimaru had arrived for my match.

"Take a look at the line-up, there have been a few changes made," Genma said, showing us the layout graph from the preliminaries.

I stared at the piece of paper in front of me:

Ino vs. Choji Neji vs. Kiba Shino vs. Kirari me vs. TenTen/Hinata (victor) Hinata vs. TenTen**

"Nice tournament matchups," I grinned – I was last, I had the advantage against everyone since I was the student of a Sannin. Orochimaru had given the Kirigakure boy a curse mark, and the genin had gone to Genma in order to withdraw, knowing what had happened to Sasuke had scared him. "When can we start?"

"Ino and Choji, stay here," Genma instructed. "The rest of you, head to the balcony in the waiting area."

"Joy," I muttered. "Hey, Ino-pig, you'd better not lose until I fight you. You're one of the few I want to fight."

"I'll be happy to give you a mind reeling issue," she grinned. Ah, if only she knew what I'd done to her old man!

I headed up to the balcony with the others. This was so boring! My match was one of the later ones, and aside from analyzing their jutsu (which would be a waste of time), there was nothing to do! I sighed, bored. I could tell the crowd was getting extremely excited, just waiting for a good fight. I would be sure to give them one to keep them on the edge of their seats – when the time came.

"Ready to go, Fatso?" Ino teased, and Choji performed his expansion jutsu. Idiot.

"Ninja art: mind transfer jutsu!" she yelled, and immediately collapsed.

"I, Akimichi Choji, withdraw from this exam," he said, raising his right hand.

"And our winner is Ino Yamanaka!" he announced, and Ino released her jutsu.

"Sorry, Choji! Better luck next time," she sneered. Some teammate she was, I scoffed.

"I suggest you forfeit," Neji said simply, and Kiba glared at him in response.

"I've been training with Otonin all month – no way I'm losing to you!" Kiba yelled out, and Akamaru barked in agreement.

"Fine," Neji said sternly, activating his Byakugan. "Feel free to stop the exam when you feel the need."

"Ninja art: All Fours Technique!" Kiba growled, and Neji performed a rotation to stop him.

"It's useless!" Neji yelled, pressing Kiba's tenketsu in his arms and legs. "If you can't send chakra to your arms and legs, you can't attack."

"Akamaru, go!" Kiba yelled, and Akamaru pissed on Neji and right in Neji's eyes. Ouch – that would hurt later.

"Aagh!" Neji said, grasping at his eyes in pain, while Akamaru bit him where it hurt. "OOWW!"

"Ease off, Kiba! Give him a chance to recover!" I yelled down, and he nodded. "I want to see some action, not some crying, Hyuga! Get up!"

"Easier said than done," Neji murmured, his eyes watering. Akamaru charged again, and Neji immediately performed the rotation once more, knocking the ninken off his feet. I sighed again – this battle wasn't going to take long at all, and I wanted action!

"Akamaru, come on!" Kiba yelled, and began trying to channel chakra.

"Give up already!" Neji warned, pushing his liver chakra tenketsu. "Rotation!"

"Uaah!" Kiba yelled, and Akamaru was about to race over when Neji performed a well maneuvered kick and sent him flying.

"Inuzuka is unable to continue. Hyuga Neji wins!" Genma announced, and I sighed in exasperation.

"My my, your ninja are quick to finish their fights, Tsunade," Orochimaru chuckled from behind the two kage's. The Mizukage was there as well, Orochimaru leaning up against the back wall behind them. All three leaders had two bodyguards – Tsunade had two Jonin, Orochimaru had Guren and Sakon & Ukon (who were posing as one person), and the Mizukage also had two Jonin. The two Kages were in the chairs, and Orochimaru would have been scowling at the fact that the two were both women if not for the fact that Sarah would now be advancing to Chunin and he could see how much she'd grown in a year's time.

"It's in their nature," she replied. "They're fighting their comrades – they want to end it quickly without doing too much harm."

"That's very considerate of them," the Mizukage said quietly.

"This is why they're weak. Let's say that two rival clans both hire Konoha ninja to fight their battles for them against each other. Let's say that said fight had to be to the death. Would your ninja do so, or would one of them surrender and not get paid for the mission?" Orochimaru countered.

"I see your point," Tsunade commended. "Point made. Now shut up so I can watch the show. I want to see what the legendary Kaguya clan can do."

"Even I haven't seen her in action," the Mizukage admitted sheepishly.

"I have a Kaguya in Otogakure, but he said he was the only one in his clan with their kekke genkai," Orochimaru taunted, and the two kage's wheeled around to face him. "He came to me as an orphan, and I took him in. he's rightfully mine."

"Fine," the Mizukage grumbled. "But his cousin, sister – however they're related – is mine."

"Quit now while you still can," Shino warned, and Kirari grinned.

"I'd like to see you make me," she mocked.

"Begin!" Genma said, and Kirari's bones immediately began protruding from her arm from inside her sleeve.

"It won't work," Shino said.

"We'll see," she taunted, and threw her fingertip bones at him like Kimimaro had Gaara.

"What the-?" Shino gasped in shock as they made impact with his shoulders. "Shrapnel?"

"Bone," she corrected, and pulled up her sleeves. "You like? This is my kekke genkai, special to the Kaguya clan, consisting of my cousin and me."

"Bone," Shino muttered, and I could tell he was trying to plot a strategy.

"Tired? Woozy? Bored?" she taunted further, and Shino backed off. "Not going to work! Ninja Art: Corpse summoning Jutsu!" she yelled, weaving hand signs, and bones and skeletons flocked to her once more.

"One trick pony," Shino replied, fending the skeletons off with his bugs as best he could.

"Fool," she yelled, causing the spikes to come out of the ground once more, creating a bone forest.

"An ace in the hole is good," he said simply. "But two is better!"

"What?" she asked shocked. She was now faced with an army of beetles on one side, and Shino on the other. "Over my skeleton!"

"Suit yourself," he murmured, and the beetles covered Kirari's body. I grinned, knowing he'd been playing exactly how she planned him to. "Impossible!"

"Die," she said firmly, sticking her bone into the inside of Shino, in a vital location that was dangerous, but not deadly. Shino fell to the ground, trying to use his bugs to stop the bleeding.

"It's no use – I've distracted them with a smoke bomb made of pure chakra," she grinned, "You're finished!"

She put a bone to Shino's throat, and he was unable to defend himself for the bones protruding from her ribs, legs, and arms.

"Aburame Shino can't continue. Kaguya Kirari wins the third match!" Genma announced, and I grinned in mirth, biting down on my lip in excitement. I knew Orochimaru was pleased with Kirari's progress. "TenTen and Hyuga Hinata, please come forward!"

"I'll do my best," Hinata said firmly, all trace of fear gone. "Sarah-san and her husband were kind enough to help me all month. I can't let them down!"

I was suddenly aware of the ground rushing up to meet me, and was quite glad that Kabuto and Kakashi had volunteered to keep an eye on us genin up here. I heard them muttering, and Kabuto was saying something about "low blood sugar". Oops – I hadn't really thought of that until now since it had never been a problem for me since I was a sugar food addict until I came to this world. Come to think of it, I hadn't had a single piece of candy since I'd started the Chunin Exams!

"Sarah, get up, your match," Kabuto said shaking me. I shook my head to relieve the blurriness. "Hurry – eat it! It's chocolate!"

"Thanks," I breathed as I began chomping down on it. Right as I finished the last bite, the crowd applauded loudly. "Huh?"

"Let me sum up," Kakashi said quickly. "Ino, Neji, Kirari, and Hinata won their fights. Your fight with Hinata will begin as soon as they clear up all of the weapons."

"Thanks," I breathed as I got back up. "Do they know?"

"Yeah, but they also know the cause. You're still in," Kabuto soothed, and I fist pumped.

"Denina, Sarah, please come down!" Genma shouted, and I leapt off the railing, using my chakra to cushion my fall by sliding down the wall.

"Any complaints?" I asked, and Hinata shook her head. "Fast, or Slow?"

"I-I-I don't care," she said simply. "I won't run away. Not after your husband and you spent so much time helping me so much."

"I'm going to perform a jutsu and let you reconsider," I said gently, weaving the hand signs for a summoning after putting a dab of my blood on my summoning "contract". "Kuchiyose! Orochi!"

_**Beeaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii! **_Orochi, my Serperior, now at level fifty-six, was boiling mad. He liked to be summoned most, but was summoned the least in public. He was still mad at me, I guessed.

Hinata shuddered as Orochi glared at her angrily.

"Still no? Orochi, Leer, Leaf Tornado, Leaf Blade, and Vine Whip!"

He performed the requested barrage, and Hinata stumbled backwards into the tree. Her arms were bleeding, and her legs were bruised from the whippings.

"I-I can't," she repeated, and began dodging Orochi's attacks. I sighed, then dodged backwards as she used a gentle fist to send Orochi back.

"Not bad," I admitted. "But how do you like _this_? Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" I weaved more hand signs, and suddenly the air was filled with a large amount of fireballs with poisoned Kunai in them.

Hinata dodged them all, but the fireball burnt the tree and the kunai proceeded to hit Hinata in the shoulder. She countered with the gentle fist, beginning to hit a few tenketsu.

"Nice try!" I laughed as my doppelganger vanished. I grinned, invisible, and rammed the back of her head with my fists balled together in a knot. I was rewarded with her crumpling to the ground unconscious as I dropped the invisibility jutsu.

"Denina Sarah wins," Genma announced. "And thus concludes the first rounds! Ino and Neji, step forward!" I leapt back into the stands, and sat back to watch the show.

"Ninja Art: Mind Transfer Jutsu!" Ino yelled, and Neji dodged calmly. He walked up to her, pressed a few tenketsu calmly, and walked away. When Ino got back up, she charged towards Neji angrily.

She was thrown backwards into the wall by his rotation, and didn't get back up.

"Hyuga Neji is the victor! Kaguya Kirari, and Denina Sarah, please step forward."

Neji headed back to the stands while we left once more. That battle had been so quick that I'd barely been able to finish three sticks of Pocky!

"Scared, Denina?" she taunted.

"You wish," I grinned, knowing that her weakness was Genjutsu, the art of illusion. As soon as Genma said to begin, I began casting. I pictured Orochimaru and Kimimaro in my mind, and locked eyes with her.

"It won't work," she said shuddering.

"It will," I assured her as I put my palm to her forehead, making my genjutsu stronger.

I began imagining Kimimaro in all sorts of unholy pain, and Orochimaru laughing his head off in the meantime. He probably was up in the stands. I then began imagining Kirari herself in a world of pain.

"No! Please, not Kimimaro! Anyone but him! No! Stop, please! I'll do anything!" she began pleading after about five minutes.

"What the hell…?" Genma muttered.

"Genjutsu," I told him with a grin. "Beg, Kirari. Beg for his pain."

"I'll do anything, just stop hurting him! Give me his pain!" she begged, and I laughed maniacally. I began recasting the genjutsu, altering it so that she was the one in pain, and probably in as much pain as Harry Potter had been when Voldemort had been using the Cruciatus curse on him. She began screaming and writhing, my chakra sending waves of pain through her. Her one weak point and I had practiced it every day with one hundred doppelgangers unless Orochimaru had forbidden it. Sadly, he wouldn't let me train at all during the last half of my pregnancy with Akuma.

"Beg," I purred. "Beg for freedom."

"KILL ME!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "KILL ME, PLEASE!"

"Withdraw," I ordered, and she began sobbing more.

"I withdraw! I want out! Get me away from here!" Kirari began screaming frantically, and I smiled. I looked at the position of the sun – she'd lasted twenty whole minutes, and that was a record for anyone other than Orochimaru. Even Sasuke hadn't lasted that long, and it was my genjutsu versus his Sharingan.

"Nice try," the medics said as they carried her shaking frame, which was in the fetal position, off of the field.

"The final match between Hyuga Neji and Denina Sarah will now commence!" Genma shouted, and I gaped in shock.

"You're joking, right?" I asked, and he shook his head. "Okay, let's get this over with."

"Begin!" Genma shouted, and Neji and I stared at each other.

"Why not call this a draw?" I asked, and Neji assumed the Gentle Fist stance, his Byakugan coming out. "I'll take that as a no. Damn. Well, you leave me no choice. Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

A hundred or so doppelgangers appeared from nowhere and began trying different strategies to beat him. After about five minutes, they were all gone, and the real me was below him with an earth style. I leapt out, intent on hitting his chin, but hit a doppelganger instead. Damn, he'd seen through it!

"There!" he yelled, trying to hit my tenketsu. I disappeared in a spray of mud, and used it to my advantage. I still had that bottle of pepper spray in my pocket – I didn't see why not to use it now.

"Take this!" I smirked, spraying his eyes suddenly. He clutched his eyes once more, and I threw the bottle to the ground, pounding his gut with my knee. I felt him begin a rotation, and dodged backwards before he could finish.

"You-You!" he growled, his anger rising though he was calm.

"Bitch? I know," I smirked, performing doppelgangers to perform multiple jutsu. "Kuchiyose! Lucifer!"

Seven jutsu went off immediately at once, and I grinned at my luck. I'd learned how to combine fire and lightning jutsu to create plasma jutsu once they mingled together. Neji was hit with a barrage of plasma jutsus from all directions, and his blind spot was infiltrated like it had been with Kidomaru.

A doppelganger threw a kunai at the blind spot – a poisoned kunai that blocked off the kerekurai, the chakra network. He lost control of his kerekurai, and I began maneuvering to confuse him. While he was busy trying to dodge all my doppelgangers, I puked up an army of snakes.

He was bitten by some, but it didn't change his speed or pace. He came at me to perform the gentle fist, and my worst fear gave me the courage and power I needed to continue once Neji pressed 64 of my tenketsu. I smirked and began opening the eight inner gates.

"Gate One, Kaimon, Release!" I yelled – it was the only way for me to open them since I'd learned by watching the episodes in the Anime where Lee fought Gaara. I lunged forward and performed the Forward Lotus once more.

Neji got back up and remained firm. I grimaced, and thought about how Lee had done it. Kaimon was used to break Gaara's sand shield, Kyumon to recover, then Seimon and Shomon to make his move, and Tomon to finish it off. Well, if Lee could do it, then so could I! My eight inner gates were now more prime than his after a year of training in taijutsu with doppelgangers.

"Gate Two, Kyumon, Release!" I gasped, and winced as my body began healing. "Got to end this! But – ah!" I weaved hand signs, calling on Renate this time.

"What the hell?" Neji yelled in shock as he jumped back shocked. Well, there went all my chakra.

"Get out of our way, vermin!" Renate shouted at Neji as she used the move Earthquake. Her ability of Sandstorm, which brought out Sandstorms with her, was probably blinding him as well.

"Renate-san, I need a Dark Pulse," I gasped, and her mouth began glowing black, her entire body following. She unleashed it, focusing it in on keeping it in the arena so no civilians got hurt.

"No way," he growled as he went flying backwards losing consciousness.

"Denina Sarah is our winner!" Genma announced, and I waved my right hand to salute to the crowd, leaning on my legs with my left arm. "Would you like to fight a Chunin?"

"Are you out of your mind? Eh, I don't see why not as long as I get to pick them," I gasped as I evened out my breathing. Now I knew why they called the eight inner gates double edged swords. "I can pick from the Sound, right?"

"Uh, sure, go ahead," he said, looking up to Tsunade for the answer as I grinned.

Kabuto wasn't yet a Jonin, although he was on a par with Kakashi, so he was out. I swallowed nervously, wondering which one to choose. It occurred to me then – I was bloodthirsty and Kidomaru liked to turn his fights into games. What would happen if I put the two together?

"Kidomaru!" I called up, and he handed Akuma over to Tayuya.

"Another fight? I don't think it wise," he fretted, still smiling, and I glared at him.

"Do I need to alert a certain…" I began, and he shook his head quickly. "Good. Then let's begin, and…"

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" we yelled, and leapt back away from each other.

He prepared an arrow to shoot at me, but I quickly and agilely dodged using doppelgangers to maneuver. I weaved hand signs for what I now christened the Rabbit Jutsu, the one I'd created, since it ended in rabbit. I ran, tired and happy the jutsu didn't take up much chakra any more. Kidomaru just barely missed me with his arrow, and I grabbed the cord to send an electric current of chakra into it.

He crumpled into the ground temporarily in a heap. I quickly began casting genjutsu and preparing a Chidori. I would tell the ninja of Konoha that I'd learned it from Sasuke if they accused me of thievery, even though I _had_ stolen it from Kakashi. I performed the Chidori perfectly as Sasuke and Kakashi had done before – but missed my target by Kidomaru's web steering me off course. I ended up hitting him in the upper gut area, just missing his stomach and diaphragm.

"Nice shot," he gasped, holding his wound in pain as I removed the weights as I had before. I needed all the chakra I could get for this next set of moves that he would likely be pulling out of his sleeves.

The idea hit me suddenly – I was a _Sound _shinobi, sound was known for their _music _as attacks, and I loved singing. I knew just the song that I could play while opening another inner gate that would help me fight. A number of songs to help get me riled up to fight – Mirror B's or a Cipher Peon battle theme; _Devil Take the Hindmost Reprise_ or _Beauty Underneath_; or, if I felt crazy, _Welcome to the Club Furry Remix _or _I just can't wait to be king_. I was personally vouching for the latter.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way.

Kidomaru summoned a large spider that produced an army of spider hatchlings, and I suddenly felt nauseated. Looks like I wasn't fully over my arachnophobia. I began gagging, and weaved the hand signs to turn my vomit into snakes.

If you can imagine two armies clashing, that's what his spiders and my snakes looked like. I kept vomiting snakes by the dozen, my body not stopping the jutsu until I was done vomiting – which was going to take a while. The two armies clashed, and poured over the entire battlefield. I was soon covered in spiders and Kidomaru in snakes. He began yelling, I began screaming, both in full panic mode. His curse mark was activated to second state, and I was reaching the end of my rope. I began to hear "To Die For" from the Lion King Soundtrack, and began looking for a place of refuge to escape. Kidomaru had tried climbing the walls, until the snakes created walls of their own to reach him.

I could vaguely hear some of the Jonin and Chunin of the Leaf trying to break up our fight, but to no avail since they were either covered in snakes or spiders, depending on which one they wanted to help. I could hear some of them panicking, Shikamaru among them, about trying to knock us both out.

"Enough!" the Mizukage yelled as she, Tsunade, and Orochimaru leapt down onto the battlefield.

"Konoha ninja, full retreat! Now!" she yelled out, and her Jonin and Chunin escaped as best they could.

"Get to the walls if you can't get out!" the Mizukage encouraged. "And get ready to swim!"

"No! You'll kill the ones we're trying to save!" Tsunade argued, and Orochimaru nodded his idea. "Mizukage-sama, get to the edges as well – Orochimaru and I are going to try a combination together from the wars."

"Right," she said before dodging past me.

"Sarah, if you can hear me, get to the west side! Kidomaru, the east!" Orochimaru ordered, and Tsunade began making her way towards the East side.

I was going to die here. I may as well crawl into the fetal position or the army squat to make it official.

"Summoning!" I heard Orochimaru and Tsunade yell in unison, and suddenly the spiders flooded off of me. I was atop a giant snake with Orochimaru, and Kidomaru atop a giant slug with Tsunade. "Are you alright?"

I coughed a couple times in reply, choking on my own saliva in shock. Everything hurt a lot, my throat and gut more so than the rest of me, and I was almost completely out of chakra. He should be taking that as a no.

"I would take that as a no," Tsunade called over. "Alright, Mizukage-sama, your turn! Konoha ninja that are still inside the arena, get on top of the slug or the snake if you don't want to drown!"

The ninja raced for a spot on the slug's head. Anko, Ibiki, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, and Guy came to the snake. I was lying down still, wanting nothing more than to stay there and cry until I vanished from embarrassment. My own jutsu getting out of control – how could I have been so stupid?

"She did well," Kurenai said gently. "Her jutsu was powerful when repeated, and matched up to that Kidomaru's spider jutsu."

"Pity it got out of hand," Asuma muttered. "I would've liked to see the end of it."

"Tsunade, is Kidomaru still conscious?" Orochimaru called over, and Tsunade stared at him.

"No – he's out like a light. Why?" she called back.

"Sarah's conscious," he reported loudly. He then muttered, "Crying like a baby, but conscious. I don't blame her – arachnophobia – she should have told me…"

"You didn't know?" the six Jonin asked in disbelief.

"How could I? She hasn't run in with any spiders except for Kidomaru's in training," he said shaking his head. "Even then, she made sure that he kept them away from her. I should have known from the few signs that she'd given…"

"You're such a jerk wad, Sensei," Anko accused.

"Thank you," he smirked. "Get some rest, Sarah. I daresay you've almost killed yourself with these jutsus…"

"Hai," I murmured before bursting into a coughing fit. As soon as it was over, I felt his chakra invade my kerekurai, and I was soon fast asleep.

And dreaming of becoming Chunin.

.

*Neji – same tactic as Naruto, only I would use my invisibility jutsu to hide while my doppelgangers fought him.; Hinata – she'd seen me training, and had seen me beat up Sakura, so I'd warned her to withdraw. She'd more than complied.; Kirari – motion for her to withdraw, or pop her arms and legs out of her sockets. She knew to let me win.; Ino – not to get caught in her mind jutsu and confuse and scare her; Kiba – he would withdraw, same as Hinata, but only once things got to where I was bloodthirsty like with Sakura or if he was too badly ; Shino – call forth Reshi, Korosu, or Lucifer. If I got too desperate I would summon Orochi, Phantasm or Renate; TenTen – vomit enough snakes to block all of her weapons, and definitely summon Phantasm; Choji – use a new Sound amplifying jutsu to take him down like Dosu had; Cloud Ninja – kill him without mercy using invisibility

**Think of the Chunin Exams chart in volume 10. It's the same match-up; Ino got 1; Choji, 2; Neji, 3; Kiba, 4; Shino, 5; Kirari, 6; Sarah, 7; Hinata, 8; TenTen, 9; Kumonin, well, whatever, who cares?

Like I said before, I own no music in this fanfic! The songs I listed in order are: Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness for the Nintendo GameCube; "Welcome to the Club" is done by… idk, really – I just got it off of YouTube randomly. "Caramelldancen" is done by Caramell. You should listen to it – totally awesome! "Beauty Underneath" & "Devil Take the Hindmost" are off of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Love Never Dies", sequel to Phantom of the Opera. Epic movie, btw.


	21. Test Results

I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.

"It's a pity that the two of you lost control of your Justus. I was rather enjoying that fight," Orochimaru chuckled a few days later when I finally woke back up.

"How bad was it? Did they consider it a war attempt? Am I in trouble? Who all became Chuunin?" I asked, worried for my life and sanity.

"Very chaotic, no, and no. Well, not with me, you're not. The Hokage and Mizukage on the other hand aren't happy with the – ah – results of the testing. The two Hyuugas, the Yamanaka girl, the Aburame boy, and Kirari," he replied slyly. "However, you were also on the list of those who were recommended for Chunin – most especially after making the jutsu lose control like that, and I must say I'm quite proud of a job well done."

"Thanks," I said sheepishly. "What do I have to do to become Chunin?"

"Nothing much – tis a simple task, really," he chuckled. "All you need to do is return to Earth and torture a man. I'm afraid that it will have to wait for another few weeks to let you recover."

A few weeks later, Orochimaru had approached me in the hospital – which Kabuto had insisted that I go to for better and proper treatment of any and all injuries I may have had. The others had been promoted to Chunin without me, and Orochimaru had finally decided on my assignment.

"I'll do it," I said immediately, only then realizing that I hadn't set requirements.

"My my, so eager…" he gushed quietly. "Very well. The man you are to torture is a man by the name of DeShaun Thomas – dark skinned male who is a year or two younger than you, and a convicted felon for statutory rape and sexual harassment. He began his career in high school, and has been on the incline ever since. You may go."

"Thank you!" I gushed, leaping out of bed to embrace him. "I've been trying to put that jerk out of my mind ever since I came here!"

"You know him?" Orochimaru asked, suddenly alert.

"Yeah – he picked on me for three years in math class," I replied curtly. "And in my sophomore year, he touched me where he shouldn't have – upper left, if you know what I mean."

"I do," Orochimaru growled. "Three years? And nobody noticed this?"

"I told the counselors, but nobody listened," I whined, gathering things I would need for this mission.

"What are you taking?" he asked, honestly curious.

"Senbons that will heat up with my chakra, summoning scrolls, my kuchiyose scroll for the things in our room of course, and last, but not least, my aunt's chair. Oh, come on, it's only fair that I give it back," I laughed, and he shook his head. "Besides, I'm also taking a little something that will force him to remember me – a little something that he'll soon come to hate and fear. Don't worry – I'll be sure to mentally and physically scar him in as many ways as I can."

"You must really hate whoever you're talking about," Kabuto said as he walked in. "Wait – what the devil are you-?"

I walked onto the scroll that allowed me to go back to Earth once more, and I willed my mirror to show me Orochimaru. I realized then that I hadn't had a menstrual cycle since the beginning of the chuunin Exams, and that none of the other Otonin, not even the Sound Five, knew about what was going on. I suddenly realized that Orochimaru and Kabuto were the only Otonin who knew whether or not I was alive and healthy.

"You sent her there? Sir, she's pregnant again!" Kabuto pled, and orochimaru wheeled around to face him.

"What did you just say?" Orochimaru growled menacingly.

"Ah, Sarah-sama's pregnant with your child again, sir! Kinara is playing the role of surrogate mother perfectly and carrying Tenshi-sama safely in her womb like you wanted. And, um…well, Ruka is perfectly healed, sir. Her nerves will act up two days a year, but she'll be just fine now, sir."

"Well done. Let's see what Sarah does now, shall we?" he asked, and I shut the mirror off, knowing he'd be tracking me with his. I raced out, and realized I had no idea where DeShaun Thomas was at all.

"Well, if I were DeShaun, where would I be?" I asked as I walked into the Fayetteville High School. As fun as it would be to explore the new layout, which was a restoration of the old one alongside a new building and some new floors, I refrained for the sake of the mission.

When I finally found my target, I cornered him inside a classroom and began torturing him cruelly. I pulled his pants down and stuck the Senbon needles in his vital male areas through the underwear and boxer shorts. I began slashing his face brutally, and right as I was about to slash his gut, a hand came onto my wrist. I turned around to face my opponent and kill him or her for ruining my fun.

Orochimaru smiled back at me.

"Come," he said simply as he turned away. I gathered all my Senbon, and walked after Orochimaru as we headed back to Konohagakure.

"Orochimaru, I thought," I began, but trailed off, confused. He told me to go torture someone, then stops me. What was going on here?

"Well done," he smirked. "You were the last person I expected to willingly torture a man. I daresay you've made quite a good impression of the Sound for the other villages – our village will be getting many more requests now. As a result, I think you'll find that they shall be a bit more receptive, and…open to your needs and abilities."

I was left to wonder what he meant the entire day and a half journey back to the Sound. I stared at him in awe and amazement, wondering what his brilliant mind was cooking up now. I knew it probably had something to do with the Sharingan, but also that he could easily have been plotting the destruction of a different Shinobi village. I sat down and ate my dinner in silence, wondering what he was thinking. He was looking at me with a newfound light in his eyes, one that I hadn't seen since I'd pleaded with him for marriage. I looked away, and began avoiding him. It didn't feel right to have him look at me that way, it wasn't natural – even for him. We slept in silence, with nothing interrupting us since we were on the way back from the Chunin exams, rumors of my strength and abilities having already gotten around.

As soon as we walked back into Otogakure, we were met with a loud chorus of applause. I could hear the applause before we even reached the village. I could hear people rejoicing as we made our way to the City square. The timing and everything made me feel like I was listening to Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas movie at the end.

"Sarah's Okay!"

"And she's back okay! "

"She's alright! Let's shout!"

"Make a voice! Scream it out!"

"Sarah's back! Now, everyone sing in our town of Halloween!" I grinned, knowing that some Leaf ninja referred to Otogakure as "Halloween-Town" since it was filled with people that gave them the creeps.

"What is this?" one of the ninja yelled in shock, then whispered. "What is this?"

I left the town center, crying at staying a Genin. I could still hear the others conversing amongst themselves. I scoffed. It was April, and Christmas was December. It was also a leaf nickname, though.

"I haven't got a clue. Why, it's completely new! Must be a Christmas thing - It's really very strange. This is Halloween. This is Halloween."

"My dear Chunin, if you don't mind - I'd like to join you by your side – where we can gaze into the stars."

I turned around to face Orochimaru, joining him in his song for joy at his approval. I was Chunin now!

"And sit together – now and forever. For it is plain as anyone can see – we're simply meant to be," we sang, pulling each other's fingers together and kissing on the hillside near the Otogakure cemetery.

I mentioned the song in the Chapter, but I'll list it again for good measure and say that I don't own it. The song was "Final Reprise" off of Tim Burton's Nightmare before Christmas, and I own nothing from the song, scene, or movie!


End file.
